Yesterday I met a girl in the park, Jennifer, looking beautiful as always, I've always had a thing for blondes, even though she wasn't a natural blonde, I was still attracted to her. She didn't meet the beauty standards of other guys but I didn't care. "Beauty lies in the hands of the beholder" they said, or was it the eyes? Either ways she was gonna be mine... Whether she liked it or not.
I remember that day very well. I woke up in my new bed, fluffy, cold, white as snow- maybe because it was snow. I had once again survived sleeping drunk in the streets during winter. I don't usually tell people this but I think I'm celestial. I know you'd think I'm delusional or that I belong in the psych ward but it's true and it's not just because I should've died of hypothermia a long time ago but also the fact that I'm blessed. I don't have a job but somehow I always find a way to get my two favorite food; drugs and alcohol. Plus the amount of times I've overdosed and tried to kill myself is overwhelming...20 times and I'm still alive. Either I'm god or god sent.
Anyways, that day I waited for my landlord to leave my apartment so I could get back in. That man is an asshole, every month he gives me an eviction notice like he doesn't know someone like me is supposed to have his own mansion. When it's the end of the world and I'm saving everyone, I'll make sure he suffers in the pits of hell. I don't really have enough running water to take a shower or brush my teeth so I just wash my face. I wish I still had my job, I used to work for a chocolate factory but you enter the chocolate vat one time and show your dick to everyone and suddenly you're not stable for a work environment. I didn't really like that job anyways. I wanted to be a willy Wonka but I ended an oompa loompa.
I didn't have anything to eat so I decided to go check out my favorite restaurant. They always leave leftovers in the dumpster at the back. That day, I decided to go to follow the park route. I always take that way because you get to see the women in their tight yoga outfits...and then I saw her, the love of my life, Jennifer.