I think I have come to hate this dream as time passed. It could also be called a nightmare yet it still is important to me.
I always hated my place in this world. Everyone around me is so tall, like a titan and they rarely acknowledge me same goes for me too. I can see yet am unable to remember their faces or their manners, not that they talk to me a lot.
Every time I went out I felt like I was alone in a world of titans. Dark figures moved around and went about their lives as I took my steps, even the man I called father was a titan. I am still denying yet a voice inside me knows the reason, he never saw me the way I saw him.
It all started when I was around seven and found myself on the streets after father told me that I should go out and socialize and that it is fine as long as I don't enter the slums or anywhere dangerous. I was fine with this and got my first secret friend this way.
I was roaming the streets with no purpose when I felt something tingling my spine, a weird feeling yet I couldn't just hold back and ignore it. I turned back and saw someone under a wall. He had his hat on the ground it was obvious he was asking for money. He didn't seem like he was a part of this world, ignored by all those titans just like me.
I don't know what came to me at that moment, my body moved on it's own as I sat next to the old man. His face looked like...I don't really know. As time passed his face became a far memory, my secret friend I am sorry I have forgotten you. I still remember you every now and then and find myself crying, lamenting for all that has been taken from me. I should have died that day not you.
As I set next to him the silence continued until the moment he woke up from his daydream and looked at me all shocked.
"You...you shouldn't be sitting here."
His voice was low, tired, broken, shattered. The voice was that of someone that life gave up on.
"Why? Did you buy the street old man?"
"It is not that. Would your parents want you to sit next to an old beggar?"
"I don't think so but they are dead so they can't. Today is so boring right grandpa? Don't you have a good story to share?"
The man stayed silent for a while, I don't blame him for not talking to a weird kid like me but I think he realized I wasn't going to leave without one.
"Before all this...I mean before becoming no more than a beggar I was a sailor. I saw many places and one day I ate raw meat when we were docked at Ruya."
Ruya was what some called the lower continent yet logically it is supposed to be called the middle continent at least that is how it is in my eyes.
"How did it taste like? Did they serve it just like that?"
The man must have thought all types of things, maybe surprised by how I just believed it, maybe weirded out from my excitement yet he continued maybe because of the fact that someone dropped him some copper or because he saw something inside me.
"They serve it alongside very thing sauces. The smell of spice covers the streets and they burn both your tongue and nose at the same time. You take a piece of meat with your hands and dip it in the sauce before swallowing."
"Ohhhh and? What did you eat other than that grandpa?"
"Well...if you come tomorrow I might tell you more now I have things to do."
He just wanted to send me off. No kid just goes out every day for no literal reason as long as they aren't poor enough that they have to work outside every day. I already knew this yet I also knew that I could visit him every day. It was one of the happiest moments of my life, no one could ever relate to my feeling when I heard that. My childish mind thought he wanted to talk to me every day. No one will understand how much I love you.
"Yes grandpa I will be here tomorrow I promise!"
Next day I stole some coins from the donations box. It was just a few copper nothing more. I asked father if I could leave again and he said yes with a huge smile. He is a nice man yet I wish he understood me for once.
"I got you some olive bread grandpa."
"You are back?"
"Of course grandpa after all you and me are same."
"Same? What are you talking about kid? I am just a crippled old man how can we have anything similar?"
I know it is hard for people to understand the invisible bond between us yet it is there. I can see it in his eyes, he is tired of observing as well.
"When was the last time someone talked to you without pity? Don't you feel like you are no more than an object in this world?"
He didn't answer but I knew what he felt from his eyes. Those eyes filled with pain called for me, pulling me closer into an abyss I had to fill.
"Would you like to be my secret friend mister? I have only one secret friend other than you. Life is too short to be alone and to reject olive bread."
"Fine...don't come to me crying when other kids call you names. Where did you even get the money for this?"
"I stole the money from the church."
Something threw me down with the bread in my embrace, it was a slap that brought me down. With no hesitation he striked me down.
"Don't you have no shame? How can you do something like this! Those donations are for..."
I shouted back before he could finish his sentence. I would call myself as cowardly as a little cat yet at that moment I felt the courage of a wild monster inside me.
"For those in need! And who are you? Someone in need! I don't care if I am a thief or not if I can help the people I care about!"
I couldn't understand what I did wrong. This was the purpose of the money and I used it accordingly. I didn't stray from the lord's word and even went beyond by taking things to my hand. Grandpa stayed silent for a few seconds before tapping the place next to him.
