The medical room was filled with a nervous excitment. Terra and Raven were ecstatic as they heard the first sign of life from the green shapeshifter laying in front of them.
"Beastboy?!" Raven said unable to contian her excitement. She jumped out of her chair leaning over the bed gazing down at Beastboy's face, "can you hear me?!"
Terra had also jumped out of her seat but was unsure what to say to him and remained silent leaning over the opposite side of the bed.
Beastboy moaned with pain as his eyes slowly began to open with strength. He lay on his back looking up. His vision was blurred but as they started to gain focus he realized he was looking up at the two beautiful faces of his favorite girls staring down at at him.
He looked from one girl to the other a few times. Seeing both of them in the same room seemed like an impossible feat.
"Oh crud..." Beastboy said weakly, "I knew it..."
The girls looked at him with concern as if he wasnt making any sense.
"I knew it..." he repeat himself, "I'm dead," Beastboy said with a sense of humor.
Both of the girls laughed at his confusion. They had tears of joy in their eyes as they both looked down at him with a grin from ear to ear.
"Wait..." Beastboy said even more concerned. He lifted his head off the pillow towards Raven, "Raven... Did you just... Laugh? At my joke? Oh no... I really am dead!" Beastboy groaned as pain shot through his body.
"Calm down you idiot," Raven smiled as she tried to conceal her laughter, "you shouldn't be making any jokes in your condition."
Beastboy relaxed and laid his head back down. He looked over at Terra who was still giggling at the second joke Beastboy made.
"Terra...You're ok!" Beastboy said happily.
"Thanks to you," Terra said returning the happiness, "I can't thank you..." She looked at Raven, "all of you... enough."
Raven looked at Terra with a smile accepting the gratitude. She looked back at Beastboy to see him staring at Terra. It was a look Raven wished she could have. A look of desire. A look of compassion. His eyes were gentle and soothing as if hugging someone with his gaze.
Terra was looking at Beastboy as well with the same look in her eyes. It was clear to Raven there was still something there and her heart sank. She was filled with a feeling of discomfort and began feel unwelcome in the room.
"I'll... give you two a chance to speak alone," Raven said looking for an excuse to leave. She was exhausted. She had spent all night at his side and now that he was awake, he was staring at Terra and it hurt her. She felt she should try to get some sleep. However, she knew sleeping would be even harder after seeing what she just saw.
Beastboy looked at Raven and could see the pain on her face as she began to turn and head for the exit. His aches and pains vanished and a non-physical pain filled their place that was more excruciating than all his wounds combined.
"Raven," he struggled to sit up on an elbow as he called out to her while the door slid open in front of her, "wait..."
"It's fine Beastboy," Raven lied as she looked over her shoulder, "you two deserve a conversation after all this," she sounded sincere and caring like she really believed that. However, she wasn't ok. Far from it. But she meant it when she said they deserved a conversation together.
"But..." Beastboy didn't get to finish as the door shut behind her. His face held an expression of bafflement. He didn't understand why she would act like that, let alone be there when he woke up. He was beginning to wonder what her actions meant and why he was becoming so concerned about her.
Terra could see Raven was not ok. She left in a hurry right after Beastboy woke up which made no sense to her. She sat back down and looked back to Beastboy who also didn't understand what just happened.
"Is she... ok?" Terra asked seeing the concern in Beastboys eyes.
Beastboy remained silent and didn't answer that question as he stared at the door. His mind was clouded with questions and no answers. Helping him in the diner, finding him at the carnival, and now being there when he woke up. This was nothing like the Raven he knew. After a moment of pondering he looked at Terra and let a small smile appear on his face. However, his eyes expressed a completely different emotion than his smile presented.
Terra and Beastboy sat quietly and Beastboy adjusted the angle of his bed so he could sit up comfortably. It was painful at first but quickly became bearable. The silence continued until Terra decided to speak up breaking the awkward silence.
"So... how are you feeling?" She asked.
"Well..." Beastboy said thinking about that question, "I feel like I ran 1,000 marathons in a row. My whole body hurts whenever I move."
Terra knew what he meant. After watching his body shake with Termors when that collar was on his neck, she could tell his whole body and all of his muscles were flexing past their limit all at once. After something like that your muscles would be more than sore. They'd be in a surreal amount of pain.
"Other than that... I'm great!" He laughed. But it was obvious he wasn't being honest. Something else was deeply bothering him and Terra felt she knew what it was.
The images of Raven holding his hand to her forehead flashed in her mind. It was a faint memory just before she lost consciousness but it was clear enough to know it really happened.
"Beastboy?" Terra began to ask, "back when... Back before I... Were we..." She struggled to even finish her sentence. She feared what the answer could be.
"We were friends," Beastboy said thinking he knew what she was asking. It was the last question he remembered her saying before he stormed out of the room when Terra visit the Tower late at night, "you were a Titan. You were friends with all of us."
"That's not..." Terra began. Beastboy's face grew curious, "I mean..." Terra couldn't bring herself to ask the full question and decided not to finish. She smiled and looked at him trying to relax, "oh nevermind," she chuckled, "you don't need to worry about this. Right now you should worry about you."
