Chapter 282 Hikigaya: Stop Laughing, You Ugly Woman!
"We're just eating."
"What? You're not having another misunderstanding, are you?"
Hikigaya looked at the fuming Kushida Kikyo with a calm expression. He knew that at a moment like this, he absolutely couldn't show even a hint of guilt. Moreover, he shouldn't even think about explaining himself; it would only sound like he was making excuses.
"A misunderstanding?"
Kushida's brow furrowed, and she turned a suspicious gaze toward Horikita Suzune.
"Horikita! You tell me—what was going on just now?"
"Does this have anything to do with you?" Horikita Suzune was as dismissive as ever when it came to explaining herself.
"You little b—"
Kushida opened her mouth to start cursing. Seizing the opportunity, Hikigaya scooped up a piece of cake and shoved it into her mouth.
"Mmph?! Wu-wu?!"
Kushida instinctively chewed a few times and swallowed. She couldn't help but start ranting again: "You jerk! You think you can fool me with—mph!"
Hikigaya stuffed another piece in.
"Does it taste good?"
"It's so sweet~ heehee!"
The expression on Kushida's face transformed from a furious Yaksha into a sunny young girl. She took the opportunity to sit down right next to Hikigaya.
"Hachiman, I want more~"
"Yeah, yeah."
Hikigaya secretly felt a mix of exasperation and amusement. The old methods were the best; as long as they worked, it was fine.
"Eat it yourself."
Hikigaya handed the spoon to her, but Kushida didn't take it. She simply opened her small mouth, waiting to be fed. Having no choice, Hikigaya had to continue his role as the "caretaker."
Seeing Hikigaya lean in closer, Kushida shyly closed her eyes.
Plop!
The sensation was much rougher than she expected, and her mouth was suddenly filled with something cold. The taste was wrong—it wasn't sweet, and it tasted like a "fox"!
Kushida opened her eyes only to see that the person holding the spoon was actually Horikita Suzune.
"Pah! Pah! Pah!"
Realizing it was the spoon Horikita had been using, Kushida immediately looked like she was about to gag.
"Shameless creature.
Stealing someone else's food, and yet you have the nerve to make such a scene here!" Horikita Suzune also threw down her spoon with a look of utter disgust.
"Huh? What makes you think Hachiman belongs to you? You shameless woman!!" Kushida shrieked in rage.
Seeing the two of them about to tear into each other again over a single disagreement, Hikigaya quickly intervened to mediate.
"It's just a dessert. I'll just order another one."
He called the waiter over and, under the waiter's bewildered gaze, ordered yet another "Couples' Set."
"Hachiman, feed me."
"No, look, this..."
"I don't care!" Kushida was relentless.
"..."
Helpless, Hikigaya could only comply.
"Hachiman, you should try mine too~"
"No thanks, I'm already full from just now."
"What, you mean Horikita already fed you until you were full?"
"Look at how you're framing it..."
"Eat!"
Under the overwhelming pressure of Kushida (Yaksha version), Hikigaya could only surrender. He tearfully forced down a large piece of tiramisu until his stomach was bloated!
However, just then, Hikigaya heard two familiar voices coming from behind him.
"Airi, how do you have so much free time to ask me out for sweets today?"
"It's nothing, I just felt that being alone on Christmas Eve was a bit boring."
"Same here. It's a pity Hachiman is busy with Student Council stuff, otherwise, we could've asked him to hang out~"
Hikigaya's body froze. He didn't dare turn around. But the sharp-eyed Hasebe Haruka quickly spotted their table. There was no helping it; in a room full of couples, their table of three was a total "eye-catcher"!
"Eh?"
"Horikita-san and Kushida-san? And... Hachiman?!"
Hearing them call out, Hikigaya had to bite the bullet and turn his head.
"Yo~ Airi, Haruka. What a coincidence... ahaha."
"Hachiman-kun..."
Sakura Airi gazed at him with a face full of resentment.
"Didn't you say you were on a date with 'Miss AIR'?"
"Well... There's a very deep reason for this." Hikigaya was suddenly breaking into a cold sweat.
"Two-timing!"
"Hachiman, this is blatant betrayal!" Hasebe Haruka questioned him loudly and angrily.
As soon as those words left her mouth, the people around them once again turned their gazes toward the drama.
Good grief! Truly incredible! Two more girls showed up!
'This bastard with the dead fish eyes is four-timing!!!'
"Oh my~ Hasebe-san, you shouldn't speak so recklessly. We just happened to run into Hachiman-kun by chance," Kushida said with a slight smile, maintaining the poise of a gentle and elegant lady.
