Ezio was running in circles like a headless chicken, panic radiating from every pore.
Conis tilted her head, watching him. "Is he... okay?"
"Maybe a delayed brain glitch," Hina muttered through tears. "Near-death trauma can do that."
"Get a grip, Hina!" Perona snapped, flailing her arms. "Do you know how rare your tears are now? You can't just spill them like common water!"
Hina sniffled. "I didn't ask to become a magical tissue dispenser."
Indeed, Hina had accidentally consumed the Chiyu Chiyu no Mi, a Devil Fruit that made her tears capable of healing any wound instantly. She'd hoped for a fruit that could trap criminals forever. Instead, she got... emotional first aid.
Ezio suddenly halted, wide-eyed and breathless.
"This fruit is amazing," he said, panting. "It's like a cheat code for life. Hina, you're the MVP."
Then he resumed running like the floor was lava.
"Hina just wanted to imprison villains and monologue dramatically…" Hina whimpered.
Why was Ezio running around like a headless chicken on fire, screaming internally (and externally)? Because, for once in his chaotic existence, he was completely average. No plot armor. No lucky breaks. Just raw, unfiltered mortality. His luck had been utterly obliterated in a last-minute escape from Garp, the human wrecking ball in a Marine coat. And now? Now he was just a squishy little side character in a world that throws mountains at people for fun.
"ENOUGH!" Ezio spun dramatically and pointed skyward. "CREW—ASSEMBLE!"
Conis stepped forward with a sunny smile. Hina shuffled into position, still dabbing her eyes. Perona sauntered up last, arms crossed and clearly unimpressed. Mansherry, not part of the crew and still ghost-traumatized, was hiding behind a barrel whispering, "Don't look at me, don't look at me…"
Ezio stood proudly in front of them, hands on hips. "Now, before you officially join the greatest crew ever, there's one test—one sacred trait I demand in my crewmates."
Perona raised an eyebrow. "Wait — you actually have a plan when you invite people into your crew? I thought you just picked whoever looked mildly interesting!"
Ezio ignored her. "You must have a spark. A unique, extraordinary quality that makes you irreplaceable."
"Wait," Hina frowned. "You didn't just… pick us at random?"
"I have standards," Ezio declared, offended.
Perona pointed at Conis. "Then explain her."
"What's wrong with me?" Conis blinked innocently.
"Nothing at all," Ezio said sweetly. "You're perfect. Just ignore the spiteful goth."
"Back when she wasn't throwing lightning bolts," Perona continued, "she was just a weird, glittering, sky-dwelling marshmallow with a harp."
"I still have the harp," Conis offered, helpfully.
Ezio nodded. "Exactly. She's multi-talented. That's what I look for in a crew."
Hina gave a small cough. "And me? I cry and things come back to life."
"That's priceless," Ezio beamed. "You're basically a portable reset button."
"Ezio," Perona sighed, "your 'elite crew' is one sad girl, one human thundercloud, and a ghost lady with pink pigtails and impulse control issues."
"And look how far we've come!" he said proudly.
"Nowhere," Hina muttered.
"Exactly!" Ezio grinned. "Wait—no! That's not where I was going with this. Focus, Ezio, focus."
He cleared his throat dramatically, as if about to deliver the speech of a lifetime.
"The point is… all of you have something very special."
"What is special about Hina?" Hina asked, still sulking over her shattered cage-based ambitions.
"I like to call it… plot armor," Ezio said with mock wisdom. "But you can also call it fate, destiny, divine protection… or my personal favorite: statistically improbable survival."
"…Huh?" All three of them blinked at him.
"Let me explain," Ezio said, raising a finger like a lunatic professor. "Take Conis, for example. Before she became the Lightning Menace™️, she was a literal puffball. No skills, no strength, just a big heart and shiny hair. Why did I invite her? Because the universe loves her. She's basically a magnet for miracles. A walking four-leaf clover in human form!"
"Luck?" Perona squinted. "You're seriously building a crew based on luck?"
"Luck is the most terrifying force in this world!" Ezio insisted. "You can train to fight, learn Haki, eat Devil Fruits—but you can't train your way out of a piano falling on your head. That's luck. And Conis? She could stroll into a Yonko's tea party and accidentally walk out with their treasure."
Perona paused. "…Didn't you survive Whitebeard and Kaido by sheer, ridiculous luck?"
Ezio pointed both thumbs at himself. "Exactly. I am the expert."
"I can sense luck. I can manipulate probability. I can steal other people's good fortune and give it away like a weird Robin Hood of statistical anomalies."
To be blunt, Ezio had been transported to the One Piece world from Earth just a month ago—right in front of a Devil Fruit that wasn't even canon. A filler fruit from the One Piece Gold movie, once used by Baccarat
"I chose all of you because you're blessed by the narrative! Fate likes you. And me? I need that kind of insurance policy to survive in this death trap of a world."
He took a breath and continued, arms spread like he was announcing a magic trick.
