"Would you rather be what she wanted without considering what her beloved son desires?" His voice vibrates with raw energy when he speaks.
"I helped you despite the fact that I probably won't have you in my band forever. Yes I told her everything—how her baby boy's been lying to her... How he's been managing his pathetic little time doing both school and acting. I deserve a little credit, don't I, Sein?"
How does he know what mom calls me? Instead of being the one giving him a piece of my mind—he's being the one doing it.
"____" I only stare at him trying to figure out what to say. My mouth feels so dry.
"Exactly—you have nothing to say. You can only be the pathetic embodiment of obedience; The good son. Atleast I know what I want and I chose what I want." His obsessed amber gaze burns my facade completely.
What do I want..? What do I want from you Damien? Can I...can I really want... you?
Ever since that kiss happened I haven't been able to get him out of my damn head. He's like that stubborn leech sucking my blood and I'm searching pleasure in it.
It's annoying! So damn annoying. Everytime he forces his ways on me and I feel helpless...tamed...
My heart wrenches in some weird pathetic romance novel kind of way. Even my dreams refuse to offer me peace. I hate you. I hate you for making me feel like this Damien—so much that I want to kill this feeling—want to kill you.
"Hey what's wrong?" Damien asks, looking startled when I flinched and moved away from him. My stomach lurches at the very thought of...
"Saint..." His voice rings out softer this time.
I raise my arm in defense. "Leave me alone."
Zeb comes along with that previous girl he was talking to. "What came over him all of a sudden?"
"Let him be Damien." Chris advises. Damien keeps staring at my sudden change of demeanor.
I hurry out of the place.
••••
What if he doesn't think the same? It's just my stupid imagination... nothing else. Damien Frost can't be serious for a single second in his life—not with anyone, except Music. Then why? Why he... What's happening to me? Saint Angel's cold exterior has melted!? It's dreadful.
The competition is in five days. How will I face him now that I know...
But I also don't know what exactly is this thread of feelings?
I've been confining myself in my house since that day. Chris came yesterday but I didn't invite him in my room. We chatted through text messages. Mika reached out as well but... I need some time... Until I figure out what's happening to me—I don't want to face anybody.
••••
Another day passes. When I come back late after filming, mom greets me with a peaceful smile. I'm very late today.
"Mom you seem so happy. Did something happen?"
"No? But..." She takes her time buliding suspense.
"Tell me!! Please."
"Today I've made every single dish you love."
"What's the occasion?" I ask. Usually she either dozes off at the dinner table or waits for me so we eat together despite my countless times of telling her not to wait everyday.
As the minute hand hits 12 she removes one of the lid from a plate revealing a delicious looking blueberry cake.
"Happy Birthday to you, my not so baby boy." She lights up the candles.
Damn... How did I forget my own birthday?
Everything is his fault.
I take a bite of the cake after cutting it. "Mom it tastes so good."
She winks gleefully at me. "I've been practicing the recipe for some time now. I'm so happy it turned out perfectly."
As we start eating she asks again, "Honey, are you good...for real? I mean... I've noticed you. You seem overworked these days."
"Hm... The movie, upcoming fanfare... Everything's... You know the schedule is tight. But don't you worry. I'll survive."
After we're done eating she collects the dishes from the table. She has become slimmer.
"Hey mom..."
"Yes?"
"Let me do the dishes." I insist.
She shakes her head intensely. "You already came late. Go to bed already. Tomorrow is the last day before the competition right?"
Shit! It completely slipped off my head.
She takes a deep breath then slowly speaks. "I know you want to pursue acting as a career but that doesn't mean you'll have to ignore the last days of your university. M.H academy will face some huge changes this year Sein."
The way she says it carries a certain depth that I can't unnotice.
"You studied there didn't you? What really happened mom?"
Her eyes shimmer with mild surprise as if she already guessed it but didn't expect me to ask that right away. She nods with a nostalgic look in her eyes.
"It was my last year too. Dad—your grandpa passed away. Things were difficult as it has always been..."
It makes sense now—why she wanted me to choose Music. So that was the year she married dad.
"Sein...honey," she whispers seeing me contemplating. "You didn't answer me that day."
Right. I didn't. So I remained silent that day as I am today.
"Can you promise me to live freely? To not make the same mistake I did... My little angel... I'm sorry that I never asked about your feelings. But from now...you'll follow your heart and not be trampled by obstacles while striving for your dream— cause obstacles will always come Sein."
"You will be there to cheer me, won't you?" I ask burying my face into her as she wraps me in a long missed embrace.
"Why does it feel like you won't? Mom... You're making me scared."
She laughs out heartily and I fail to grip any suppressed suffering or sorrow in there.
"Of course I will silly. Now go to sleep. I want you to achieve success. I want you to make M.H proud."
Serena Angel was a devoted student of Mozart's Heart Academy and she was selected for the competition. But she couldn't—didn't perform. That was the day her father died.