"I am sorry kiddo...you are right I am just a person in need. So what would you like to listen today?"
He didn't apologize no that he seemed like the kind that would. That day we talked until the sun went down. Adventure after adventure, beautiful new skies and beautiful new faces. Beauty doesn't just mean perfection but it just means uniqueness.
"That was how our first trade went. All those months just to sell iron and buy spice from a country torn apart by war."
"Your accent is so clean grandpa. I thought all sailors talked like gibberish when they did."
"Goes for nearly all of us. We are just people that want to escape from whatever is binding us like poverty and for me it was my parents. I was born into a somewhat rich family you see yet my brother was the heir to it all and I knew I will be thrown away like a trash one day or another. I wanted to be the that has control in the end."
"Your brother didn't care about you? Sounds like a piece of shit."
"Stop cursing it doesn't sound good when it is from a brats mouth....he didn't know better that's all. My brother was a perfect man, talented at everything and even now he is on top of the ladder. He was given it all but love. My parents always forced him to be more and he did become more. I think as time went on our relationship crumbled as he stopped eating dinner with us and spent most of his time doing anything just to be better. He lived his entire life in the pursuit of nothing and how can I expect him to care about me? His brother that became nothing."
"Grandpa do you want me to beat some sense into him? I can go right now and beat him up for leaving his own brother on the streets! Shame on his soul and money I hope the lord curses his soul even in afterlife."
"Worry not I don't need his pity I am as happy as I can be."
"How can you be happy like this? I don't understand."
"The stars are smiling at me every night. That makes me more than happy. They are always there when I look and remind me of all good days and my wife. What is more to this world other than appreciating what it gives?"
"You are weird..."
"I know maybe I have gone mad after all those years on the sea. Spare this poor sailor from your judgement."
"I didn't know you were married. Care to tell the story grandpa? I have nothing more than time."
"Story for another day. Let's us enjoy! Enjoy the bread together!"
With a rare happiness in his voice we ate the bread together. I would have called it bland or even worthless if it wasn't for the grandpa's smile on his face. I think that bread was the most delicious food I ate until that very moment. We shouldn't have waited all day to eat it yet it was the most delicious mistake ever.
I met him every time I got time for it. He was a kind man just a bit hard like a plank and sharp on the edges. He taught me a lot of things like looking at the stars to guess where I am and how to tie ropes. He was a genuinely kind man. I brought him all types of things, even got us a little bit of cherry. That was the first time I ate it but he wasn't surprised by the sight of that exotic fruit. He called it the good old cherry and only left me a few.
"Ohhh and grandpa I saw that girl again."
"Which one? The birdie girl?"
"How many girls do I even know? Well I know that lady too but she is still ice cold towards me. Not everyone heats up like you."
"I will never get this weird obsessions of your's...well what did the girl say?"
"She said she wants to spend the rest of her life with me. I didn't know what to say so I started stuttering and she just smiled and walked away cause her brother called out."
"Well well well isn't our live birdie going a bit too fast. I never knew you were so charming. So share your secrets what did you do?"
"I don't really know...she is weird like I told you before. It is not like I don't feel an attachment but it is more as if I can't understand her."
"Well it is as clear as the sea on a nice day she loves you. I doubt being haply all the time is something so weird. I know people that would pay a fortune just to be happy like her. Don't you want to live your life with a partner that is always happy?"
"Yes...but come on grandpa you should understand me better than others these are big choices in life."
"Choices are there to be rushed and then regret! Do you think I don't regret this life? I do yet I am still happy about it...story time."
"Story time? What is this about? Hope it is not just one of your stories about the time you sneaked out those hard crackers while others were sleeping cause you felt hungry."
"Those crackers go nice with moonshine. You crach them up and take a few with each bite...I was about to tell the story of me and my wife but well you prefer the food one's I guess..."
"No no please continue grandpa tell me how you two even met. Don't skip over details like the last time I am just a year away form being twelve. I am practically an adult now."
"So be it...it was my third time as a sailor. I was around thirty I think. We docked at a rather big city and like every sailor that has been on that dirty plank for months going between cities and such I went around to find a place...a bathhouse to wash and well do certain things."
"Ohhh grandpa I never knew you were so brave. Father always says that those places are filled eith disease."
"Depends on where you go but yeah you are right. Those places are where most die, pretty sure the war kills less people than those nasty diseases people get from those places."
"So what happened? Don't tell me your wife was one of those..."
"Yes she was. She was what we call a loose woman, spread thighs, madame of the night..."
