I don't know when it happened. When she started changing. When we stopped being us. I guess no one ever tells you how friendships fade. It's not like a big fight or a dramatic goodbye like in movies. It's quieter. Slower. Like watching a candle burn out — one tiny flicker at a time.
Ire and I used to be inseparable. People literally called us the twins who don't look alike. We finished each other's sentences, shared secrets no one else knew, and had dreams about the future."Promise me we'll always be best friends," she'd say. And I always promised.
But now… I don't even recognize her anymore.
It started with little things. She stopped waiting for me after school. Stopped replying to my messages as fast as she used to. Stopped sitting beside me in class. I told myself it was nothing — maybe she was just busy, maybe she was going through something she couldn't talk about yet.
Then came the new friends. The ones with perfect hair, loud voices, and fake laughs. Ire got pulled into their world so quickly it felt like I blinked and she was gone. Suddenly, she was posting pictures with them, having inside jokes I wasn't part of, going to places without telling me.
And I kept waiting.
Waiting for her to remember me. To come back.
But days turned into weeks, and every time I tried to get close again, it felt like she was a thousand miles away. I'd walk up to her and the conversation would feel awkward. Forced. Like we were two strangers pretending to be friends because we used to be.
And the worst part? She wasn't even mean about it. She just… drifted. Slowly. Quietly. No apologies. No explanation. Like she didn't notice it happening.But I noticed.
I noticed every time she laughed louder at their jokes.I noticed every time she avoided my eyes when I walked into the room.I noticed how she never texted first anymore.I noticed how my name disappeared from her conversations.
It hurts more when someone you love doesn't hate you — they just stop caring.
And today, it finally broke me.
We were paired together for a class presentation. For a second, I thought maybe, maybe, it was a chance to fix things. To talk. To laugh. To be us again. But when we sat together, it felt like two strangers working on a group assignment.She kept glancing at her phone, barely speaking to me unless it was about the project.
I tried. God, I tried.I asked her about the series we used to watch. She barely remembered.I reminded her about the silly dance we made up in JSS3. She laughed awkwardly and said, "Oh… yeah."I asked if she wanted to hang out after school. She said she was busy.
And that was it.
It hit me so hard I couldn't breathe for a moment. Because I realized I was holding onto something that wasn't there anymore.The Ire I loved… she's gone.
People always talk about heartbreak like it only happens when a boy leaves you. But no one warns you about the pain of losing a best friend. About watching someone who once knew everything about you slowly become a stranger.
When school closed, I didn't even bother waiting for her. I walked home with tears stinging my eyes, head down, pretending I wasn't breaking apart inside.
And now, lying on my bed, I keep replaying old memories like worn-out tapes. Our sleepovers. Our silly dances. The times we got in trouble for talking too much in class. The time she promised, "No matter what happens, we'll always be best friends."
Liar.
I feel stupid for holding on this long. For hoping.But how do you let go of someone who was once your person?How do you erase someone who's part of your happiest memories?How do you stop missing someone who doesn't even miss you back?
Dear Diary,I lost my best friend long before today. I just didn't want to believe it.Ire is gone. Maybe not physically, but the version of her I loved is.And it hurts. It hurts more than anything I've ever felt.I don't hate her. I wish I could.But love turns to emptiness before it turns to hate. And right now, I'm just… empty.
– Amiya