••••
In the class I try to avoid Damien as vaguely as I can but it is the final day of practice after all—for us as well as for the cheerleaders.
I didn't realise when Maia came to stand beside me.
"Tired?"
"Not yet."
"Hey Saint—" Todd calls for me. "Join again in five minutes."
*Grrr...* "Perhaps I'd like to take my word back."
She chuckles cordially. Ever since that library incident with Damien—Maia has stopped following me around. We've kinda become friends. She's the second girl after Donna who's become my friend. I won't be surprised if someday she says that she's also a shipper. These things are crazy.
"Hey Maia—"
"Yes?"
"Do you know where Chris went? I saw him leaving 15 minutes ago. He's not back yet. His phone's busy too."
"Uh no. No idea."
"Alright. No problem."
As we continue for the fifth time Damien stops us.
"More higher Saint," he instructs me. "And a bit low in the end."
"I know," I say feeling a bit unsettled.
"Then why it's not how it should be like?" Zeb objects. "Where's your mind?"
"It is where it should be you thoughtless moron." But he's kinda right though. Somehow my mind is wavering. It's my birthday today and I'm practicing for—
I check the time. Two hours since I arrived. It feels a bit childish thinking no-one knows about it and Chris too forgetting it pisses me off.
"Then do it right dammit!" Zeb fumes. "It's the last day. After that we gotta give rest to our throats too. The day after tomorrow. Ugh... just thinking about it makes me nervous."
"Ah don't be so hard on him," Mika rebukes Zeb. "He's doing his best already."
Atleast someone sees it.
"Then tell him to do it right," Zeb orders frustratingly.
"I'm not slacking around can't you see?!" I protest in fury. "After this I have shooting too. Do you think I'm a machine?"
"Just cooperate until it's over for god's sake Saint. Then you can leave as you wish. Just don't mess it up." Todd adds fuel to my rage.
Just when I'm about to lose it Damien's phone rings. "Wait a minute guys." He exits.
Ten minutes pass. Still no sign of him.
"Lemme go check where he left." Mika gets up then checks his phone. He looks at me suspiciously then whispers something in Zeb's ear.
They all tell me to wait before going to look for Damien.
The hell?! Where are they? It's been 30 minutes. They aren't kidnapped are they? Who was lecturing about giving it our all a while ago?
Suddenly all the lights go off. Power cut? At this time of the day?
Suddenly the door opens and the lights turn on back again.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU SAINT!!!" Chris and Damien and others sings out loudly.
Donna's here too. So is Maia. They burst the party buster. Chris is holding a strawberry cake. Birthday celebration in class...huh.
"Quite a surprise you've given me," I snicker. "Any more late and I was going to report a complaint of missing kids."
Todd rolls his eyes. "Don't be a killjoy Saint Angel. It was your best friend's idea. Boss simply wanted us to join so..."
Everyone in room 23 sings birthday to me. They surround me like I'm someone famous.
Chris roves his eyes over the crown and says, "I should have ordered bigger than this."
I've never felt this strange bubbled up feeling. I feel happy...in this moment.
"Everyone—" I address. "Order whatever you want to have besides this cake. It's my best friend's treat." I say smirking at Chris.
"Hey! Not fair." Chris pouts.
We all end up laughing.
So they went to get that cake huh...
The practice finally comes to an end. It's nearly afternoon and I'm hungry.
Damien puts his guitar inside the case then comes to me. "You were good you know. I think you'll be just fine. There's nothing to fret about."
I find Mika and Todd smiling at each other. Ugh... I bet they want us to patch up badly.
"Thanks to you too... For you know... today..." I stammer.
He smirks. "Don't look so reluctant while saying something so simple."
It's simple to him?
"I don't thanks anybody every single time they do something simple for me."
"I don't think so. Everything turned out just fine because I intervened at the right time."
I realise his implication of the matter that he confronted mom and told her everything.
"I didn't ask for your help Damien."
"What do you want me to do then hm?" He mutters softly.
I pick up hints of challenge and invitation in his smooth voice. I hold his gaze taking a step towards him. I've had enough of his—teasings. I owe him many times.
His body tenses as I keep holding his gaze. My eyes drift lower to his lips. Suddenly someone while passing by us shoves us accidentally. I could trip and fall but his arms instinctively snakes around my waist. Even though he prevents my fall he couldn't prevent his own. I land on top of him. My head now near his heart—his intoxicating woody musk invades into my sense of smell and it arouses a crude wicked feeling deep in my heart. I raise my upper body a little, aiming towards his face.
He flinches when my lips slowly move against his Adam's apple. I suck the warm skin tasting his essence.
"Thank you for everything...Damien."
The vague feather of a kiss on his throat wakes something beast-like in him. He gets up looking at me like he'd do unspeakable things to me.
Oh no... Someone's approaching. Suddenly Damien stands up brushing off his shirt.
Perhaps now I'm certain of my feelings.