"Terra," Beastboy insisted finally figuring out what she was asking, "if you're referring to us," he looked down at his hands folded in his lap. He knew the truth but the turth hurt more than his injuries, "no... We weren't."
Terra's heart stopped in her chest. The answer she feared so much surfaced and now she felt like everything she did was the cause of it.
"Then why?" She asked as her emotions began to boil over, "why would you risk your life for me?!" She raised her voice almost shouting. She was angry he would do this if he really didn't care about her the way she thought, "if you really don't feel that way about me then why?!"
Beastboy looked at her and smiled understanding what she meant, "I did feel that way about you Terra," he said softly trying to ease her emotions, "it's just..." He trailed off thinking carefully about what he said next, "it's just... You didn't feel the same way about me."
Terra eyes widened a little as she began to understand what was going on. She knew something happened between them but she never had any kind of confirmation of what exactly happened. But that one sentence was all she needed to hear. The answers were clear as day, plain and simple... She broke his heart.
"Well..." Terra started again, "what if... I do?" Terra wasn't denying her emotions for Beastboy. She knew he cared more about her than anything. Why else would he go through all of this? She would never forgive herself if she gave up someone like that.
Beastboy stared down at his hands. His face was expressionless like he didn't know how to answer that. The energy in the room was disturbing.
Terra saw this and after a moment of silence she already knew the answer and began to panic, "forget I asked that," she said trying to avoid hearing the answer herself.
"No," Beastboy said keeping on the subject. He continued to look down at his hands but he wanted to answer her, "I don't think I'll ever lose the feelings i had for you, Terra. But like you said... Things change, and you're not the girl I want you to be," he looked up at her with a broken heart on his face, "you have a new life now. You have a family and friends. It's a good life. It's just... not a life I can live with you."
Terra's heart shattered but she knew he was right. Even now when he had gone through hell and back, he was still looking out for her. Even when it wasn't in his own interests.
She looked down at her hands in her lap and tried to change the subject, "she's a lucky girl," she said earnestly, "I don't think she knows just how lucky she is to have you."
Beastboy looked at her with a raised eyebrow, "huh?" He asked softly, "who?"
Terra looked up at Beastboy to see his confusion was genuine. He really had no idea that Raven was falling for him. It made Terra feel a little better but she couldn't deny that it was clear as day to her... He also had feelings for her but he just didn't know it yet.
Terra chuckled at how cute this situation was. Maybe she couldn't have Beastboy but she was completely fine with keeping him as a close friend.
Dodging Beastboy's question she changed the subject once more, "well I still wouldn't mind grabbing a pizza now and then," she smiled at him offering some middle ground.
Beastboy returned the smile and nod his head forgetting what Terra just said completely, "as long as it's vegetarian, you got a deal." He said enthusiastically.
Raven made her way into the living area where the Titans were still sitting around an uneaten plate of pancakes. They were cold by now and the stack of butter was nothing but a melted stream across the golden brown cakes.
The team looked at Raven with a look of shock that she had finally left the medical room. Their faces were gripped with concern seeing her face had a look of heightened sadness.
She put their minds at ease and smiled to tell then the good news, "he's awake."
The Titans all rose to their feet with excitement ready to rush to the medical room to greet him but Raven raised her hands slightly telling them to slow down.
"I-I gave him and Terra a moment to speak alone," she said clarifying, "let's give them a second."
The team stopped in their tracks and looked at Raven with concern yet again. Only this time it was more concern for her than it was for their friend in the Medical room.
Robin spoke up trying to understand, "are you..."
"Ok?" Cyborg finished for him.
Raven looked from Titan to Titan seeing how concerned they were for her well being even after one of their best friends had nearly perished the previous night. It was obvious they all knew how she felt about Beastboy and they could see she was struggling with the emotional battle she was facing after she left him alone to speak with Terra. It filled her heart with gratitude. An overwhelimg amount of thanks for their concern. She knew now she wasn't alone in this battle. Her friend's were there for her and they wanted to help.
She closed her eyes as she felt them gloss over and she began to tremble where she stood. Raven let out faint whisper over her lips in response to their question.
"No," she answered honestly with a shakey voice.
"Friend," Starfire began as she floated to where Raven stood, "as joyous as it is to hear of Beastboy's return to health, we are deeply saddened for you," she wrapped her arms around Raven embracing her completely. The others walked up and stood behind Starfire to also show their support, "you need only ask and we will be there to assist you."
The others nod their heads in agreement from behind Starfire. Raven felt an enormous amount of comfort filling the room. She slowly wrapped her arms around Starfire and let herself lightly weep into her shoulder. The pain she felt for this whole situation was intense. First she almost lost him. All of him. Everything he was almost vanished right in front of her eye. She literally watched his heart stop.
Then when he woke up, after staying by his side all night, he looked at Terra the way she was longing to be looked at. As his friend she couldn't tell him how he should feel. Let alone tell him how she felt. The fear of rejection, the fear of losing him as a friend, the fear of losing him completely... it was too much to keep buried deep down anymore and it came pouring out of her.
The Titans sat in silence except for the sound of Raven's soft sobs. They didn't know what else to say to help. But then the silence vanished as the Tower bellowed with a loud ring. Someone was at the door...