"Yeah yeah I know what a prostitute is. So how did you even takk to her or even decide to marry? Aren't you a sailor? You couldn't have just stayed there."
"I did...well after meeting her of course. I decided to let off some steam so I looked st their girls and one caught my eyes....hey do you know any of the other races other than us the humans?"
"Well I saw an elf some time ago. Was she an elf? Never knew you liked them tall grandpa."
"She was taller but for a different reason. She was one of those half animal people."
"Half animal? How did they even happen did someone do it with a dog or something?"
"Of course not! Well I don't reslly know too. They probably adapted differently than us that's all."
"So how do they look like? Which part is even animal?"
"They are fascinating to say the least. Ot seems to differ from person to person not sure why. Some only have muscular limbs while others just look like animals. She only had a muscular body, fir on her limbs and lower part. Her face was like us humans."
"So how did you even talk to her? Don't they use a different language there?"
"Are you gonna let me finish?"
"Captain it is getting late just hurry up."
"Fine fine go back to your girl with your tail between your legs. She was a weird one there seemed to be no man trying to even get close to her. It wasn't because she wasn't beautiful or anything she was the most beautiful person I ever met. With my broken language and random words I got from going around I walked up to her and tried asking to dance but well I forgot how to say dance so I tried my best by using the word for moving and holding together which made her laugh. I knew I failed but not at that degree. Even I didn't expect that. Well things went weird she was talking and I was only understanding a few things. We danced for a while but then forgot the whole...lustful acts and started drinking together."
"How does alcohol taste?"
"Is that the thing you wondered? Well it is not like wine the drinks there don't just burn, they feel like a nail at the back of your neck."
"Why drink then? Why would you drink if it doesn't even taste good?"
"To forget. We both wanted to forget things, I could see the disappointment in her eyes. She wanted to swallow all the bad memories and we drank until we buried them all."
"And then? You are a sailor you couldn't have stayed there for long."
"Yes...I indeed couldn't. Next morning I woke up st her place and after some talk she shared me her feelings. She left her tribe a year ago after an event she refused to elaborate on. On the road she was kidnapped by a group of bandits that forced her to sell her body. She escaped one day but with nothing on her back she had no choice but to continue."
I had nothing to say. I should have something along the lines of what a disgusting reality or how can someone do that yet nothing came from my mouth. Sometimes I wonder if I am that normal but then remember that I am not supposed to. We are all created differently. Maybe lord forgot to put enough water in me who knows.
"After all this I told her with the help of my trusty dictionary that she should return back as long as it wasn't something big that pushed her here. She explained it but from what I understood it was about her being too scared to follow one of the traditions of her tribe. I took the same trial so I know how it is. They make you forge a simple knife and you must hunt a dangerous animal and skin it with it."
"You took it? But why? Don't tell me you just gave up on everything and went back with her? Why would you do something like that with someone you just met in a place where you can't even speak properly."
He stayed silent for a few seconds. Before letting out a chuckle.
"You will understand one day. It was love in first sight. Love takes away your eyes, ears, rationality and more. Your move without thinking as you always should. It was the best choice in this old man's life that is all I will say. Write this down somewhere! Only the choices made without any thought can become the best choices of your life."
I didn't understand it at the time but I later realized how important those choices were. You taught me a lot grandpa, I love you more than anything in this world.
"And that's it! I have told you everything I can. There is no story or things alike from me. Are you happy now kiddo?"
"Happy? Absolutely! You can never imagine the warmth inside me that sparked once more with each of your stories. The pleasure of imagining far away lands is something I could never explain. But satisfied? No of course not."
The man had a weird look on his face. I think I knew this look from another friend, the look of someone that wanted to isolate themselves from others for their good. He wanted me gone after hearing all his stories, even after all that time he still believed to be lesser, a burden to him.
"What? What more do you want? You get what you wanted didn't you! Go now stop wasting your life with this old man and do something proper for lord's sake."
"You are not the only friend I have grandpa yet you are asking precious as them all. Winter festival is coming close and who can I go there with but my friends?"
"Can't you see? How do you expect me to go around without a leg? Are you going to get under my arm and walk around with me in that crowd! A homeless old man and some random people going to a festival together! What do you expect me to do? What do you expect them to do?"
I have hard time understanding his words. Sometimes even emotions become far away concepts to me. My secret friends are all so unique, can anyone blame me for loving them?
"Grandpa do you think I would be ashamed? Do you think I would be ashamed, embarrassed to be seen with someone I care?"
