"Who are you?" Alex had asked himself the question many times in the past. All leading to the same conclusion. "I haven't had the chance to figure that out yet."
He took a step back from the broken mirror, making different expressions to himself just to know how he'd come across. That's Creepy. Ugh, ugly. I wouldn't trust him. His thoughts punched him in the gut, dismissing the courage he might've had. Life for Alex had been nothing short of a struggle since the day his best friend Rory passed. He was the only family he knew, and to see that light that had been guiding him for years; fade away day by day was hell for the both of them. It was cancer that ended up taking him out
"I'm going to fuck this up," he said to himself, whole-heartedly believing it. With a frown on his face, his confidence diminished to a pair of patched jeans. He adjusts his jacket and leaves the sterile bathroom, his knuckles bright red.
Alex slowly opened the door to Rose's room, his heart pounding in his chest. Is this the right choice? He thought. A cowardly one that he hated to ask, but a valid one. The second he stepped into that room, his life would change drastically before it even started.
Taking a fresh breath of air, he opened the door to see the bundle of nurses crowded around Rose's bed, comforting her. A curtain was the only thing separating these two from an entirely different world. It hurt him to be in a room like this so soon, but at the same time, it gave a place like this new meaning.
One of the nurses peaked their head from around the curtain, seeing Alex and recognising him immediately. She rushed to his side, her hair tied back into a messy bun. She welcomed him into the room with a pat on the back and a calm tone to ease his anxiety.
"Rose went into labor around 4 hours ago. Your daughter's head is just beginning to peek out."
"Is that good news?" Alex asked fearfully.
"Not necessarily." She whispered to him. "Normally the head would show around hour 8."
"Oh god," he put a hand over his forehead as a bead of sweat dripped down his temple. His heart beated rapidly thinking of what could happen. He imagined his daughter forever cursed to live with a struggle worse than his. "I need to be with her- can I be with her?" He stepped forward trying to reach Rose beyond the curtain. The nurse put a hand on his chest keeping him from crossing.
"Before you go, know that it will be… a lot. Some people are queasy when it comes to blood-"
"Alex?" Rose called from the otherside, her voice shaky. Alex's hand curled into a fist.
"I don't care, let me in," he stated, opening the curtain to see Rose on her hospital bed gripping another nurse's hand for support. The veins in her neck strained as tears streamed down her cheek, but when she saw Alex, a smile somehow found its way on her face. He'd never seen her more beautiful. The nurse who welcomed him grabbed a gown and gloves for him to wear and tightly wrapped him up.
"I didn't think you would come-" she made out through pained breaths.
"I made you a promise didn't I?" Alex said with a smile coming to her side, trying his damnedest not to break out in a full panic attack. Rose laughed back as Alex took her hand from the nurse.
"Yeah, you did." she gripped his hand tighter and gritted her teeth.
It was only another 30 minutes before their child was born. 12am on the dot. Not everyone was born at the very start of a new day. The doctors were in uproar, rushing to run tests and check vitals to make sure everything about their daughter was healthy. A birth like this was unheard of in such a small town.
Alex would tell her, "she shot out eager to see the world."
Rose's face shone brightly while holding their daughter. It was a sight that Alex would never forget. She was happy the pain was over, but elated that she brought such a beautiful thing into the world. So proud of what her daughter might become in the future. Her eyes gleamed with hope thinking of all the good their child would do for the world. She promised herself to keep her beautiful baby from making the same mistakes as her. She promised that she would always be there for her, no matter how bad things looked. Rose kissed her daughter's head swearing to never let her daughter feel that fear.
Alex watched in astonishment. Unable to believe that the small little girl in Rose's arms was a life. A life he'd be in charge of raising and shaping. He'd be taking on such a responsibility before he'd even graduated, but in that moment, he only needed to be happy. Happy for his daughter. For the woman he'd spend the rest of his life with. For his new family- For his only family. He held onto Rose's hand tightly, hesitantly reaching over with his other hand to touch his newborn, but something stopped him.
He was happy for the new chance at life he'd been given, but all he could think about was how badly he'd fuck it up: About how things would take a turn for the worst and he would leave her orphaned and she'd turn out just like him. A screw up, barely living paycheck to paycheck.
Suddenly Rose let go of Alex and pushed his hand onto their daughter. The breath he didn't realize he'd been holding in, finally released. It didn't matter what he feared, what mattered was that he was there for her- for both of them. What mattered was that he was important and providing for their lives. That's what a family does. That's what a father would do. A smile grew when he thought of that. A joy that he couldn't seem to shake. Had he been excited?
A tear fell from the corner of his eye. He had never known something so beautiful could come into the world. He had never known this feeling until now. Love.
He looked at Rose and said with a wide grin, "What should we name her?". Rose closed her eyes.
"I've been thinking about naming her after my grandma. Primrose."
"Yeah?" He said, unable to keep his eyes off of their daughter."I like that name. Our little flower."
"Ew" she laughed, making fun of Alex. He joined her in the laughter. Nothing could take him away from this moment. He wished it was always this pleasant. She lightly held his arm looking into his eyes, "I'm glad it was you." she said. Those words would hit him more than she would ever know.
"Stop getting all sappy on me. You'll make me cry more than I have already." he laughed at himself. They shared a moment of silence together, thinking about the life they were going to lead from this moment on. "I promise to raise a bundle of joy. She'll brighten our lives just as much as she's changed it. She'll be as smart as Einstein and she'll cure cancer." he smiled at how ridiculous it all sounded coming out of his mouth, but despite that, he believed it. "She's going to change the world, Rose, and we're gonna get her there." he grabbed Rose's hand once again looking at her, her eyes glued shut. He squeezed tightly, but she didn't respond.
"Rose?"