The moment I blasted the SOS, I regretted it. Blasted mindlinks. It's so easy to let things slip.
{Betas approach}
{Mate!}
Okay, quickly now, off the top of my head, I could think of two ways to handle the situation.
OPTION 1: GRIN AND BEAR IT
If I regressed to a 5-year-old brat, my betas would never respect me, and Bell would probably call me baby forever. They might even make me bubble baths. I mean, they were already shelling and deboning and cutting my food into bite-sized squares, the idiots.
I'm the Alpha. And if I wanted any respect around here, I would have to earn it.
OPTION 2: COME CLEAN AND FACE IT
The other option was to admit my weakness and get help from my team so I wouldn't melt down in an Alpha brat tantrum at the meeting. I mean, they aren't my Mum, but Ben's been running beside me for years. Harvey seemed to be experienced in dealing with spoiled little sisters, and Killion was a natural at cajoling irate and spoiled Alpha brats (I believed he had practiced for many years with Bell. Hahaha). Oh, and Mate could be rather soothing—as long as he didn't open his stupid mouth.
"Princess!" The guys arrived. Had they run? Speed-walked? They looked around, sensing danger, with an urgency I had not expected.
"You summoned us, Goddess?" Killion asked.
Mate reached out to calm my hair. I shook his hand away. Nuh-uh. I didn't need preening service. My hair was half braided, which kept the top part down even if the rest of it decided to live it up.
And I was not a baby.
Humph.
"She's tired out. I think she reached her limit," Ben observed aloud.
Shut up. No one asked you.
"Princess, would you like to rest? You can leave the meeting to us," Harvey offered.
"I can sit in," Rebel said. "You go to bed."
Don't order me around.
"I'm presenting about Princess Town later, so I would have to be present," Killion said.
"I'll take notes," Harvey decided. "Ben, accompany the Princess back to her family's apartment, and then get some rest yourself. You will take tomorrow's morning shift. Ki and I are assigned as drivers, but we are only needed in the afternoon."
"I have to follow up on the Princess Town contribution with the Alphas we met tonight," Killion said.
"I'll take as many of the other tasks and errands as possible then," Harvey decided. "Ben will be based with the Princess."
Ben nodded.
Don't decide everything by yourselves. Grrr...
Okay, I've got to get a grip. If I flared up now, I wouldn't be any better than Eddy, who was probably fast asleep right now. It would only prove to everyone that I should be in bed too.
I shook my head and said in my best sensible tone, "Yeah, I'm tired. Sorry about just now. I just let it slip. My file is upstairs. I will attend the meeting."
"Are you sure, Goddess? It's been a long day for you," Killion said.
"It's been a long day for everyone," I said. (Yes! I'm so adulting right now. I gave myself a mental pat on the back.)
"You don't have to push yourself, Princess," Mate said.
Ben just shrugged. "I'll get her notes and sit in on the meeting. Harv can sit this one out."
Harvey nodded. "I'll settle paperwork. Do you need help with anything, Ki?"
Ki nodded. "I need all the Alphas' contacts and maybe email drafts to attach the documents for follow-up to their promised investments."
"Right." Harvey tapped it out on his phone. "What about Ben?"
"I'm good." Ben smirked.
"Luna, is there anything I can do for you?" Harvey asked Bell.
Bell shook his head. "Not now, but I want to be CC'd on the emails for Princess Town. And I'd like to look at the updated plans."
"Understood," Killion said. "I'll see to that."
They were all functioning. I needed to grow up and get my head in the game. This was the merger meeting. It was finally happening. I was the Alpha.
OPTION C: GROW UP
It's not about getting respect, it's about sticking it out and seeing it through. Therein lay my weakness. (But wow, I was beginning to sound like my Mum.)
Yes, I regressed into a 5-year-old when I was tired, but that wasn't so much the problem as my inability to complete what I started.
I've always put it on my Alpha wolf for my lack of perseverance to see things through to the very end. You know, once the Alpha struck first blood, the beta would step in to finish the kill, and then of course someone else had to clean up the mess. (What, you thought we left dead carcasses lying around our woods? What did you see us as? Animals?)
Henry said my bloodline had some sort of catalyst power—that's something that starts some kind of change or speeds up a reaction. I knew because I actually checked it in the dictionary.
And when I thought about it, it was true. I could start things pretty fast. I get lucky and get a great start most of the time. But finishing wasn't really my thing.
Start a food fight? No problem. Clean up after? Oh... that was hard.
Get into archery club? Top scorer. Finish the beginner year? Unlikely, since I would be transferring schools next term.
Get the merger of Night Leaf and Morning Light going? We even got Lorent on board now, even before our second meeting... But I'm also about to have a meltdown and sit it out.
