Ellen, you’ve always said ‘be kind,’ but let’s be honest—kindness isn’t always a choice, especially when life decides to dump on you. Your show gets canceled and suddenly you’re off to England, like kindness is easier with an accent and a cup of tea. But hey, you’ve never been afraid to make bold choices—except maybe with your sexuality. Was it really a choice, Ellen, or were you just finally sick of men’s b*******? Because honestly, while you were throwing a tantrum on set, I could’ve used some r e a l help, not just r e e l help. Next time, save the drama for the cameras and bring the kindness to real life, yeah? I mean, is your name DeGeneres or DeJerk?

And let’s talk about your ‘helping’—everybody you helped had to be run through the CIA first! Be honest, Ellen: did you skip helping some people because the CIA said you shouldn’t, or because you couldn’t remember if you were hosting a talk show or running a background check? At this point, it’s easier to get into the Pentagon than to get a hug from Ellen!

But hey, hosting a Big Chill like that, you must know what being syndicated really means—because after all the drama, it looks like your kindness is the only thing still in reruns. And I mean for the viewer, not for you.

So how can you know something like that—how the business really works—and still throw a tantrum every time stuff doesn’t go your way? Ellen, with all that experience, you should know: if you want a happy ending, you’ve got to be kind all the way to the credits!

And you know what? I challenge you to actually take your own advice for once—help somebody in actual need. Like me, this time. Because it’s not money I need—I need someone to actually give a s***.

so I'm callin BS on your BS, respect fu LL y ©F course! how to be not a dick 101

And then have the nerve to continue to make your wish!


You ever notice how some people complain about everything—climate change, poverty, the price of eggs—but the second someone with actual credentials and proof shows up, suddenly they're all, "Nah, that can't be true!"


It's like, "Hey, I've got clearance, I've got evidence, your government's not your friend, and they're literally blinding you to what's happening right in front of your face."


And their response? "No way, that technology doesn't exist!"


Yeah, right. These are the same people who'll watch Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson climb a 100-story tower in a movie and be like, "Wow, that's so realistic!"


But when it comes to reality? "Nope, can't be done. Science fiction!"


Maybe if the government put a green screen and some CGI explosions on their evil plans, you'd finally believe it.


Or maybe, before you whine about wine change or poverty, you should try climbing down from your own tower of denial.


Because if you think Hollywood is more believable than hard evidence, the only thing you're qualified to climb is the ladder of gullibility.


Seriously, get some common sense—before they start charging you rent to live in your own fantasy world.


Cheer for the "Ignorance is Bliss" Squad (with BK Lounge shoutout)


Pretend they're gone—like they're not there!


For the hit head yell through at me in the BK crowd!


So wave your hands, block out the facts,


Because if we don't look or listen tight,


Everything's fine—yeah, that's our fight!


This adds a personal, punchy shoutout that fits right into the rhythm and vibe. Let me know if you want it more casual or more theatrical!


Chapter 25 - 721 well you worried about my b*******