◆
"I really enjoyed today."
Hong Yeonhwa was the type of person whose emotions showed plainly on her face.
Her bright smile, the corners of her lips lifted without restraint, and the sparkle in her eyes overflowed with innocent delight.
Was it because of what had happened on the terrace just moments ago?
As she turned to leave, the faint dimple that appeared on her cheek deepened.
The excitement she felt was almost tangible.
It was as though she had already accepted her feelings and was ready to share them with the world.
She was a woman who had received abundant love—and possessed enough love to give in return.
The complete opposite of someone who refused to let even her own emotions escape.
Knock. Knock.
"Come in."
The door opened.
Seonmi stepped inside, holding my jacket carefully in both hands.
Even when she had secretly slipped into my room before, her footsteps had never been this cautious.
Whatever the reason, she was doing everything she could to avoid coming into contact with me.
"You left your jacket behind. I'll hang it up and leave."
So she wouldn't even meet my eyes.
I disliked the way she walked with her head lowered.
The moment she hung the jacket up and turned away, my hand moved first.
It settled on her shoulder.
The instant our eyes met, Seonmi froze.
Surprise filled her face before she even had the chance to hide it.
Only then was I finally able to look at her properly.
"I can no longer stand watching you avoid my gaze."
She stared at me without breathing.
No...
Rather than looking at me, she seemed like someone who had forgotten how to run.
"So you dislike even looking at me that much?"
A sharp motion.
She brushed my hand away.
"How much longer are you going to treat me like a toy?"
There wasn't a trace of trembling on her face.
Her eyes looked directly into mine.
And once again—
I felt that thirst.
"I don't know why you've become so obsessed with your own delusions."
"Why were you looking at me like that on the terrace?"
"Because... you were there."
"So you're still making fun of me."
"..."
"All you ever do is watch my reactions, looking for something to laugh at. I don't want to see that anymore."
The moment her last words fell, the room became silent.
So silent that all we could hear was each other's breathing.
Seonmi continued looking straight at me.
Not frightened.
Not completely resigned.
The eyes of someone who had been deeply hurt.
Eyes that still couldn't understand me.
For some reason—
those eyes only provoked me further.
Every time I looked at her, I felt suffocated.
Perhaps because I couldn't understand why.
She always tried to escape my sight.
Whenever I approached, she stepped back.
Whenever I reached out, she held her breath.
And yet...
she never truly left.
That contradiction drove me mad.
I stepped closer.
"Every time you avoided me... I thought you were mocking me."
"..."
"Even on the terrace... I wanted you to look at me. Just like you're looking at me now."
She didn't answer.
But her eyes had already betrayed the turmoil inside her.
"You only look at me after I kiss another woman."
I was thirsty.
Thirsty to hear your answer.
To know what was inside your heart.
"What exactly do you feel for me?"
Without realizing she had already been exposed, Seonmi turned away.
She took several steps before stopping.
"My feelings are not something Your Highness needs."
Her slender neck.
Her narrow shoulders.
And the unexplainable thirst I felt toward her—
Together, they made the sight of her back almost dangerously beautiful.
I clenched my jaw.
In a single stride I crossed the distance and seized her wrist.
Even with her wrist caught in my hand, she stubbornly refused to turn around.
As though she would never yield.
"After thinking so long... is that truly the answer you've come up with?"
She shook my hand off again.
Red marks appeared immediately across the delicate skin of her wrist.
Oddly enough—
even that stirred something inside me.
"If Your Highness continues like this…"
The calm in her eyes slowly began to ripple.
Like the surface of water just before it overflowed.
Unable to endure it any longer, I pulled her into my arms.
As though I wanted all the emotions she had hidden to finally spill over—
and come to me.
◆◆
At some point, the distance between Gowon and me lost all meaning.
The shadow behind me merged with my own.
The warmth of his body wrapped around me, almost unbearably hot.
My throat tightened.
Neither of us spoke.
Yet the silence itself was enough.
Perhaps the thread I had desperately been holding onto had already snapped the moment I saw him kissing Hong Yeonhwa on the terrace.
His hand slowly found mine.
The gesture was gentle this time.
There was no force.
No command.
Only quiet reassurance.
"Don't run away again."
His low voice brushed softly against my ear.
He held me close, as though asking nothing more than for me to remain where I was.
I tried to look away.
He gently turned my face back toward him.
Our foreheads almost touched.
His gaze lingered on me, patient and unwavering.
Each time our eyes met, I found myself losing the strength to keep pretending nothing was happening.
His fingertips brushed lightly across my cheek.
Every careful touch slowly dismantled the walls I had built around myself.
I had always believed that the safest choice was never to desire something I could never have.
Just as I had taught myself as a child.
But I realized it far too late.
Without noticing, my heart had already become filled with him.
So full that I could no longer pretend otherwise.
"You're avoiding my eyes."
His voice was quiet.
"I can tell you're hiding something."
"…No."
"Then don't hide it from me."
Before I could answer, he simply drew me into a quiet embrace.
One arm rested around my shoulders.
The other around my waist.
His breathing was warm beside my ear.
"You don't have to hide anything when you're with me."
Those words slowly unraveled everything inside me.
Simply remaining in his arms made my heart beat wildly.
Hearing his heartbeat so close to mine made it impossible to deny my own feelings any longer.
It felt as though our hearts had begun beating in the same rhythm.
I saw the back of a small child digging into the earth with a tiny shovel.
One step.
Then another.
I slowly approached before stopping.
The child was smiling happily while holding something soaked in blood.
A wave of nausea swept over me.
I kept trying to back away.
Yet my body was pulled toward that child as though by a magnet.
The child's eyes were perfectly clear.
And yet—
completely empty.
Without a trace of emotion.
The child embraced me.
Blood stained my body.
"Stop...!"
I sat upright with a start, drenched in cold sweat.
Gowon, who had been standing with his back turned, slowly looked over his shoulder.
Dark eyes.
Clear eyes.
They were the same eyes as the child in my dream.
No—
they were identical.
"You must have been badly frightened... enough to have a nightmare."
The child from the nightmare.
That child...
had been Crown Prince Gowon.
His flawless features looked colder than ever today, stripped completely of emotion.
A strange feeling settled inside me.
Could it be...
That child from back then...?