Weeks passed.
Marcus continued to reach out.
Occasionally, he'd send playful messages.
Sometimes, he'd show up at places she frequented.
Always charming.
Always tempting.
But now?
Now Nia saw him for what he was.
A man who thrived on attention.
Who fed off the thrill of keeping women guessing.
And who had no intention of showing up consistently.
She had been down this road before.
Too many times.
And now, she recognized the signs faster than ever.
When a man avoided conversations about commitment.
When he prioritized his freedom above emotional connection.
When he made excuses instead of showing up.
She knew better.
And more importantly—
She *believed* it.
---
**The Signs She Used to Ignore**
Nia sat across from Dr. Gadot during one of their sessions, flipping through an old journal filled with text message screenshots, voice notes, and dated entries chronicling every interaction she'd had with emotionally unavailable men.
She stopped at a page marked "Year 3 – Elijah."
'He said he wanted to be closer. That we should talk more. But when I asked him to open up, he shut down."
She read another entry:
"We talked about moving in together. He agreed. Then he disappeared for three days without explanation. When I finally reached him, he said he needed space."
Another:
"I told him I needed consistency. He said he wasn't built that way."
Dr. Gadot studied her closely. "What do you notice?"
Nia exhaled slowly. "That I ignored the same red flag over and over again."
Dr. Gadot nodded. "Which one?"
"That they all disappeared when things got real."
Dr. Gadot leaned forward. "Exactly. And yet, you kept hoping they would change."
Nia smiled faintly. "Yeah. I did."
Dr. Gadot tilted her head. "Why do you think that was?"
Nia thought for a long moment.
"I guess I believed if I gave enough love, supported them enough, loved them hard enough—that I could make them stay."
Dr. Gadot watched her carefully. "And did that work?"
Nia shook her head. "Never."
Dr. Gadot smiled gently. "Then why keep doing it?"
Nia let the question settle around her like warm air after a long winter.
"I used to think red flags were just minor issues," she admitted. "Like quirks. Like personality traits that could be worked on. But now I see—they weren't red flags."
She paused.
"They were full-blown warnings."
Dr. Gadot nodded. "And now you recognize them."
"I do."
"And what happens when you do?"
Nia looked directly at her therapist.
"I walk away."
Dr. Gadot clapped softly. "That's growth."
Nia grinned. "Yes. It is."
---
**The Red Flags of Marcus**
Later that week, Nia met Lola for brunch.
They were seated at their usual spot—La Dolce Vita, a cozy Italian bistro tucked inside a quiet corner of Brooklyn.
Lola raised an eyebrow as soon as she saw Nia's face.
"He reached out again, didn't he?"
Nia sighed. "How do you always know?"
Lola smirked. "Because you have the same look you get every time Marcus Jackson thinks he can just waltz back into your life like nothing happened."
Nia rolled her eyes but laughed. "You're too good at reading me."
"So?" Lola pressed. "What did he say this time?"
Nia pulled out her phone and scrolled to the message.
"Hey beautiful. Haven't heard from you in a while. Hope you're doing well."
Lola groaned. "Ugh. Classic opener. 'Hope you're doing well.' Translation: I missed your energy but don't want to take responsibility for disappearing."
Nia chuckled. "You're brutal."
"You're lucky I'm not sending him a strongly worded email."
Nia took a sip of her mimosa. "Honestly? I barely even care anymore."
Lola blinked. "Wait, really?"
Nia nodded. "I used to feel something whenever he messaged me. A little rush. A little flutter. Like maybe this time, he'd finally be different."
"But now?"
Nia smiled. "Now I just feel… nothing."
Lola grinned. "Girl, you are officially healed."
Nia laughed. "Not completely. But I am definitely further along than I was."
Lola leaned forward. "Tell me what changed."
Nia set her glass down. "Therapy. Ghostbusters Anonymous. You. Andre."
Lola raised an eyebrow. "Andre?"
Nia blushed slightly. "Yeah. Being with someone who actually shows up has helped me realize how much I settled for people who didn't."
Lola nodded. "Exactly. Because when you experience real love, you stop romanticizing the fake stuff."
Nia smiled. "That's exactly what happened."
---
**A Moment of Temptation**
That night, Nia sat on her balcony, wine in hand, staring at the city skyline.
Her phone buzzed.
It was Marcus.
"Miss our talks. Miss seeing you. Can we catch up sometime?"
She stared at the screen.
Just a few months ago, this message would've sent her heart racing.
Would've made her wonder if he was finally ready to commit.
Would've convinced her to give him another chance.
But now?
Now she saw it for what it was.
A test.
A temptation.
A trap.
