[People always get involved in things they are not supposed to be. Some people do not love someone even after living with them for a whole decade, while some fall in love the instant they meet. Life is always unpredictable when it comes to love. Some may hold onto it for a long time, while for others, it degenerates over time. Love can be of a different type for everyone, but not every way of loving someone is appropriate.
There is also a unique type: the type where you love someone just because they were nice to you once. A type where you love a person by watching them from a distant perspective, like on TV, YouTube, or Instagram. A one-sided psychological bond where one person extends significant emotional energy, time, and interest, while the other person has no clue they exist. The first person is ready to sacrifice everything, but the one they follow is completely unaware of their existence.
The Parasocial relationship.
It can lead down two different roads for the person in that relationship. They can be comforted, gaining a sense of belonging and a path toward their own identity—especially those who have lived alone all their lives. They get to know who they are or what they can be because of that secondary person. Their life might change.
Or, in the case of a negative impact, the price can be completely ruined. The attachment can become too overwhelming. It can lead to an unhealthy emotional dependence, social isolation, and a love that cannot be cured. No matter how good a person is, they can always be led down an obscure path by their own deeds.]
[ *Huff* *Huff* *Huff*
Living in a small, drenched place, foil wraps and food plates were dumped all around him, with empty water bottles thrown on the ground. Posters of naked girls covered the walls, hiding holes in the plaster. Rats ran around the kitchen, trying to find something to eat, but there was nothing left except for a few pills. A stack of porn magazines sat in the corner, looking as though they hadn't been touched since they were bought.
In that dark room, with no way for light to enter, a man sat on the floor, staring at his computer screen with deep, intense, and lustful eyes. On the computer, he had opened a video taken from a body cam a while ago. The video showed Samayra handing him a coffee, smiling at him in a cute manner. He stared at the video and slid his hand over the screen.
After that, he lowered his pants, grabbed his penis gently, and rubbed it slowly back and forth. Stripping off all his clothes, he rubbed against the screen again, but this time with his penis. He paused the video at a point where he could see Samayra's whole body without any distraction, and this time, he began rubbing his dick more vigorously. He looked at her with an increasingly intense, lustful gaze.
Sticking out his tongue, he licked the screen, hoping to get a taste of Samayra. At last, he finished himself off right on the screen.
Breathing in a shallow manner, he looked at her image and asked himself,
"Why? Why can't you be with me?"
He rubbed his hand on the screen, smearing his cum across Samayra's face. He started crying in despair.
"Every time I tried to be with you, there was always a problem."
He remembered the last time he was about to get her, but...
"Out of nowhere, why did that man come? And why were you with him? You are not like this, and I know that."
Transitioning from crying to a furious laugh, he scratched himself and said,
"I get it. You are imprisoned with him. But don't worry, I will take you out of there, okay? I will protect you. Just wait a little longer."
His itching intensified, and he scratched himself more vigorously. The itching spread from his arms to his back, and up to his head. He instantly ran to the kitchen, causing all the mice to scatter as they saw him. He moved his hands frantically through the clutter, trying to find something.
"Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Found it."
He retrieved a bottle of medicine from behind the gas cylinder and engulfed the pills. As he took them, his vision started to blur. Colors roamed around him, and flowers emerged as if a meadow were forming. He felt like he was falling from high clouds. After a while, his mind became so overwhelmed that he collapsed to the ground, making a loud thud as his head hit the floor.
*Thud*
He smiled, visualizing himself standing in a valley. He ran up a hill where he saw a girl in a white dress waiting for him. As he moved up, he noticed the girl was viewing the sea from the crest. When he called out to her, she turned around, and he saw that it was Samayra waiting for him.
"You finally came to me."
"You are really here."
As she spoke, her clothes disappeared, and she stood in front of him naked, opening her arms wide and offering the same smile she had given him when she handed him the coffee.
"Come here, my darling."
"Uhhhhh."
He drooled as he walked up to her, losing himself in her arms. At that exact moment, his penis grew erect, and he began rubbing it aggressively once more. Thinking about her gave him a sense of comfort—a buildup of emotion to forget every deed.]
[Meanwhile, Dylan is sitting with Samayra at the dinner table, waiting for her to say something.]
A warm welcome after the chaos. The day might have been forgotten, but what happened was still within us. The day started with a light sense of its past, tomorrow night was bound to be tiring. After giving her the pills, I had come downstairs, lying on the couch with a tired smile on my face.
I was glad that Samayra was safe, but still, the tension surrounding her wasn't leaving me. I thought about it too much. What could have possibly happened? This thought didn't let me sleep the whole night. What could that person possibly have said to her that she couldn't tolerate?
"Has she fallen asleep?"
It was already 4:00 in the morning, and the rain wasn't stopping. It was so pitch black outside that it felt like 00:00 or 01:00 a.m. Since I couldn't sleep, I figured I could at least check on her.
I walked up to the room. I entered quietly, making no noise at all. Just a little peek, and then I would go. I walked in and saw her in bed. She was sleeping with no awareness of her surroundings, grabbing the blanket with her fingers so tightly that she clearly didn't want to let it go. Right now, she looked like a cub who didn't want to let her mother go. The pills were doing their work, she was fast asleep after our conversation.