I hugged my grandpa for the first time that day, a genuine warm hug. At the time I didn't get any special feelings from doing so yet how could I have known that a simple, unimportant hug like this could become one of the most beautiful moments of my life.
I saw tears running down his face, did I make him cry? Was it supposed to go like this? Why is he even crying? Inferiority complex? A painful memory? Nostalgia? Happiness? Why are tears running down that crumbled face of his?
The festival was just the same thing as the previous years. Free food and alcohol for the masses. Winter festival was something the lord's followers celebrated yet every group filled it for it's atmosphere. My grandpa was there walking in the crowd with his wooden crotches, towered by all the titans. There wad a girl infront of me, she was waving at me with a huge smile on her face, her brother was next to her with his wife. I always hated that disgusting man. A beautiful woman is looking at me with a small smile, she is wearing rather conservative clothes today, unexpected from her. There is a handsome poet waving at us from afar, standing on a table with no care about what others thought. A man is sitting near him, skinny and tired. It was so hard to get him to come here yet now the only thing he does is sitting and doing nothing.
"Hey I got us a table! Let us eat, drink and have all the fun this world has to offer!"
The poet shouted before jumping down the table and sitting. We all took our place before realizing we forgot to get the meat and the drinks.
"I will go get the meat."
"Well as a man of words I know my way around drinks. I will get us some spirit to heal our melancholic spirit."
"Go get them boy! If you bring here tasteless breast I will beat you here infront of all these people let me tell you."
After being scolded by the beautiful woman I left the table to get the meat. The lines were long with all the people trying to get meat but I managed to get my hands on some mutton and beef before a titan argued with me as I tried getting some chicked too calling me a greedy bastard and some other things I couldn't hear because of the voice of others around. I returned the table only to see her brother and his wife missing.
"Where did that pest go?"
"Bastard was fine leaving his sister here with some random people...what a parent."
"Doctor the food is here stop staring at the table and eat em up!"
As if the voice of the poet woke him up the man looked around shocked before filling his wooden cul with spirit and chugging it down.
"Ehhh didn't expect him to be a good drinker. Let's dance after all this."
"Let's dance!"
"We must eat first. Let us fill out stomach and then our mind!"
"Won't you drink with us kiddo?"
"It doesn't look that sweet to me, I don't want to wake up with a headache tomorrow."
"Lift your fist up then brother! To a beautiful tomorrow!"
"To a beautiful tomorrow!"
We all lifted something up, most just lifted their cups, grandpa lifted a lamb chop and me and her lifted our fists.
We danced around that day, our arms intertwined with each other as we circled with someone in the middle dancing. A wild dance those titans called swirlwind. We all danced in the middle other than grandpa who was clapping outside the circle. I should respect the skill of both my brothers. I never expected our dear doctor to move like that let alone even dance. As for our dear poet he took of his shirt and started swinging it around while doing a weird but fans dance I never saw in my life.
I lifted my fist again that night. I smashed a titans skull with a stone I found on the ground, his naked body fell on the ground and never moved again. I don't regret it, I just saved someone I loved.
"I killed someone grandpa. I am proud of myself, I listened to you and acted without thinking. It was the best choice of my life."
Won't you push me away? Won't you beat me like father? Won't you judge me and curse my existence? Won't you call me a monster?
"I know. I am proud of you. It was no more than self defense, no one blames you."
He pulled be closer before hugging me. The feeling of my head being pressed into his chest, the hand on my back, those words. I cried that day. I couldn't breathe, my hands went to my neck yet air refused to pass through. My whole world started spinning as a weird feeling of pressure began it's journey in my head.
I am a monster, no more than those titans.
"I killed someone I loved. My wife died because of me. One day she started having weird spasms so we visited a few doctors after going to the city yet none could even find out the reason. They gave her some medicines thay didn't work, a surgery to take tissue samples or something along those lines. They couldn't find anything so I brought her here by using all my savings from my previous job. I begged my brother to help me find a good doctor for her but he refused. Her sickness only got worse. She started forgetting things and then she lost her basic capabilities. In the end she just had the mind of a child and didn't even remember me, I had to meet her every day as if our first, take care of her, got to work, come back and repeat the cycle. After another visit to a specialist I learned the reason. I was the carrier of a serial illness that passed through certain acts. It was a simple thing that could have been treated easily but when the symptoms progressed they would become permanent. The reason they couldn't find it out in Ruya was because of how rare it was there. My wife died after a few months. I was happy, at least she died before I ran out of money....at least she died with an innocent smile on her face."
