> "You can't claim to be a background character when the narrative literally panics if you leave a scene!"
— Buggy D. Clown, slamming glitter-covered legal papers
---
[Location: System Courtroom – Dimension: Code:404-Fairness-NotFound]
A grand courtroom formed in the void.
The judge's bench floated.
The witness stand sparkled ominously.
The System hovered above as a glowing cube in a judge's wig.
Spectators filled the void-seats:
Magical girls
Frogs in tiny suits
A talking duck that once bit a demon
System Voice:
> "Now opening Case #0001:
The People vs. MC — Allegation: 'Narrative Fraud & Excessive Screen Time While Pretending To Be A Background Character.'"
---
[Prosecutor: Buggy D. Clown (Law Degree Pending)]
Buggy slammed a scroll on the table.
Buggy (screaming):
> "I object to his entire existence!
He gets screen time, mystery, fandom appeal, and monologues!
Meanwhile, I tripped in one chapter and now I'm a 'cult leader!'"
Deadpool (court stenographer):
> "Objection noted and spelled wrong. Keep going, glitter boy."
---
[Defense: Kazuma Satou (Reluctant)]
Kazuma (rubbing temples):
> "Look, my client—if I can even call him that—is just naturally ominous.
It's not his fault plot threads wrap around him like clingy emotional octopi."
Buggy:
> "HE'S GOT A TRAIT CALLED 'HEARTBREAKER BY DEFAULT!' I CHECKED THE SYSTEM FILES!"
System (calmly):
> "He also has 27 hidden titles, including 'Narrative Hazard,' 'Audience Whisperer,' and 'Tea-Based Intimidation.'"
Kazuma:
> "…Okay yeah that's sus."
---
[Witness Testimony – Rias Gremory]
Rias (looking mildly offended):
> "He's supposed to be a nobody.
Then he emotionally dodged five girls, hijacked a festival, and disappeared through a broom closet twice."
Buggy:
> "SEE?!"
---
[Witness Testimony – Batman (called against his will)]
Batman (appearing from shadow):
> "I studied him. He doesn't make sense.
He violates narrative physics and creates emotional tension just by drinking tea.
Even I'm scared."
Buggy (fist raised):
> "AND YET HE'S STILL LISTED AS 'NEUTRAL SUPPORT CHARACTER' IN THE FILES!"
---
[Defendant: MC Speaks]
MC stood up.
Adjusted his tie.
Looked straight at the System.
MC (calm):
> "I never claimed I wasn't involved.
I simply… never raised my hand."
He turned to the gallery.
> "Is it my fault that the world leans toward shadows?
That the plot wanders when I walk?
That the tea tastes better when I monologue?"
Pause.
> "I am not the protagonist.
I'm just the pause between panels…
the space where your attention accidentally lingers."
Deadpool (crying while typing):
> "That was so poetic I need a taco."
---
[System Deliberation: 0.03 Seconds]
> "After review, we conclude:
The defendant is indeed guilty of narrative distortion.
However… he is also the only one holding this story together with sarcasm and anti-romance.
System Hammer Slams.
> Punishment:
No screen time reduction.
But from now on, every time he claims to be a background character…
Buggy gets a fan letter."
Buggy (sobbing):
> "VICTORY!"
---
[System Notification]
> Trait Gained:
"Trial Survived (Lv.1)" – Immune to narrative lawsuits, screen time audits, and accusations of coolness fraud.
Also, Buggy now gets 1d4 clout every time you lie.
---
End of Chapter 49: The Verdict is Chaos