I looked at her and smiled. As I was about to leave, I noticed that my second phone was beside her pillow. I reached out my hand to take it. Just as I was about to grab it, Samayra moved a little bit. She slid her hand out from under the blanket and grabbed my fingers.
....
I went completely blank for a moment. It didn't cross my mind whether moving would be a good idea or not. I looked at her sleeping in silence. Not wanting to wake her up, I just stood there. I smiled, it felt like having a little baby. I just looked at her the entire time.
After some time had passed, she turned over to the other side. I found the perfect moment to leave. I took my phone and slipped out of the room in silence. I came back downstairs and rested on the sofa. Finally, I felt like I could allow myself to rest. After that, I slept with ease for the remaining night.
The next morning, I prepared breakfast for both of us. Enjoying it at ease, she didn't say a single thing. I tried to be polite and calm, making her feel as though nothing bad had happened yesterday. I asked in a laughing tone,
"Didn't you like it? I thought it was your favorite."
"....."
She didn't say anything. Just rubbing her toes against each other, she stared down at her food. She was nervous, filled with so many thoughts that she had no words, but I could sense it myself.
"I wanted to tell you..."
Biting her lip intensely, she stopped mid-sentence. I waited for her. I wanted her to feel at ease just so she could open up to me.
Thirty minutes passed after that moment, but she still didn't say a word. I sat there, waiting patiently for her speech. I understood that it could still be hard for her to bring up something like her relationship in front of me.
What she had said last night gave me comfort, but I thought she still needed time to fully trust me. I got up from my chair, feeling a little disappointed, I had thought everything was fine between us, but it still wasn't.
"It's okay, Sam. You don't need to push yourself."
As I got up from my chair, she grabbed my t-shirt, stopping me from going anywhere. She trembled a bit before looking me in the eye.
"I know it's hard, but I want to share it with you."
Her eyes showed that she was confident. I sat back down and looked at her as she told me everything.
[Samayra told Dylan everything as she remembered what happened yesterday night after leaving his home.]
At the point when I entered the house, the rain had already started, and there was no sign of it stopping. I walked inside, looking around the house, everything was exactly as I had left it. I guess Julia still loves me, or else these things shouldn't have been here. I moved a bit further, and the space reminded me of the time when we were both so in love. I remembered our past moments together as I saw a little hanging monkey stuffed toy on the wall.
"Hey, hey, can I buy it?"
"This monkey? But you already have so many of them at home."
"I know, but look how good it looks!"
I had pleaded with her, stepping my feet continuously on the ground and making a pouty face. Now that I remember it, it was really childish, but I had wanted it so badly. She took it out of my hands and stared at it from different angles, looking at it with bored eyes. She said to me,
"What is even special about it?"
She tossed it back into the cart. Grabbing my hand, she led me away from it.
"Let's go. You shouldn't waste money on stuff like this."
I just stared back at it as we moved further and further away. After that, we roamed the entire carnival, but my mood was ruined. I didn't talk to her, nor did I look at her.
"What happened? Why are you so upset?"
"Nothing happened."
"Are you upset because of that stupid toy?"
"I don't care what you think. Just don't talk to me."
She looked at me with guilt in her eyes, though she pretended like she didn't care.
"Okay, be upset. I am going to grab an ice cream."
She left me there, and I sat down with no hope of getting it back. It wasn't fair. After a while, she came back to me holding ice cream cones in her hands. She waved one at me, hoping I would react.
"Ta-da! Wouldn't this make my little Sam's mood better?"
I didn't react. I turned my neck in the other direction and gave her a pouty look.
"Then would this be fine?"
She raised her hand toward me, and what she held made me smile. It was the monkey toy. I grabbed it, completely overjoyed. I hugged her tightly, thanking her repeatedly.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you..."
"Okay, enough of that."
She stopped me and leaned into my ear. Speaking softly, she said,
"But you need to give me something in return."
I looked at her and replied quietly,
"Okay, whatever you wish tonight."
And now, here we are. It has already been more than two years since that day, and our relationship has taken this turn. Sometimes I wonder what could have gone wrong. But right now, it doesn't matter, because this time, I am going to make up for everything. I walked a bit further, and there was a noise coming from the living room.
I walked up there, and what I saw made me unable to believe my eyes. Julia was on the sofa with another girl. Looking at the position they were in, I couldn't even flinch. They were both completely naked, with no awareness of anything around them.
Julia kissed her deeply and bit her lip, but the girl didn't flinch for a second. Julia moved her hands all around the girl's body. She kissed her more and more intensely. Starting from her cheek, she moved down to her neck, and then to her chest.
She grabbed one breast with her left hand and reached down for the other. Julia came close and rotated her tongue around the nipple.
After a while, she caught the nipple with her teeth and pulled at it. Making her scream more and more, the girl felt intense pleasure. It was a moment of pure nirvana for them. While closing her eyes, Julia opened her mouth wide and swallowed her whole boob. As she did it, the girl screamed and grabbed Julia by the neck.
