---
Scott didn't expect to see him at his doorstep.
It's late — nearly 10 p.m., the porch light buzzing with moths, the quiet hum of his mom's TV drifting from the living room window.
Brian's standing there — hands stuffed in the pockets of his hoodie, hair a mess, eyes so wide they look like he's been crying.
He's always been big — broad shoulders, taller than everyone in the hallway — but right now, he looks small. Like a boy who's terrified of his own feelings.
---
"Scott."
Scott stands in the doorway, fingers curled around the knob. "What do you want, Brian?"
His voice is flat. It has to be. Because if he lets it shake, if he lets it break — he knows he'll cave.
Brian shifts his weight, scuffing his sneaker on the step. "Can I come in?"
Scott hesitates, then steps back. "Five minutes."
---
They sit on the edge of his bed — but they don't touch.
They don't look at each other at first. Brian stares at his hands, thumb tapping an anxious beat on his knee. Scott watches the shadow their heads cast on his bedroom wall.
"Look, I know I messed up," Brian blurts out finally. "I know I've been… a coward."
Scott's laugh is short, bitter. "Understatement."
Brian flinches. "I just— I've never been this scared before. I've never… felt like this for anyone. You make me feel like I'm on fire and I don't know what to do with it."
Scott's throat tightens. Part of him wants to roll his eyes. Another part wants to crawl into Brian's lap and bury his face in that stupid hoodie that always smells like basketballs and clean soap.
But he doesn't move. "And what? You thought it was okay to hide me? To make me feel like I was just— convenient?"
Brian's voice cracks. "No. I didn't want to lose you. But I didn't want to lose— everything else either."
Scott's eyes sting. "So I'm just a trade-off."
"No! God, Scott— you're everything I want. That's the problem. I don't know how to want you without losing everything else."
---
The room is quiet. Scott can hear his heartbeat.
He thinks about the nights they spent tangled up, whispers and sweat and promises that felt real in the dark. He thinks about the stares in the hallway that felt like knives.
He thinks about the part of him that still loves Brian — stupid, reckless, unwavering. And the other part that wants to protect himself.
---
Brian looks up, eyes wet. "I'm trying. I swear to God, I'm trying. Nicky gave me hell. She's right. I don't want to break you. I don't want to break us."
Scott studies him for a long moment — searching for the lie. But there isn't one.
Brian's a mess, but the love is real.
Scott sighs, shoulders dropping. "Okay."
Brian's eyes widen. "Okay?"
Scott lifts a finger. "This doesn't mean you get me back. Not like before. We talk. We figure it out. But you don't get to touch me. You don't get to kiss me. Not until you know how to hold me like I'm worth it — out there too."
Brian nods, fast, hopeful. "Yeah. Yeah, okay. I'll do it. I'll do whatever it takes."
Scott gives him a small, sad smile. "Good. Then start by being here. And not running."
---
When Brian leaves that night, they don't touch. No desperate kisses, no hidden hands in the dark.
Just a long, heavy look at the door — like they're both trying to see if maybe they could be worth the fight.
Maybe.
---