She typed back:
"I appreciate the sentiment, Marcus. But I'm done chasing men who disappear when things get real."
She hit send.
And then, she turned off her phone.
For the first time in years, she didn't wait for a response.
She didn't wonder if he'd come back.
She didn't try to interpret hidden meanings or second-guess herself.
She simply walked away.
Without looking back.
---
**Back to Therapy: Recognizing Patterns**
During her next session with Dr. Gadot, Nia arrived with a sense of peace she hadn't felt in years.
"I blocked him," she announced proudly.
Dr. Gadot raised an eyebrow. "Marcus?"
Nia nodded. "Yep. Sent him a final message and cut him off completely."
Dr. Gadot smiled. "That's huge."
Nia grinned. "I know."
"What made you decide to do it?"
Nia considered. "I realized that red flags aren't hard to spot. They're just easy to ignore when desire clouds judgment."
Dr. Gadot leaned forward. "Say more."
Nia exhaled. "I used to think red flags were subtle. That they were hidden behind charm and charisma. That I had to dig to find them."
She shook her head. "But now I see—red flags are everywhere. Inconsistent communication. Disappearing acts. Excuses for absence. Lack of effort. Emotional distance."
Dr. Gadot nodded. "Exactly. And when you start recognizing them early, you save yourself from future pain."
Nia smiled. "I'm starting to believe that."
Dr. Gadot tilted her head. "And how does it feel to finally trust yourself?"
Nia swallowed. "Empowering."
Dr. Gadot smiled. "Good. Because you deserve to feel that."
---
**Flashback: The Red Flag I Ignored**
Suddenly, a memory surfaced—one she hadn't revisited in years.
Darius.
The older man she had dated in her early thirties.
He had swept her off her feet with sophistication, confidence, and charm.
He had taken her to Paris for her 30th birthday.
Had whispered sweet nothings into her ear.
Had promised her the world.
Until she found out he was married.
But it hadn't started with that revelation.
No.
It had started with small inconsistencies.
Late-night calls that suddenly stopped.
Plans that were canceled last minute.
Excuses that never quite lined up.
She had ignored the signs because she was caught up in the illusion.
She had told herself it was just stress.
Or a busy schedule.
Or miscommunication.
Until one day, she saw photos online.
Photos of him with another woman.
With children.
With a ring on his finger.
And suddenly, the red flags she had ignored became flaming billboards.
She remembered sitting alone in her apartment, staring at the ceiling, replaying every conversation.
Every lie.
Every excuse.
And realizing she had known.
Somewhere deep down, she had known.
But she had chosen to believe in the fantasy instead.
And it cost her.
Badly.
---
**Red Flags in Real Time**
Back in the present, Nia sat quietly, absorbing the weight of that memory.
Dr. Gadot watched her carefully.
"You're thinking about Darius, aren't you?"
Nia blinked. "How do you always know?"
Dr. Gadot smiled. "Because I listen. And because healing often surfaces old memories."
Nia nodded. "I used to ignore red flags because I wanted to believe in the fantasy more than reality."
Dr. Gadot leaned forward. "And now?"
Nia met her gaze. "Now I see them clearly. And I walk away before I get too deep."
Dr. Gadot clapped once. "That's progress."
Nia grinned. "It feels like power."
"It is."
---
**The Red Flags of Andre**
That weekend, Nia met Andre for dinner.
They were seated at a candlelit table in a quiet French restaurant overlooking the Hudson River.
He reached across the table and placed his hand over hers.
"You okay?" he asked.
She smiled. "Yeah. Just thinking."
He tilted his head. "About what?"
She hesitated.
Then decided to share.
"I used to date men who ghosted me. Who played games. Who showed up inconsistently and left me wondering if I was the problem."
Andre frowned slightly. "And now?"
Nia looked at him.
"I only date men who show up."
Andre's expression softened.
"Does that mean I passed inspection?"
She laughed. "You've been passing since Day One."
He smiled. "Good. Because I'm not going anywhere."
Nia studied him.
There were no red flags with Andre.
No disappearing acts.
No late-night texts followed by days of silence.
No vague promises.
No emotional withdrawal.
Only presence.
Consistency.
Communication.
Love that showed up daily—not just when it was convenient.
And for the first time in her life, Nia was learning to receive it without questioning whether she deserved it.
---
**Back to Lola: Lessons Learned**
Later that evening, Nia met Lola for drinks.
They were at *Velvet Palate*, their favorite wine bar, sipping Cabernet and laughing at inside jokes only they understood.
"So," Lola said, swirling her glass. "Did you block him?"
Nia smirked. "Already did."