[The girl opened her eyes and saw that Samayra was staring at her with tears in her eyes. Mia smiled.]
I wasn't in my right mind after that. The only thought running through my head was, 'Killing myself might be the only thing left for me.'
That girl first gave me a look, and then she bit Julia on her neck. Still staring me right in the eyes as she drooled, she gave me a look that told me, 'There is nothing left for you to come back to.'
The girl looked Julia in the eyes and said,
"You have done so much for me. Now it's my turn."
Julia lay on the sofa, completely exhausted from it all. The girl slowly reached her hand inside her vagina and pulled out a glass dildo—the very one I had told Julia I didn't want to use, but she had forced it inside me anyway. Right now, it was inside Julia.
The girl took it out and licked it, moving her tongue around it while opening her mouth incredibly wide. She put it inside her own mouth, tasting Julia. After that, she inserted it into herself with pleasure.
There was no sign of her being in pain the way I once was. She moved toward Julia and started licking her vagina, then began biting it. It looked as though Julia wasn't even in her right senses. She was enjoying it so much that no coherent words came out of her mouth, she was only panting there.
I looked at it all and felt like I was about to puke. I covered my mouth and ran out. I just felt like there was nowhere left for me to go. I ran and ran, wishing this nightmare would end, but it didn't.
Julia didn't notice me even once, since I was behind her. I eventually ended up at the bridge where you saw me. I was about to end my life, but you came and stopped me again.
I listened to her entire story, and there were no words left for me to say. That feeling of being left behind, someone who was yours being taken over—the emotion of being crushed under the rubble of your own guilt is incredibly hard to swallow. I lowered my eyes, shifted my neck side to side, and pretended not to let it bother me.
"I am sorry. I guess she was right—I am just a worthless person. Not good for anything or anyone."
She rubbed her eyes and face repeatedly. All the tear marks were visibly stained on her face. Not only that, but her eyes were also turned red from crying. She stood up from the chair and walked into the living room, trying to stop her tears.
She stood there and rubbed her face more and more, but the tears wouldn't stop falling. I looked at her with sadness, my mind completely blank on what to do.
I thought so hard. Is there anything I can do? Something from me that can make her feel relieved, anything to make her stop feeling worthless? Think, think, Dylan, think about what could be best right now.
Eventually, I remembered something—a moment from my own past when everything had gone wrong for me, and what Nathan had done to make me stop crying.
I got up from my chair and walked over to her. Facing the window, she wasn't even looking at me, still rubbing her eyes impatiently. I came close to her and slid my hands around her waist. I rested my cheek on her shoulder and waited there, locking my hands together over her stomach.
"Don't feel like that."
I whispered into the quiet room.
"You are not worthless."
As he stepped up to me, I was shocked for a moment. I trembled a little bit watching him beside me, which scared me slightly. I saw his face was so close to mine. His arms wrapped around me made me feel protected. Him being this close actually relieved my pain.
The words he just said to me felt like a shield of safety. I stood there, wrapped in his embrace, wishing this feeling would never end. I sensed his breathing matching mine in a slow rhythm. Every time his breath brushed against my neck, it felt amazing.
I could even hear his heartbeat, it was so clear and loud that it sounded like a slow flute to me. I listened as it synchronized with mine.
"There is nothing wrong with you. Don't let yourself be bothered by what she says."
His words were so calming that my eyes widened and all my tears vanished.
"I don't care what she says. But you are not a nobody. You are someone special to me."
My eyes widened even more. I raised my right arm and held his hand, staying in the same position. I calmly reacted to him. I smiled and slipped out of his arms, turning to face him. I rubbed one eye from the side and hugged him tightly with pure emotion.
"Thank you, Dylan. Thank you."
He just stood there with his mouth slightly open in surprise. But then he smiled and hugged me back. We both stood there for a while before moving. After a moment, it became a bit awkward. I didn't know what to say, but before I could speak, he said,
"Okay, okay, why don't you eat first? You must be hungry, right?"
I looked at him, and we both moved to the table. He held my hand as we walked over. I ate my breakfast while he watched me eat. It was the first truly tasty breakfast I had enjoyed in a very long time.
After breakfast was over, we both cleaned everything up. He swept the floor while I washed the dishes. Once we cleared everything, we sat down and talked with each other.
"So, what's next?"
"I mean, you tell me. What are you thinking of doing?"
"I don't know right now. I am just feeling too overwhelmed by everything. I want to take some time for myself."
He looked at me, and in a nervous tone, he said,
"You know, you can stay here as long as you want."
I looked at him and said in a serious manner,
"Dylan, I know you want what's best for me. But right now, I want to explore. I want some time alone."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"But where will you go?"
I hesitated a bit before saying anything. I couldn't let him know the truth.
"My parents live in the city. I will go back to their home."
Dylan sighed, appearing visibly relieved after hearing my words.
"That's good. At least you can be with the people who love you."
I smiled, but for some reason, I was not happy on the inside.
"If you don't mind... can we still meet?"
"Of course. You are my best friend, stupid."
I don't know what it is, but being with him always gives me the comfort I crave. How could I ever say no to that?
We smiled as we both chose to forget what had happened until now.