It started in Power Math Theory class. The sun was shining, the professor was animatedly talking about the energy efficiency of quantum teleportation, and Ashley was carving flaming doodles into her desk with her pinky finger. All was normal. Until the air shifted.
A low rumble crept up through the floor. It wasn't seismic. It was... organic.
The floor trembled. The lights flickered. A foul stench wafted through the vents—something between rotten eggs and betrayal.
And then, without warning, a manhole cover blasted through the reinforced window, embedding itself in the chalkboard and exploding chalk dust everywhere.
Sera stared. "...That's not how you solve for X."
Cleo screamed and clung to the ceiling like a startled cat.
Ashley stood, flaming aura quietly building. "What fresh dumpster demon is this?"
A voice echoed from outside. It was deep. Dramatic. And disturbingly moist.
"BEHOLD! I AM... THE POOP KILLER!"
There he stood. A towering figure cloaked in brown rags, his helmet made of toilet lids. His gauntlets were plungers. His belt? Rolls of weaponized toilet paper—Charmin Ultra, extra absorbent.
Ava leaned out the broken window and squinted. "Why... why is he kind of built though?"
Cleo hissed. "I hate everything."
Poop Killer raised his arms to the sky. "From the sewers I rise! To cleanse this world in biological chaos! Witness my might!"
Fountains of sludge erupted from the ground, twisting into snakes of semi-solid horror. Students ran, desks flew, and the teacher dove out the window with an impressively high-pitched scream.
Ashley flash-stepped outside, now fully in her fire-engulf form, her body outlined in blazing red heat. "Alright, sewer samurai. Let's dance."
"TOILET TYPHOON!" Poop Killer bellowed.
A tornado of sludge spun toward Ashley, filled with half-eaten burritos and dreams long flushed. She zipped around it with fire streaks, punching a molten hole straight through. It collapsed, spraying the nearby hedges, which promptly died.
Ava charged in next, leaping off a fire-boosted Cleo who launched her like a cannonball. Ava's hand bled as she screamed, "Viral Hook!" and slashed a blood tendril at Poop Killer's chest. He caught it—with toilet paper hands.
"It's triple-ply, baby!" he cackled, hurling her into a tree.
Sera raised both hands. "I'm charging the lightning dome! Just buy me—"
Poop Killer cut her off by launching a massive attack.
"FINAL POOP BOMB!"
From the clouds descended a swirling, meteor-sized ball of compressed filth. The sky turned brown. Birds dropped dead midair.
Ashley, dead silent, stared up. Then:
"...Alright. Now I'm mad."
She ascended. Her flames went white. Her eyes turned into tiny burning stars.
"Sanitation EX Mode: Heaven's Purge!"
She flew directly into the poop meteor. For a moment, all was brown. Then, in a blinding flash, it turned to ash midair, and Ashley burst from it with a primal scream of rage, fist cocked back.
"BURNING FIST!"
Her fist connected with Poop Killer's gut. The shockwave vaporized the sludge geysers. Time seemed to pause.
Then he launched into the sky like a filthy rocket, vanishing into the stratosphere.
A boom echoed in the distance. A golden porta-potty crashed down into the quad. It opened with a hiss.
The Poop Killer emerged, dazed, smoking. "You fools… you haven't seen the last of—"
Ashley flash-stepped and decked him back inside.
The porta-potty flushed itself and disappeared.
Silence.
The group stood among the scorched earth and lingering stench.
Cleo raised a hand. "Can we at least get trauma therapy credit for this?"
Ashley stood in the center of the ruined gym, arms crossed, eyes glowing faintly orange. She exhaled, annoyed. "That was not the kind of fight I wanted."
Cleo, sitting cross-legged on a bench with a still-dripping mop in hand, snorted. "You wanted something sexier?"
Ashley stared. "Obviously. Fighting should be thrilling, not...disgusting."
Ashley rubbed the bridge of her nose. "He tried to make a 'Final Flush' joke. I'm never recovering."
Just then, Faith and Mercy's voices echoed from the hallway.
Faith entered first, her expression flat. "We've reviewed the footage. You were all...efficient."
Mercy followed with a wide smile. "And hilarious! That thing flying into the lunchroom tray stacks? Comedy gold."
Ashley shook her head and muttered, "This school's insane."