"Two-timing who? Betraying whom? I say, you two, could you stop being so self-righteous?" Horikita Suzune launched a venomous tongue attack.
Facing the combined passive-aggressive front of Kushida and Horikita, Hasebe Haruka was so angry she took a few steps back.
At that moment, Sakura Airi stepped forward.
"Since it's a coincidence, why don't we just sit together?"
Kushida's brow hitched, and she responded with a smile that didn't reach her eyes.
"While we don't mind, unfortunately, there aren't enough seats left."
She pointed to the last remaining seat at the four-person table, a hint of malice flashing in her eyes. "How about the two of you decide which one gets to sit here?"
"Don't try to drive a wedge between us!"
"Airi and I are of one heart!"
As she spoke, Hasebe Haruka dragged a chair from elsewhere and forced her way in. Sakura Airi sat next to Horikita Suzune, staring intently at Hikigaya.
"Ahem~"
"Anyway, the sets here are pretty good. Airi, Haruka, do you want to try some?"
To change the subject, Hikigaya summoned the waiter again. After hearing that Hikigaya wanted to order two more "Couples' Sets," the waiter's expression became exceptionally colorful.
"Hachiman, say 'Ah~'"
"Hachiman-kun, I want to feed you too!"
Facing the simultaneous feeding attempts from the two girls, Hikigaya's face was ashen. He felt like he would eventually be stuffed to death!
Hikigaya's Christmas Eve was destined to be anything but peaceful.
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December 25th, Christmas Day.
Yesterday was just the warm-up; today, the festive atmosphere on campus reached its climax. Shops, the playground, the gardens—couples were everywhere.
Even the single men and women, influenced by the atmosphere, began to get restless. With a rush of blood to the head, they foolishly started confessing their love!
However, facts proved that this kind of reckless "charge for love" had a very low success rate.
"Wow~ Writing a love letter? Otakus are so gross..."
"We just chatted a few times. When did you get the delusion that I liked you?"
"You've misunderstood. The one I like is your best friend."
"No, bro? Are you for real?"
The sounds of various rejections echoed throughout the campus.
"Hahaha!"
"This is the reality of youth!"
Hikigaya grinned, feeling an immense sense of delight in his heart.
Confessing, being accepted, and entering a relationship—these were low-probability events to begin with. In life, eight or nine times out of ten, things don't go your way. Those who bravely charge forward in the name of "celebrating youth" have to accept the possibility of failure.
However, the world never lacks despicable losers.
"Hmph! What do you mean you 'only want to study and don't want to date'? Don't think I don't know, Miki—you have a crush on Asahina from Class A!"
"You—you're talking nonsense...!"
The girl, whose confession had failed, outed the boy's secret out of a desire for revenge.
"Still refusing to admit it? During the Sports Festival, who was it that secretly ran to Class A to cheer for Asahina?
Did you think she would be moved and fall in love with you because of that?
Don't make me laugh!
How could a woman of Asahina's caliber ever look at a mediocre guy like you!"
Mitsuki's mockery was like a sharp blade piercing Miki's heart.
"Mitsuki, you..." Miki trembled with rage but could not find the words to refute her. From a purely aesthetic standpoint, being dark-skinned and short, he indeed had nothing to do with being "handsome."
"Still not convinced?
If you have the guts, go challenge Nagumo.
If Nagumo finds out you're lusting after his childhood friend, just wait to be expelled!"
Mitsuki's caustic words ground Miki's dignity into the dirt.
"SHUT UP, AHHHHH!!"
His mental defenses completely shattered, the boy lunged forward in anger. However, unfortunately, Mitsuki was the athletic type. With a nimble sidestep, she avoided his attack and used the momentum to trip him, sending him sprawling to the ground.
"Trash! You're only fit to lick my boots!"
Mitsuki stepped on the back of the boy's head, pinning his face firmly into the dirt. A strange excitement flashed in her eyes.
"Mmph... mmmph!"
Miki struggled violently, but the gap in physical ability meant he couldn't resist Mitsuki's suppression.
A passerby couldn't stand it and spoke up to advise her: "We're all classmates. There's no need to go that far, right?"
"What? Are you from Class D and trying to mind someone else's business?" Mitsuki barked at the peacemaker.
"You... you're being unreasonable... Does being in Class A mean you can do whatever you want?"
"That's right! If you dare interfere with Class A's business, I think you're the one who wants to be expelled!" Mitsuki bluffed, successfully intimidating the passing onlookers.
