The moment the notification popped up, Kaito knew two things:
One, he was officially in over his head.
Two, there was no way in hell he was giving up his side hustle.
[Warning: Interdimensional Authority Detected. Unauthorized Trade Detected. Penalties Imminent.]
He tapped the screen, hoping for more info, but the message blinked out—replaced by a spinning loading icon.
"Fantastic," he muttered. "Even extradimensional warnings have buffering issues."
Just then, the shop door creaked open.
Kaito glanced up from his counter, half-expecting a knight with a cease-and-desist scroll. Instead, in walked a woman wearing an impeccable navy-blue coat, black gloves, and glasses that glinted unnaturally in the candlelight. She looked like a mix between a lawyer and a librarian, if both were trained assassins.
"Mr. Tanaka," she said, voice smooth as polished steel. "I represent the Bureau of Dimensional Trade Compliance."
"…The what now?"
She held up a badge. It flickered between realities for a second—one moment showing a runic seal, the next a QR code.
"My name is Audra Vale. You're in violation of multiversal commerce regulations. Namely: unsanctioned procurement, improper integration of foreign technology, and extreme price gouging."
"That last one seems subjective."
She didn't laugh.
Before he could say anything else, the door swung open again—this time slamming against the wall.
In stormed a tall young man wearing a long crimson coat and far too many belts. He had wind-blown blond hair, a massive sword strapped to his back, and the aura of someone who was either a hero or someone trying way too hard to look like one.
"Step away from him, bureaucrat!" the newcomer barked. "The Merchant of Wonders is under my protection."
Audra blinked. "Who are you?"
"Raelion Blazeheart, Guild-certified Champion and Sword-Saint of the West."
"…Of course you are."
Kaito stared. "Do I know you?"
Raelion grinned. "Not yet. But word of your relics has spread far and wide. I'm here to help. For a reasonable sponsorship cut."
Kaito rubbed his temples. "Great. The magical IRS and a walking anime protagonist. Just what I needed."
A voice behind him cleared its throat. "If we're gathering oddities, you may want to include the one poking holes in your magic kettle."
Kaito turned to see his mercenary bodyguard, Lyra, lounging on the counter behind him. The moonlight caught the twin daggers at her hips, and her long silver hair was tied back in a braid. Her sharp ears twitched toward the back of the store.
Kaito rushed to the kettle shelf.
Sure enough, a small soot-covered goblin in overalls was halfway through unscrewing a thermos with a wrench bigger than its head.
"Oi!" Kaito barked. "That's for sale!"
The goblin looked up with glowing yellow eyes. "Engineer Grizzle. Gadget inspector. New intern."
"Intern?! I never hired—"
"I did," Lyra said coolly. "He bribed me with a sprocket muffin."
Kaito groaned. "I haven't even figured out taxes yet…"
Audra crossed her arms. "Then let's begin."
A holographic contract unrolled mid-air, pages flapping in a nonexistent breeze.
"Sign here to register Modern Mart as a Recognized Cross-Dimensional Vendor. Failure to comply will result in item confiscation, memory alteration, and/or localized time reversal."
"Localized what?"
But Kaito, wisely, didn't argue. He signed the glowing line, and the contract vanished with a chime.
Audra nodded. "You're on probation. Don't break any more laws. We'll be watching."
She turned on her heel and strode out into the night.
Raelion gave a thumbs-up. "Well, that was dramatic. Now, about my sponsorship deal—"
"Out."
"I have a sword—"
"Still out."
Kaito shut the door and leaned against it, breathing hard.
Lyra walked over and clapped him on the shoulder. "Congrats, boss. You're now an official interdimensional businessman."
Kaito looked at the kettle, now somehow steaming hot chocolate, and muttered, "Yeah. What could possibly go wrong?"
Outside, in the shadow of the alley, a robed figure watched the glowing sign of Modern Mart flicker against the night sky.
They smiled.
"Target acquired."