The Den Den Mushi's shell hardened to jagged pink coral, its lips twisting into a smirk sharp enough to draw blood. Donquixote Doflamingo leaned back in his throne-like chair aboard the Numancia Flamingo, fingers steepled, the air thick with the cloying sweetness of Sanguine Lily nectar and the metallic bite of fresh-spilled wine. Outside the porthole, Dressrosa's toy soldiers marched in mindless loops, their painted smiles cracking under the midday sun.
The snail's voice dripped venomous silk. "Vergo~. Been awhile. Miss the taste of failure?"
On the other end, Vergo sat cross-legged in the dim belly of a Marine warship, bamboo stick balanced across his knees. The scent of salt and seared meat clung to him—remnants of an "interrogation" that had left three traitors charred and whimpering. The snail's mimicry of Doflamingo's sunglasses glinted, hiding eyes that saw too much.
"Donquixote-sama," Vergo rumbled, voice like gravel underboot. A half-eaten rice ball sat forgotten on his desk, cold and hardening. "You're calling about Isla Koralia."
"Smart boy~!" Doflamingo's laugh scraped like nails on glass. "Mihawks's little shadow slipped through your fingers there. Let that brat blow up Kaido's precious spice supply. Tsk. But guess what waltzed into Nieuw Bloemendaal?"
Vergo's bamboo creaked under his grip. "Her."
"And a bonus!" The snail's tongue flicked. "Law."
A muscle twitched in Vergo's jaw. Isla Koralia's ruins flashed in his mind—Ace's smirking face, the Flame-Flame fruit setting the island ablaze as he was carried away, unconscious on a stretcher. Humiliation, hot and acidic, bubbled in his gut.
Doflamingo leaned closer, the snail's face distorting. "Bring them to me. Alive. Or…" He trailed off, the threat hanging like a noose.
Vergo stood, bamboo tapping the floor in a slow, deliberate rhythm. "Nieuw Bloemendaal's under Kaido's thumb. The Beast won't like trespassers."
"Kaido's busy drowning in sake and self-pity," Doflamingo sneered. "Besides—you think a few Gifters scare me?"
Through the warship's hull, Vergo heard the distant wail of a seagull—or a prisoner. He flexed his Haki-hardened fingers. "And the girl?"
"Mihawk's problem. Our prize." The snail's grin widened. "Her sword's got… history. Cut it out of her if you have to."
Vergo's bamboo split the air with a crack. A rat scurrying in the shadows burst into splinters. "Alive. But not intact."
"There's my boy~!" Doflamingo crooned. "Oh, and Vergo?"
"Hn."
"Fail again, and I'll feed you to the lilies. They'd love your stubborn bones."
The line died. The snail slumped, shell fading to ashen gray.
Vergo stared at the bamboo shards littering the floor. Law's face flickered in his mind—a scrawny brat in Flevance's ashes, all rage and scalpel-sharp wit. Not a brat anymore.
He buttoned his Marine coat, the fabric straining over Haki-hardened muscle, and barked at the trembling ensign outside. "Set course. Nieuw Bloemendaal."
The ensign saluted, sweat dripping onto his collar. "S-sir! And the Admiral?"
Vergo crushed the rice ball in his fist. "Tell Akainu… it's a pest control issue."
As the warship turned, slicing through waves tinged pink from distant SAD spills, Vergo polished his bamboo. The last time he'd faced Marya, he'd underestimated her.
This time, he'd break every bone first. Ask questions never.
*****
The labyrinth to the Blood Dike wasn't a labyrinth so much as a drunkard's sketch of one—narrow alleys zigzagging like snail trails, canals choked with lily rot, and windmill gears jutting from walls like rusty teeth. Jean Bart, all seven feet of him, ducked under a low-hanging pipe, only to snag his coat on a stray nail. The fabric rrrripped, revealing a slice of his tattooed back.
"Classy," Ikkaku snorted, wrench in hand. "Now you're a pirate and a fashion statement."
"Quiet," Jean Bart grumbled, yanking free. "Or I'll use you as a battering ram."
Uni, trailing behind, adjusted his goggles. "Captain said 'stealth.' So maybe…" He gestured to Jean Bart's newly ventilated coat. "…don't glow in the dark?"
The trio squeezed through a crevice barely wider than Bepo's waist, the walls oozing neon sludge that smelled like birthday cake left in a dumpster. Ikkaku gagged. "Who knew dystopia'd be so fruity?"