I think I didn't care about the story, I was selfish even at that moment. I have always been selfish, spineless, scared piece of shit that couldn't even do the simplest of the simplest things. I hate myself more than anything and gather those close to me just to fill the holes in my heart and needs. I really am pathetic.
"I am proud of you...I could never see you as something you are not kiddo. You are a literal hero! Is it that hard to see...Come on stop crying people are looking at us...I might become rich if you came here to cry every day."
"You had to ruin the moment huh grandpa."
I got up to my feet and let out a chuckle after what he said.
"Well now that I know all of you there is no need to sit here all depressed. Let's go fish or something! We can watch the stars too. There is a lot to do other than melancholic conversations."
"Wha...you were just crying a second ago what is this change! New generation is doomed for sure if all of you are like this."
We continued our meetings every once in a while, during these times I focused on others especially her after all she started having mental problems after witnessing the death of that man. I did my best to support her but didn't just leave grandpa like that as well. I believe I have done my best for both.
We went to fishing. We didn't even have rods so we held the string with our hands and used bread as bait. I couldn't catch one at all but he caught three fishes as long as my forearm. We found some other homeless people, used their fire and shared the meat. The fish tasted better than anything I had before. Maybe it was the feeling of catching it together that made it taste so good.
We watched a play. It wasn't some fancy one in a theater it was just a free one anybody could watch. It was about the end of a prideful man. He lost everything he had, buried his true feelings and lost the only person he loved. His pride kept him from talking to her, realizing the truth and living a good life yet he refused. Hiccups and tears painted this painting, I never expected people to react that way to be honest. I only felt anger at the sight, it was tragic yes but it only happened because of that spineless man. Grandpa seemed to like it but he didn't react to it at all. He was a hardened man and wasn't used to show his emotions yet I think there was another reason. Maybe he saw himself in the man, wished he showed her more love before her death.
He taught me how to tie ropes, how to pick a lock, how to make small traps and how to work with iron. He wasn't good at picking locks and when it came to working with iron and he just taught me what to do and not how to do. There were still years until I learned how to forge and pick locks properly.
We watched stars together. He told me that of I trace some stars with my fingers I will see that they make out different shapes. It was a huge revelation for me. I have forgotten what their names were yet at the time yet just spending time with someone was enough for me.
Making makeshift spears to hunt fish in the middle of winter.
Playing dice together.
Eating fruits and bread together.
Trying to guess the next days weather.
Learning to dance like those natives.
How could I have known that everything would fall apart.
"I want to visit those lands painted yellow and green. I want to become a sailor just like you."
"Where did that come..."
"Didn't you say that they loved you more than your own parents? Care for you like their own children. Someone needs to tell them what happened...they can be dead or not at least someone needs to know."
His face distorted, crumbled, broke, shattered into thousands shards and fell down.
"That is...I can't expect you to take months off your life only to...tell them that."
"I am tired of this world where I am no more than an outsider. I am ready to leave it all behind if it means I can live in that sand covered land that is filled with beauty unlike the pus of this city that is up to my ankles. I want to be the son you never had. You gave me more than anyone could in this life and I want to pay you back....I want to be like you."
"Son...I always wanted to have a son that would understand me...I always wanted to teach them all I know, I wanted to tell them stories...I wanted to watch them grow. Me and my Rey couldn't have kids..."
"A son isn't just your seed but the seed of your thoughts too. Don't cry because I want to see you smiling when I return."
A felt a small smile forming on my lips as I hugged him. His old eyes that saw things beyond my comprehension were covered in tears, maybe tears of joy or just tears to lament a lost love.
"You deserve this...I kept this on me for years refusing to participate with it. It is a knife worthy of you."
From the pocket of his torn, old clothes covered in dirt he took out a blade. As he took it out of the sheath it was revealed to my eyes. A blade made for sailors, it must have been made of cheap materials and the edge was covered in green rust.
"It is a honor...thank you grandpa I will make you proud."
It was near the end of winter. Weirdly enough it was snowing which was unexpected since it was the only one in the entire week. The snow was at the edge of becoming a whole storm and I was running to grandpa to give him enough money to rent a cheap place for the day. Selling newspapers in my free time made it easier to gather money since I could sense the suspicious looks of father.
With each step I could feel a pain in my stomach, an ache telling me that something is horribly wrong. I wanted to ignore it, I wanted to act like nothing is wrong yet I couldn't. A few more steps, just a few more steps and I saw it.
