I sat cross-legged in the clearing, trying to look wise and mystical.
Across from me sat the Storm Wolf—scorched, twitchy, and staring at me like I was an idiot.
We had both just survived a magical boss battle that could've made a forest ranger cry. And now, here I was, trying to name a creature that looked like it had eaten at least three people today.
"So," I began, coughing dramatically. "Apparently, if I name you, you evolve or something."
The wolf tilted its head.
I took that as interest.
"Right. So… I shall call you... Bolticus Maximus."
The wolf blinked.
"No? Okay. What about Thunderbark?"
A tail swish. Possibly aggressive.
"Zapdaddy?"
A low growl.
"Okay, okay—too far. Look, this is harder than it sounds!"
I stood up and started pacing, muttering to myself. "I need something cool. Majestic. Fierce. Something worthy of a storm wolf..."
"Greg?"
The wolf sneezed.
"Right. Too mundane. Maybe... Stormfang? Voltusk? Sir Sparky the Third?"
The wolf gave me a look. You know the look. That deadpan "this is the guy I almost respected?" look.
I slumped. "Fine. Maybe naming isn't my thing."
[Name not assigned. Beast remains unnamed. Potential evolution paused.]
I sighed. "You know what? You're a strong, independent elemental wolf. You don't need no elf naming you. Be your own storm."
The wolf seemed to nod.
I pointed at it with mock-seriousness. "But if you do ever want a name... come back. I'll be waiting. With a thesaurus."
The wolf huffed, turned, and padded into the forest.
I flopped back into the grass.
"Why is bonding in fantasy worlds so complicated?"
[Hint: Try actual communication next time.]
[Also, Zapdaddy was a crime.]
[Apparently you cannot name other unless you have a name ]
" sigh why it is complicated"