Lola raised her glass. "Damn, girl. You really are evolving."
Nia grinned. "I know."
Lola studied her. "So tell me something."
"Shoot."
"When was the first time you recognized a red flag and walked away?"
Nia thought about it.
"I remember being in my early twenties," she said slowly. "Dating this guy named Jordan. He was a poet. So charming. So sweet. Always wrote me love letters. Showed up unexpectedly. Made me feel like I was living in a movie."
Lola arched a brow. "Let me guess—he vanished."
Nia nodded. "Right after graduation. One day, he was there. The next, he was gone. No explanation. No goodbye."
Lola winced. "Ouch."
Nia shrugged. "At the time, I blamed myself. Thought I had pushed too hard. Wondered if I was too much."
Lola squeezed her hand. "You weren't."
Nia smiled. "I know that now. And I've spent years repeating the same pattern. Chasing men who disappeared. Trying to fix them. Believing I could change them."
She looked at Lola.
"But now? Now I see the red flags before I fall for them."
Lola raised her glass. "To finally seeing clearly."
Nia clinked hers against it.
"To seeing clearly."
---
**Recognizing Red Flags Before They Become Fires**
Over the following weeks, Nia noticed something powerful.
She was beginning to recognize red flags before they became full-blown fires.
A man would cancel plans last-minute with no real reason.
She would decline.
A man would text at midnight after ignoring her all day.
She wouldn't reply.
A man would flirt with other women in front of her.
She would walk away.
She was no longer waiting for the damage to be done before walking away.
She was walking away at the first sign of trouble.
And it felt liberating.
One night, she was at a networking event, speaking to a group of successful Black entrepreneurs.
A man approached—charming, smooth-talking, confident.
He complimented her dress.
Asked for her number.
Told her she was different.
And for a split second, something familiar stirred inside her.
Attraction.
Curiosity.
The pull of possibility.
But then she caught herself.
She looked at him.
Really looked at him.
The way he avoided eye contact when she asked about his personal life.
The way he shifted when she asked about his boundaries.
The way he lingered a little too close.
And she knew.
This was another Marcus.
Another Elijah.
Another Darius.
Another Jordan.
And she was done.
She smiled politely.
"I appreciate the interest," she said. "But I only date men who show up consistently."
And with that, she walked away.
No hesitation.
No regret.
Just clarity.
---
# **Journal Entry: Seeing Clearly**
Later that night, Nia sat at her desk, journal in hand.
She opened it to a blank page and began writing.
Dear Me,
Today, I saw a red flag before it became a wildfire. And I walked away.
I used to chase excitement. Mistook passion for intimacy. Equated charm with commitment.
But now I know better.
I've spent my entire adult life dating emotionally unavailable men. Men who offered attention but withheld affection. Presence but not partnership. Love—but only on their terms.
And now, I'm choosing differently.
I'm learning to recognize red flags faster. To walk away sooner. To protect my peace before it's broken.
I am no longer settling for love that disappears.
I am no longer giving my energy to people who don't show up for me.
I am investing in myself. Prioritizing my needs. Setting boundaries. Saying no.
And most importantly—I am choosing love that lasts.
I am choosing peace. Presence. Partnership.
And I am finally learning to love myself enough to walk away from anything less.
She closed the journal.
Tears welled in her eyes.
But these weren't tears of sadness.
These were tears of release.
Of realization.
Of healing.
---
**Back to Therapy: Rewriting the Script**
During her next session, Nia shared the story of the networking event.
Dr. Gadot listened intently.
"And how did it feel to walk away this time?" she asked.
Nia smiled. "Empowering."
Dr. Gadot nodded. "That's the difference. You're not just avoiding pain—you're claiming your worth."
Nia nodded. "I used to believe I had to earn love. Now I understand that real love doesn't make you earn it. It gives it freely."
Dr. Gadot smiled. "Exactly."
Nia looked at her therapist, heart full.
"I used to think red flags were hard to spot," she said. "Now I realize—they were always screaming at me."
Dr. Gadot leaned forward. "And now you hear them."
Nia nodded. "Now I do."
---
**Final Reflections: The Power of Awareness**
As Nia stood in front of her mirror later that night, she realized something.
She had spent decades falling for men who left her feeling uncertain.
Men who made her question her worth.
Men who treated her like an option rather than a priority.
But now?
Now she saw clearly.
She saw the red flags.
She saw the patterns.
She saw the truth.
And she chose herself.
Every single time.
Because red flags weren't hard to spot.
They were just easy to ignore.
And now?
Now she refused to ignore them.
Now she ran toward peace.
Toward presence.
Toward partnership.
And most of all—
Toward love that stayed.