Ahead, a "bridge" of splintered planks spanned a canal. Jean Bart tested it. The wood groaned.
"Nope," Ikkaku said. "I'd rather swim."
"In that?" Uni pointed to the sludge below, where a half-submerged Gifter—a deformed puma/man with tulip claws—snored loudly, petals fluttering with each snort.
Jean Bart stepped onto the planks. Creeeak. "Move fast."
Ikkaku inched forward. "Famous last—"
SNAP.
The plank gave way. Jean Bart caught her by the collar, dangling her over the deformed puma.
"…words," she finished, kicking air. "Pull me up, you overgrown anchor!"
The puma sneezed, pollen exploding upward. Uni sneezed back. "Allergies. Great."
The Blood Dike loomed at last—a Frankenstein's monster of ship hulls and makeshift timbers, towering over the sea. Overseers barked orders, herding shackled workers to patch cracks with tar that reeked of burnt licorice. Gifters patrolled: deformed petal-scaled snake men coiled around scaffolding, deformed mountain lion man creatures gnawing on SAD barrels like chew toys.
Ikkaku whistled. "So… we need a firework show. Got a spare nuke, Uni?"
Uni unrolled a blueprint. "Basic explosives'll tickle them. We need…" He paused. "…something bigger."
Jean Bart crossed his arms. "Define 'bigger.'"
"Kaido's nectar tanks," Uni said, pointing to bloated silos stamped with Doflamingo's grin. "Ignite those, and—"
"—we'll paint the sky rainbow," Ikkaku finished, grinning. "I like it."
Jean Bart raised a brow. "And the part where we don't die?"
A worker suddenly tripped, spilling tar. An Overseer whipped him, shouting, "Lazy dog!"
Ikkaku cracked her knuckles. "Distraction time. Bart, play 'terrifying ghost ship.' Uni, be… techy."
"And you?" Uni asked.
She grabbed a SAD barrel. "I'll be the spark."
Jean Bart sighed. "Law's gonna kill us."
"Only if we survive," Ikkaku said, already rolling the barrel toward the tanks.
*****
The captain's quarters of The Paper Serpent stank of salt, static, and the lingering sweetness of burnt sugar—a relic from Akako's last "experiment" with cannon fuse confections. Captain Umeko Ozias sat at his desk, ram-horns scraping the low ceiling as he sorted through a pile of Marine darts, each tip notched with a kill count. His trench coat, black as a starless sky, hung open to reveal a chest mapped with scars from Celestial Dragon chains. Amber eyes, unblinking, flicked to the Den Den Mushi on his desk—its shell slowly shifting from ivory to lurid pink, swirls curling like poisoned ribbons.
He answered before the third ring.
"Ozias~," crooned the snail, its voice syrup-thick and razor-edged. Donquixote Doflamingo's grin stretched the mollusk's face into something grotesque. "Heard you've been busy. Smuggling SMILEs. Burning ports. Adorable."
Umeko said nothing. The snail's mimicry of Doflixote's sunglasses glinted, hiding eyes that saw too much.
"An old… acquaintance of yours docked at Nieuw Bloemendaal," Doflamingo purred. "Trafalgar Law. And guess who's clinging to his coattails? Mihawk's little brat. Marya, was it?"
Umeko's thumb brushed a dart's fletching—Shanks' crew, East Blue, 1522. "What of it?"
"Bring them to me. Alive." The snail's tongue flicked. "Kaido's irritated, since the brat's been poking his SAD stock. Can't have that~."
A muscle twitched in Umeko's jaw. The invisible chains beneath his coat seemed to tighten. "Why me?"
"Because," the snail leaned closer, voice dropping to a venomous whisper, "you owe me. Or did you forget who unshackled you?"
Static crackled—not from the snail, but from Umeko's horns, tiny arcs of lightning dancing in the dimness. The air smelled of burnt and old blood.
"Reinforcements en route," Doflamingo said. "Try not to let the girl's sword split that pretty face wider, eh?"
The line died. The snail deflated, shell fading to ashen gray.
Umeko stood, his shadow swallowing the room. He opened a locked drawer, retrieving a poem scrawled on Marine parchment—The storm eats its own tail, it began. He crushed it in his fist.
Outside, Akako's laughter echoed as she "tested" her hammer on the mast. "SUPERNOVA SMASH!"
Thud.
The ship listed.
Umeko pocketed the darts, twin maces Twin Thunder humming at his hips. Law's face flickered in his mind—a boy in Flevance's ashes, all rage and ruin. Another ghost.