Thin layer of snow covered in blood. A man is on the ground with three armed man around him. They are swinging their swords down again and again, they are only cutting thin slices on his skin, making sure he suffered before dying there.
Why are you looking at me with those eyes? Is ot because of the pain or because it is me, your own son watching you. Do you want me to run away? Save myself? Do you want me to stay as no more than a stranger in this world?
I am sorry grandpa but I can't watch it all anymore. There is something burning inside me, something you created. I will not let these titans steal one more thing I love from my hands!
I charged forward with his knife in my hand. Before I could even reach them one of them turned at me, he had a small family crest on his chest. A small accessory that made it obvious who the young man was. A murdered that wanted no obstacles on his path to claim his families lineage, a greedy titan that wanted to step on us once more.
He didn't react, maybe out of shock or just because he was wondering what a kid could even do.
Blade stabbed deep into the back of the first man as she shouted in pain and fell on his knees. I tried to pull the knife back before something hit me.
I only saw a slight change in color. Before I could even react I felt a few sharp objects in my mouth. My jaw suddenly opened wide out of my control and blood dripped down alongside small objects that were once called teeth.
A sudden movement happened before my eyes as I was thrown to the ground alongside the sound of something cracking. Something broke inside me, my vision blurred but I couldn't feel anything, it must have been the fire inside my chest keeping me together even at this moment. Blood dripped down the left side of my head as the right side of my body went limp.
One of the man got on me before pouncing and slamming his fist down again and again as the shards and my blood filled my throat causing me to cough with each punch trying to survive for even just one more moment, clinging to a life at the edge of death.
Punches rained down, my wind pipe, skull, teeth, jaw, fingers,eye. Anything that got between him and my life were broken, torn, shattered. Nothing remained of me but a puddle of red on the white background, a drop of life.
I can only watch this world.
I never felt as a part of it, I was just an observer.
I sucked their blood like a leech, lived like a parasite.
I wish they understood me, I wish I understood them.
Why can I only understand those that are crushed, suffering, broken?
I don't care now, maybe I should have just accepted my fate.
But thay is not an option now, you already showed me a different path grandpa.
I will change my fate and stand up, I will live for myself and escape this world of titans.
I will tear my way our of this hell with my own two hands, rip their guts and survive.
I will not let those titans take away all I love! I will protect all broken like me.
I will reach the edge of fulfillment and find my happiness in the embrace of those that understand me.
I WILL BE HAPPY!
Warm blood is dripping on my face.
It is so cold...
Their corpses and suspended in the air, crushed into the size of a little box.
I am crawling on the ground, dragging myself forward with my broken fingers towards the patch painted with life.
He reached out to me, I think he tried saying something bu I couldn't hear it.
I buried my head into his chest as my conscious left me. Blood and shattered remains coming out of my mouth and emptiness behind my eyes.
You are so warm grandpa.
As the thin blanket of snow covered us I found myself in heaven.
"Son! Get up we have a lot to do. We have to hunt and get ready for the festival. Don't you want to impress the chief?"
"Just...give me a second."
I got up from the ground before looking at the man before me. Fit, muscular and wearing weird clothes made of thin layers. He is my father, the man that taught me all he could.
"I will be outside, grab the arrows and your knife we have some birds to hunt."
I left my room and went to the kitchen to find some dried meat to eat on the road only for someone to touch me from behind.
"Sneaking meat right under your mama's nose huh. Quite courageous today boy."
"Fine fine I am leaving...take care mom."
I kissed her on the cheek before rushing out eith the equipment. We passed through multiple crowds of people trying to get the festival set up. Festival of courage is one of the rare times the tribe receives people from the outside world. It is the biggest festival in the year as well which includes the ritual of adulthood, dance of the spirits, a feast worthy of kings.
We made our way into the desert and after a short walk we reached a lake. It was surrounded by long trees and plants, keeping everyone alive in this land where farming was only possible with certain plants which were mostly just roots.
"Come...don't make too much noise I will go around and scare them so you can shoot them while they are flying towards you."
"I got this dad...."
"See you later son"
"I love you dad."
Lord almighty please don't take his life away...take mine instead.
I am as happy as I could ever be.
Dying in the embrace of someone who cares for you.
I never expected it to feel so good.
Even in this cold day, even with all the blood I have lost.
Embrace of someone that cares for you will always be the warmest place.
Please accept me to your kingdom Lord of the infinite seas.
Please let me die tonight.
And then I woke up from heaven and was thrown into the middle of hell. I wish I could tell you how much I loved you grandpa.
I miss you...