Oh, how many times my father has told me this exact saying! My father has always urged me to never, ever, put my one-hundred percent trust in anybody except for my blood and God. His words: Never put your trust in anyone as anyone else would sell you out for their benefit whereas your family would shed blood for your benefit. He specifically emphasized to not trust your friends. As his words went: We don't have 'friends', we have relations, someone to go eat with, or to drink with, but never trust. Now, I won't sit here and tell you to never trust someone outside your blood because- If I'm being honest- perhaps it wasn't the fact that trusting people is bad but trusting the wrong people is bad. Now, my father would say everyone has their own self at interest and that is completely correct in a sense however I'am certain that there are some worth of trust. Now, this is in no way me saying that your trust should be given out like candy, rather like almas caviar. Your trust should be something that a person strives for, works for and earns- never gifted. Because nine times out of ten my father is one hundred percent correct yet a part of me still has a soft side towards people- I am not so fixated on not trusting anyone like my father is. Never gift anyone your trust. One part which I totally agree with that my father said is that you should never tell anyone your deepest, darkest secrets. Not even the people you trust one hundred percent. Your deepest, darkest secrets are reserved for you, your family (if you feel comfortable telling them of course), and God himself. My father had many clear examples of him telling someone his secrets and then it ending up badly yet I won't share them here as I would betray my father's trust if I did so. I do believe that my father probably just has horrible friends yet like my father always said, it's better to be safe than sorry.
Another teaching that my father always emphasized, which I am not sure I one-hundred percent agree with, is to never trust your wife. He'd say to never trust her with money specifically but to also never have high expectations. I do see where he's coming from and in some way I do agree as people- not women in specific- tend to get less trustworthy when around money. My dad taught me that the bible says that God gave man woman as a 'helper' and 'companion' not someone to put your entire trust in. He'd quote the following bible verse: "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet for him."
Now, in no way am I saying that women are all untrustworthy, of course not, yet I do still keep to the fact that a woman shouldn't be given your trust as a gift. I had this girlfriend once- for privacy's sake let's call her Fiona. Fiona was an excellent girl and I was in love and I disobeyed my father- I trusted her with my entire life. I ended up discovering some stuff about her that I wish I hadn't and I began to realize why my father told me to never trust someone one hundred percent. It protects you. If you were to be heart-broken or betrayed you'd be less torn up if you didn't trust the person than if you did. I am not saying that we all should instantly assume that women are heart-breaking whores- that's bigoted and misogynistic. I believe my father was trying to tell me to make people, especially women, earn my trust. And that shouldn't sound wrong or bigoted because it's logical. You are worth something, your trust is worth something, your dignity is worth something so why should you ever waste it and give it away? Does an employer give money to the employees if they don't work or do they earn it? My father knew that I was worth something and he didn't want me to disrespect myself by treating my trust like the neighbourhood streetwalker.
I don't mean to bash my father's teachings in this chapter, I am trying to evolve it, to make it grow. My father is completely and utterly correct when he warned me about trusting people, you shouldn't trust anyone except your family. I get that, and I agree with that to an extent. I believe that you should trust some people who actually deserve your trust. I won't go into depth as it will ruin the following chapters yet if someone doesn't deserve your trust, then simply cut them off. There's no point in keeping an employee who doesn't work! My father unfortunately didn't do this and had friends with whom he shared no trust and this ruins a man. To have companions whom you don't trust is detrimental. Now, what do you think I mean by trust? Does trust mean telling someone your secrets, giving someone keys to your heart and expecting them not to rob it, or does it mean to not feel the need to hide anything? It means to not feel the need to hide anything from them. Just because you trust someone doesn't mean you have to tell them your secrets (though you should feel able to) or open your heart (though you should feel able you), you should just feel open with them. You shouldn't feel locked away when speaking with them, or alone even when you're with them. This goes for friends and partners both. I wish my father saw trust the same way yet if it wasn't for his original teaching to be cautious, I would've trusted everyone and anyone and would've ended up severely hurt. So, once again, I am thankful for the fact that my father taught me to trust nobody as it has ended up protecting me from countless amounts of scandals, arguments, fights and heart-breaks. It wasn't enough to protect me from Fiona though as sometimes love just overrides any logic and teaching; love has that quality and it is often lively or deadly, it's what you make it out to be. However, I have come to the conclusion that you should trust perhaps one or two people that aren't your blood as a means to connect with others. These one or two people must work for your trust however. You shouldn't give it away, or throw it away or gift it, they should earn it. They should make it clear to you that you can be yourself around them. They should make it clear to you that they won't sell you out no matter how close they may be to you; after all Judas was one of Jesus' twelve disciples. Besides those trustworthy, hard-working people, you shall not trust anybody with anything as they will find a means to benefit from it. I know for a fact that if someone I wasn't so close to came to me with a secret that they trust me with, I'd find a way to benefit from it. However, if one of my closest friends came to me with that same secret I'd guard it with my heart. For example, Zeke. Zeke is no longer the child he was at nine, he has too evolved into a good person. He is still strong, mighty and whatnot yet his ego has lowered and I don't want to be him anymore. However, he is a great friend. He has been with me since I was a child and I frankly trust him with my life as he has earned it. Since we were kids, he guarded my secrets. Even when we fell out and argued, he was still guarding them and never once benefited from my secrets. Now obviously, he isn't a deity, he has messed up here and there but we grow from mistakes. My father tells me to not trust anyone and I agree with that however you should find it in your heart to trust at least one person outside your blood with your entire heart; as long as they earn it.