Start the new Princess Town project? Tada! We've got resources and the Alphas from the top packs of the major-colored packlands on board. But now what?
Now that I thought about it, I was always a great starter, but never much for finishing.
When I packed my school bag, I always left something outside and my bag unzipped. Mum would say, "Why not just finish it by putting it inside and zipping it up?" I would say maybe I would remember something else to put in later.
When I read a book, I tended to read about two-thirds of it, then I would read the last chapter and epilogue.
I've used countless notebooks in my life and never finished any of them to the last page. I never used any pencil down to the stub, nor any eraser more than halfway before getting a new one.
I've finished my can of Coke almost every single time. I could eat all my ice cream too. I could put on a full outfit from start to end—oh wait, but I wouldn't have put the used clothes into the laundry hamper. Or put away my brushes or anything.
I hated to admit it, but the truth was, I wasn't a good finisher.
I'm okay at short spurts, like studying for a test the night before, or sprinting for a bus, or interesting things like finishing a movie or a pack run, but...
Suddenly I understood why Mum and Dad were always on my case for not finishing things properly—it's not because they were being difficult. It's because I couldn't finish anything on my own.
Paradigm shifted.
I'm that pathetic, huh?
Gah! Why was my pack following me? I'm a 5-year-old with an Alpha wolf!
They might as well follow Little Alpha Eddy. At least Eddy will grow up to be a proper male Alpha.
I'm just me! T.T
I can't even stay in a fight for longer than 15 minutes without my body breaking down.
Next thing I knew, Ben was back with my file, and we were heading to the conference room. Ben knew the way because he had helped Oscar set up earlier.
Ben had been working all day too, but he wasn't degenerating into a 5-year-old. In fact, he had been pretty grown up all day. Even now, he was walking purposefully ahead, still in his suit and being all bossy.
Why didn't I get cooler like that when I was tired?
My feet hurt in my boots. I had been wearing them all day, and they were pinching me.
At least I got my puffy lucky hooded vest on. The air was chilly at night. We were right next to the lake, and it was winter.
Arughh... What the hell. I made a short, sudden stop to pull off my boots. Why wear shoes that were uncomfortable?
Killion reached out to take them from me, but I refused.
Okay. I'm going to finish what I've started... starting from now anyway.
Not that it had anything to do with who carried my boots. But I'm a grown-up, and grown-ups didn't need someone else to hold their stinky boots for them!
I caught Bell and Ki exchanging a look and then shrugging. Ben turned in front of what I presumed to be the conference room door. He raised a brow at me clutching to my two boots and sighed.
"What?" I asked. If they've got something to say, then they should say it.
"It'll be fine," Ben said. "I came prepared."
"Prepared for what?" I asked.
"To take a 5-year-old to work," Ben said. He took out a brightly colored tube. Was that Jelly Beans?
"If you sit through this meeting successfully, it's yours," Ben told me.
What? If he thinks he could bribe me to behave for a tube of Jelly Beans...
"Deal," I said. I took the tube from him.
Ben smirked.
Bell looked faintly amused.
Ki smiled beautifully and announced the moment the door opened, "Alpha Sam is here."
Ben pulled out a chair closest to Dad.
Mate sat next to me. Ki sat next to Mate. Ben sat across from me, next to his Dad, who was on Dad's other side. We were lined up like a deck of cards ready for play.
But I had Jelly Beans, and I was happy—not just because I had Jelly Beans, but because I had a strategy to become a strong finisher.
Would you look at that! I had a plan! That's proof that I've been leveling up already.
There was no point in wanting to be grown up or beating myself up about being a lousy finisher. I hated that, but there's nothing I could do to magically become what I was not.
I had to work with what I had and what I could do.
And what I could do was eat a tube of Jelly Beans and sit through one last meeting.
Which technically was Ben's plan. But I was about to incorporate it into the larger scheme of my life.
So I was bad at long-distance things because I was bad at things that dragged on for a long time. All I had to do was break it all up into small, short sprints that I could (probably) complete properly on my own.
So instead of working on merging our three packs, which I would never see the finish line of from here, I would break it up into little steps that I could do. Like eat Jelly Beans and sit through a meeting tonight.
Little by little, one step at a time.
And just so I wouldn't accidentally forget, here is a list of big things to do.
SAM'S LIST OF BIG THINGS TO DO
Merge packs Build Princess Town Free lycan slaves Kick Rogue King's butt Protect everyone's happiness
It really made me wonder what I was doing before this... Oh right.
Become the Alpha.
I thought that was my lifelong goal... Who knew it was just the beginning of a lot more goals?
And I wasn't even technically Alpha yet.