He stepped onto the deck, where Ozul muttered zodiac profanities at a cracked fortune cookie.
"Set course," Umeko ordered. "Nieuw Bloemendaal."
Akako blinked, Baretto the devil-bear plush dangling from her grip. "Ooh! New vacation spot?"
Umeko stared at the horizon, where storm clouds coiled like serpents. "Graveyard."
The Paper Serpent docked with a groan, its hull scraping against the pier's neon-smeared pylons. Captain Umeko Ozias stood at the prow, his dark-colored ram horns crackling faintly with static, the scent of fumes cutting through the cloying sweetness of Sanguine Lily sludge. Below, the docks teemed with hollow-eyed farmers and Overseers barking orders, their black clogs slipping in the pink muck.
Clione, Hakugan, Penguin, and Shachi huddled near a boarded-up spice stall, their Heart Pirate jolly roger patches glaringly out of place. Clione twirled his staff, its ends wrapped in stolen Marine bandages, while Hakugan's twin katanas rested in a bored cross on his shoulders. Penguin flipped a Bloom Token, its iron petals glinting. "Nobody's seen shit," he muttered. "It's like the Tang vanished into—"
"—the void?" Shachi grinned, nodding to a nearby mural of Marya's silhouette, her sword swallowing light. "Dramatic."
"Well, well~!"
Amaru Valentine slinked from the crowd, his Hawaiian shirt pristine despite the island's grime, Lady Luck rifle slung over his shoulder. A trail of smitten dockworkers—including a Marine lieutenant clutching a love note—trailed behind. "Captain Umeko! Back so soon? Miss me?"
Fenna Van Dijk followed, her parrot squawking curses from her shoulder. She eyed the Heart Pirates like a hawk spotting prey. "Explosives for intel, boys?" she called, patting a satchel of black-market detonators. "Discount rates!"
Umeko ignored them, and the rest of his crew as they called after him, his amber gaze locking onto the Heart Pirates. His boots hit the dock, each step leaving a crackle of static in the neon puddles.
Clione stiffened. "Uh. That's a Beast Pirate."
Hakugan unsheathed his blade. "And?"
Penguin pocketed the Bloom Token. "And he's walking right at us."
Umeko stopped a sword's length away. "Trafalgar Law. Where?"
Shachi snorted. "Bold opener. Buy us a drink first?"
Static sparked from Umeko's horns. "Last ask."
Clione's staff snapped into guard position. "We're looking for him too. Our sub's gone."
Amaru whistled. "Ooh, lover's quarrel?"
Fenna rolled her eyes. "Idiots. That's Kaido's smuggling lieutenant."
Umeko's hand drifted to Twin Thunder, his spiked maces. "Law's mine."
Hakugan's blades hissed free. "Try it, Static King."
The dock froze—farmers scattering, Overseers halting mid-lash. Even Fenna's parrot held its breath.
Then—
Bang!
A SAD barrel exploded atop Windmill No. 4, raining neon confetti. Ikkaku's cackle echoed. "Oops!"
The chaos erupted.
Amaru backflipped onto a crate, Lady Luck aimed at Clione. "Dibs on the grumpy one!"
Fenna ducked a flying lily stem. "Explosives! Get your explosives!"
Umeko swung Twin Thunder, the maces crackling. Hakugan met him, blade singing as it deflected the blow. Clione's staff hooked Umeko's ankle, but static zapped his palms—he yelped, retreating. "He's a walking taser!"
Shachi lunged at Amaru, daggers flashing. "Flirt on your own time!"
Amaru blew him a kiss. "Aw, you're cute when you're stabby~!"
Penguin, ever the pragmatist, sidled up to Fenna. "Where's our sub?"
She smirked, tossing him a smoke bomb labeled DISCOUNT FREEDOM. "Blood Dike. Cost you double."
"ENOUGH."
Umeko's roar split the air, static surging. Lights flickered. Hakugan's blades trembled mid-swing.
Then—
A Den Den Mushi rang. Doflamingo's laugh oozed from Umeko's coat. "Tick-tock, Captain~!"
Umeko froze. The static died.
Shachi wiped neon sludge off his cheek. "…We done here?"
Umeko turned, storming back to his ship. "Next time, I won't ask."
Amaru pouted. "Party pooper."
As they retreated to the Paper Serpent, Penguin pocketed Fenna's smoke bomb. "Blood Dike, huh?"
Clione glared at his singed palms. "Let's never do that again."