"Imagine every person as a glass. The water inside is their luck. Most people have a few sad drops. The lucky ones? Maybe half a glass."
He pointed at Conis. "She's the luckiest person I've seen so far. Her glass is basically brimming over!"
Then at Hina and Perona. "You two? Strong, capable, emotionally unstable—but still lucky. Your glasses are over halfway full. Not Conis-tier, but solid B+ luck."
"And the best part?" Ezio grinned. "I can siphon some of that luck, and it refills! That's why you three are perfect. A renewable resource of plot convenience!"
"SO WE'RE JUST LUCK BATTERIES?!" Hina and Perona shouted in unison.
"You can have my luck, Ezio!" Conis offered cheerfully, like she was handing over a cookie.
Ezio blinked, looked at the furious duo, then at Conis' sunshine-and-rainbows smile.
"…Okay, maybe I phrased that wrong."
"Maybe?" Hina said with a furrowed brow.
"You don't understand the magic of this power," Ezio grinned. "Do you know what people with top-tier luck can achieve in this world?"
The three girls exchanged thoughtful glances.
"Well, maybe a huge amount of luck helps us get rid of all the villains," Hina offered hopefully.
"I guess with more luck, I'd have more money. And with more money, I can definitely buy more cute things," Perona muttered, eyes sparkling.
"I guess with luck, we'd all be happier?" Conis added.
"No, you adorable idiots," Ezio muttered, shaking his head. "With luck, we SURVIVE."
All three blinked.
Was THAT the ambition of their captain?!
Suddenly, a new voice cut through the moment. "What a strange bunch you are."
Everyone turned to see the newcomer.
She was a woman—tall, slender, and curvy in all the right places, with light skin that seemed to glow. Her full lips curled into a smirk, and her amber-orange eyes glimmered with amusement. Long, slightly wavy dark brown hair was pulled back, held in place by a single rose. All of it was framed by a flamenco dress dotted with violet polka dots and trimmed with maroon frills, making her look both fierce and elegant.
"Okay," Ezio sighed. "Crew… time to show you what I meant with some action!"
He walked up to Perona first and pointed at her puffed-up cheek, touching it lightly. Perona suddenly felt a strange tug, like something precious was being taken away—something she didn't want to lose.
He did the same to Hina and then Conis.
"Be careful for the next couple of days," Ezio grinned. "Right now, your luck is just that of an average person. It'll take at least a day before your original luck fills back up."
Then, he turned and stepped to the newcomer, stopping just a meter in front of her.
"Viola," he said with a smile.
"How do you know my… original name?" the former princess asked, baffled.
"Doesn't matter," Ezio shrugged. "Viola, want to marry m—" He immediately coughed and covered his mouth, embarrassed by his slip-up.
A few seconds of awkward silence passed.
"Viola," he tried again, ignoring his earlier mistake, "Want to join my crew?"
Without hesitation, Viola replied simply, "Sure."
Perona, Hina, and Conis stared, completely dumbfounded.
"See?" Ezio said smugly. "That's the power of two B+ Tier lucky people, and one S-Tier lucky person!"
At that moment, the crew finally understood.
Maybe luck really was the most useful ability to collect in a crew!
Wasn't that exactly why they'd signed up for this weird little circus in the first place?!
Viola, meanwhile, was utterly baffled.
WHY ON EARTH DID I SAY YES TO JOINING THAT CRAZY CREW?!
"Alright, now we have a problem," Ezio sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose like a man who just realized he adopted a sea king as a pet.
"What's the problem?" Conis asked, tilting her head like a confused puppy.
"I just invited the former princess of this entire kingdom into our crew!" Ezio threw his arms in the air. "Don't you people know the first rule of crewing? Never invite a princess. They come with emotional trauma, government-level enemies, and some long-lost sibling who turns out to be evil."
"Excuse me?!" Viola snapped, hands on hips, already regretting every life choice that brought her here.
"Don't 'excuse me' me!" Ezio groaned. "Your baggage is practically a freight train. Doflamingo? The walking mafia flamingo?! He's like a boss battle that never ends. He's the final level before the actual final level!"
Viola crossed her arms. "Okay, fine. He is a psychopath in designer sunglasses. But you knew that when you invited me!"
Perona squinted. "If this guy is such a nightmare, why don't we just… not? We leave the princess here, sail off, and pretend we were never emotionally involved."
"Hina refuses," Hina declared, like some sort of justice-powered anime lawyer. "If this Doflamingo is a criminal, he must be thrown behind bars. Forever. Preferably upside down."
"Should I just do what I did last time?" Conis asked, lightning crackling softly around her shoulders like it was trying to escape.
There was a full beat of silence.
Ezio's soul visibly tried to exit his body. Perona flinched. Hina took a strategic step back.
"No, Conis. Absolutely not," Ezio said quickly, waving his hands like a man defusing a bomb made of rainbows and doom. "This isn't the kind of guy you delete with divine thunder and sparkles. Even if you are a walking natural disaster."