Ellen, you’ve always said ‘be kind,’ but let’s be honest—kindness isn’t always a choice, especially when life decides to dump on you. Your show gets canceled and suddenly you’re off to England, like kindness is easier with an accent and a cup of tea. But hey, you’ve never been afraid to make bold choices—except maybe with your sexuality. Was it really a choice, Ellen, or were you just finally sick of men’s b*******? Because honestly, while you were throwing a tantrum on set, I could’ve used some r e a l help, not just r e e l help. Next time, save the drama for the cameras and bring the kindness to real life, yeah? I mean, is your name DeGeneres or DeJerk?

And let’s talk about your ‘helping’—everybody you helped had to be run through the CIA first! Be honest, Ellen: did you skip helping some people because the CIA said you shouldn’t, or because you couldn’t remember if you were hosting a talk show or running a background check? At this point, it’s easier to get into the Pentagon than to get a hug from Ellen!

But hey, hosting a Big Chill like that, you must know what being syndicated really means—because after all the drama, it looks like your kindness is the only thing still in reruns. And I mean for the viewer, not for you.

So how can you know something like that—how the business really works—and still throw a tantrum every time stuff doesn’t go your way? Ellen, with all that experience, you should know: if you want a happy ending, you’ve got to be kind all the way to the credits!

And you know what? I challenge you to actually take your own advice for once—help somebody in actual need. Like me, this time. Because it’s not money I need—I need someone to actually give a s***.

so I'm callin BS on your BS, respect fu LL y ©F course! how to be not a dick 101

I'm Calling B******* on Cartel and Gang "Legends"


Let's get real: every cartel and gang wants to be the next Netflix special. Sinaloa Cartel? You're the Walmart of crime—everywhere, but the quality's gone way down. CJNG, you act like you invented violence just because you've got a cool logo. Tijuana Cartel, you used to be legends; now you're just a cautionary tale. Juarez? You're that relative who keeps coming back after rehab—nobody trusts you, but you're always at the party. Cali and Medellin, you're the grandpas of the game—still talking about the "good old days," but now you're just memes on Facebook. MS-13? More tattoos than brain cells. Bloods and Crips? You're basically the Pepsi and Coke of street beef—same flavor, different color. Tren de Aragua? Sounds like a trainwreck nobody wants to board.


Cartel "unity"? Please. Every so-called unity meeting ends in a shootout. The only thing you all agree on is who gets the last taco. And let's be honest, the only time you actually help the community is when you're hiding behind it.


I'm calling b*******. If you want to be legends, try doing something worth remembering—besides making the news for all the wrong reasons.


If Jim Parsons sang this version on The Big Bang Theory, Sheldon would probably say, "Penny, I asked for comfort, not a federal investigation!"


My cartel cat was prowling by the border wall,


Kept watch so long, poor kitty took a fall-


My cartel cat was hiding in a secret flat,


Waited so long, poor kitty got trapped-


My cartel cat was running from the DEA,


My cartel cat was counting all the cash,


Stacked so high, poor kitty made a dash-


My neighbor saw my kitty with a bag of snow,


I said to my neighbor, "Let my kitty go!"


Bumped, trapped, lost, rich, free kitty…


To tag Jim Parsons, use his official Instagram: [@therealjimparsons].


Chapter 13 - this is b******* and I'm calling it pssf with a heart around it