Hearing the commotion, Hikigaya followed the sound.
"Hey! What are you doing here?"
Seeing this fierce senpai actually stepping on another student's head was truly a rare sight.
"Lift your foot!
Publicly assaulting someone is a serious violation of school rules!" Hikigaya reprimanded her.
"Who the hell are you—"
Mitsuki was about to start cursing when she suddenly saw the red armband on Hikigaya's sleeve.
"You're that Disciplinary Committee member?"
"Senpai, don't make me say it a second time." Hikigaya's face darkened.
"Tch~ Just a first-year. What are you acting so tough for?" Mitsuki grumbled, but she knew the person in front of her wasn't someone to mess with, so she withdrew her foot.
"Are you okay, Senpai?" Hikigaya went over and helped Miki up.
"I—I'm fine..." Miki's face was beet red; he felt utterly humiliated.
"Do you want to press charges? I can report this to the school for you," Hikigaya said.
"No—no need!" Miki shook his head hurriedly, a flicker of fear crossing his eyes. He was clearly afraid of Nagumo Miyabi's retaliation afterward.
Hikigaya frowned. If the victim wouldn't step forward, it would be difficult to charge her.
"Ha~ A coward as expected." Mitsuki sneered. Then, she locked her attention on Hikigaya. After scanning him up and down, her eyes lit up.
"Heh~ You've got a pretty good build, kouhai. Interested in going on a date with me?"
As she spoke, she reached out to try and hook Hikigaya's chin.
'Slap!'
Hikigaya heartlessly swiped her fingers away and said coldly, "Senpai, please mind your behavior! This is a school, not a host club."
"Oh~ You're angry." Mitsuki continued to taunt him. "Could it be you're still a virgin?"
Hikigaya countered coldly: "With the way you're flaunting yourself, Senpai, could it be you're a nymphomaniac?"
"You dare insult me?!"
Mitsuki was instantly enraged and swung a slap toward him. Hikigaya raised a hand to block, firmly grabbing her wrist.
But before he could reprimand her, she beat him to the punch by playing the victim: "Indecent assault! Everyone, come look! A boy is bullying a girl!!"
Mitsuki's shouting attracted a large crowd of onlookers.
"Eh? Isn't that Hikigaya?"
"Quick, let go of her!"
Shinohara Satsuki, who happened to be passing by, immediately transformed into a "messenger of justice" without a second thought.
Hikigaya gave her a cold glance.
"You—glaring at me won't help...
I won't take your side just because we're in the same class." Shinohara spoke with conviction.
Seeing this, Mitsuki was overjoyed. She put on a weak and aggrieved expression. "Hikigaya-kun, you're hurting me... can you let go of me first?"
"Even though I rejected your date invitation, you can't just force yourself on me."
The lies came out of her mouth effortlessly!
"What evidence do you have that I asked you on a date?" Hikigaya was practically laughing from anger. He looked around, trying to find a witness.
"..."
Miki hesitated, about to explain.
"Miki! You'd better think carefully!
What will happen if you spread rumors and slander our Class A?!" Mitsuki threatened coldly.
Miki clenched his fists and, in the end, spinelessly lowered his head. The surrounding onlookers looked at each other and chose silence.
Seeing this, Hikigaya's heart sank. He had underestimated Nagumo Miyabi's deterrence. After all, the man was a monster who had successfully caused more than twenty students to be expelled!
"Hikigaya-kun, if you really wanted to ask me on a date, you could just say it out loud~
It's not like I couldn't give you a chance~~"
Mitsuki's eyes flickered. She chose to quit while she was ahead, having no intention of forcefully framing Hikigaya. She wasn't stupid; she knew she couldn't get him expelled based on her word alone. Rather than a fight where both sides lost, it was better to offer him a way out so everyone could save face.
"Heh!"
Hikigaya laughed. He could naturally read the hidden implication in her words. As long as he admitted to asking her out and said a few nice things, the matter would be over.
"Heehee~"
Mitsuki laughed too. Talking to smart people was so much easier! She believed he would make the right choice.
"Stop laughing, you ugly woman."
"???"
"You couldn't even land Miki-senpai. Who gave you the courage to hit on me?"
"!!!"
"Having a terrible girl like you in Class 2-A is simply the shame of Class A!"
"You...!!!"
"The person who should be expelled most is you! Otherwise, letting a gold-digger like you get a recommendation to a top university will only ruin the educational reputation of Advanced Nurturing High!"
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