Valen had suffered many indignities in his long, immortal life. Beheadings. Stake ambushes. That one time he was outsmarted by a cabbage merchant. But nothing... absolutely nothing... could compared to being fluffed, collared, and coddled by an abnoxious fairy on a sun-drenched morning.
Fel sat cross-legged on a mossy rock, cradling him in her lap like a freshly baked pastry. He squirmed. She squealed.
"Oh no you don't! Who's my angry little evil puff?" she chirped, rubbing her cheek against his. "Oh Yes, it's you! You're the angriest fluffball in the world!"
Valen snarled.
It came out like a squeaky sneeze.
"I will end you," he hissed.
Or tried to. All that came out was: "Meep!"
Fel gasped. "Did you meep at me? You did!" She clutched him tighter. "Kyaaa! This is the best day ever."
"Release me from this nightmare," he growled, flailing his tiny limbs. "Unbind me and face your doom like a-"
"Shhh, I'm transforming," she said brightly, setting him down on a moss cushion like a prince in timeout. She stood, stretched, and raised her arms to the sky. Vines curled around her wrists, light slipping through the canopy like silk. A faint hum echoed. like flute music being played backward.
"Turn. To. Human."
The wind paused. The trees leaned in. Somewhere, a squirrel fainted.
A flash of moonlight spiraled around her as the command took hold. sparkling dust swirling, petals lifting like confetti. Her wings folded into her back, her limbs stretched elegantly, and her face shimmered with smug radiance. The forest practically played a fanfare in her honor.
When the light faded, Fel stood barefoot, statuesque, and grinning like she'd just invented royalty.
"I mean," she said, brushing invisible dirt off her now-chic travel tunic, "you're welcome."
Valen wheezed. "You turned into a show pony."
"I turned into perfection," she said, adjusting her hair to fall just right. "Now hold still for your collar, darling. It's couture."
She snapped the living vine-and-wood collar around his neck with all the pride of someone branding their pet with style. Magic flickered as the collar synced with the forest.
"See? Now you, me, and Glitterhoof get to keep command magic outside the forest. You should be grateful."
"Glitterhoof?" Valen echoed in horror.
That's when the unicorn trotted into view. pristine white coat, an ever-glowing spiral horn, and eyes that screamed, I was once a divine being, now I ferry vegetables.
Fel marched up, dramatically draped her arm across the unicorn's back, and with a regal flip of her hair said, "Turn to horse."
A shimmer. A Whoosh. The horn vanished, replaced with a shiny forehead. The unicorn let out a long, suffering sigh.
"Perfect," Fel declared. "Now no one will suspect a thing. Let's go shopping!"
Valen, tucked under her arm like a bitter handbag, muttered, "This is a nightmare."
"And I'm the dream that makes it worse," she beamed, hopping onto the horse. "Let's ride."
The trek to the capital was long, with Valen enduring the journey nestled in the crook of Fel's arm, his face pointed outward like some bizarre fashion accessory. He could only imagine the kind of chaos he could bring if he could transform back, but that was not the reality he found himself in.
"Why do we have to go all the way to the capital?" he grumbled. "Why couldn't you just shop closer to home? Don't tell me you're getting plants that bad."
Fel's gaze sparkled with dangerous enthusiasm. "Oh, darling, it's not just plants. It's gardening supplies. You don't understand. A well-tended garden is everything. Plus, there's fertilizer and the freshest compost. We're going big today."
"Fertilizer? Really? You're turning into a domestic freak."
"I'm thriving, thank you."
They rode on, weaving through the dense forest before the trees began to thin. The air grew warmer, the canopy above dimming as the sunlight fell into more open ground. That's when the low growl reached Valen's ears.
A shadow shifted in the trees. Another joined it.
"Fel," he said, voice tense. "We've got company."
Fel didn't seem to notice, or perhaps she was too wrapped up in the delight of her own existence. She kicked her horse into a trot, humming casually.
"Oh, don't worry about them. They're nothing. Just a bunch of monsters hoping to get their claws on us."
Valen watched as the group of monsters. half-rats, half-wolves, all angry. pounced from the brush, claws outstretched. He immediately assumed that Fel, with her command magic, would handle it. After all, she was the powerful fairy who could twist reality with a mere word. That's what made her terrifying.
Fel, however, glanced at them nonchalantly and then back at Valen with a sharp grin. "Run."
Valen blinked. "Run?"
"I'm weak outside the forest," Fel explained cheerfully, her voice dangerously upbeat. "Remember? No more command magic. I'm just a regular fairy without it."
"What about your 'other' magic? Can't you-"
"Nope. I've got nothing. So run it is."
"Great," Valen muttered, as the group of monsters gave chase. "I've been reduced to a glorified backpack." He twitched under his collar and gave it a brief, resentful tug.
"Come on, Glitterhoof!" Fel urged the horse, as she snapped the reins, sending them bounding into the distance. The unicorn let out a quiet neigh, clearly more annoyed by the situation than Valen was. But together, they dashed, weaving through the trees and over the terrain with remarkable speed.
Valen held on for dear life. He couldn't even speak his usual threats, not with his little fluff body swaying like a ragdoll with each movement.
"Weren't you going to be all heroic?" Fel teased as they gained distance from the monsters, her voice light with amusement. "Aren't you supposed to be, I don't know, protecting me?"
"Just kill me fel... just kill me..." Valen grumbled.
And they kept running. Fel, the unbothered fairy princess, and Valen, the fluffy embodiment of existential dread. The chase faded as they reached the outskirts of the capital, and Fel's shopping spree was soon underway.