The royal archive was dark, ancient, magically sealed, and absolutely perfect.
Kairon tiptoed past a row of "Do Not Enter" runes and slid the heavy doors shut behind him with the enthusiasm of a man who had just broken into a bakery. A very quiet bakery. That sold naps instead of bread.
"Bless the silence," he whispered, stretching like a sleepy cat.
He made his way between towering columns of dust-choked scrolls and found a cozy pile marked "CONTAINED ANOMALIES – DO NOT DISTURB."
Perfect.
He flopped onto the stack like it was a feather bed, sighed happily, and pulled one of the scrolls over his chest like a blanket. Beneath him, a strange stone glyph began to pulse with an ominous golden light.
Kairon's fingers brushed the center of it.
The glyph responded immediately.
[System Initialization Detected…]
A single eye cracked open.
[Establishing Host Compatibility… Match: 94.3%][Initializing Upgrade Protocol v1.00… EXP Multiplier: x10,000. Touch Transfer: ENABLED.]
"Can't it wait?" Kairon mumbled. "I just laid down…"
[Verbal Response Detected: Confirming Intent—Activating Branch: 'Snack Mode']
"…What?"
['Snack Mode' confirmed.][Establishing EXP Route: Snack Path of Wrath...]
Kairon sat up halfway, blinked, then slowly lowered himself back onto the scroll pile with a defeated groan.
"Sure. That's fine. Wrath sounds relaxing."
[Sarcasm registered as consent.]
"…You're exhausting."
[Initializing nap loop. System will remain active during rest cycles. Welcome, Host Kairon.]
A rune on the ceiling popped and sizzled like a dying fly.
Kairon pulled the scroll back over his face.
"I swear, if this turns into another war, I'm not getting up."
Then he slept.
And the world tilted just a little bit.