I remember telling my mother how my hometown looked really familiar.
"Of course, it looks familiar, you've been here before," she replied.
Ah well, that makes sense haha. I ended up going to a different elementary school in the same district, since California didn't have middle schools and just combined them with elementary schools. 6th Grade in California sure had some memories I was not very fond of. Everyone kept on telling me that the world doesn't revolve around me. I could have sworn I'd just been talking about Maryland and how great a school it was. Everyone just kept on bullying and judging me….
Middle School kids man…. They will bully folks who are different, shaking my head. I heard this one guy named "Asher" had a crush on me. One classmate was all like, "Asher has a crush on Fen," and I thought I had to force myself to like Asher back. Asher was just your average athletic middle-school boy, oddly popular. He thought I was ugly, of course, so he didn't like me back. I recall daydreaming about doing romantic things with him, though. He wasn't anything special to me aside from being a learning point for 6th-grade me.
[Name: Asher
Age: 11
Skills: Athletic (common)
Relationship status: classmate
Perspective of him: Fake Crush.]
I did befriend this girl named Dante. She was my first ever friend in this middle school. She also became my long-term friend, and we've been friends ever since.
[Player #2
Name: Dante
Age: 11
Skills: Artist (uncommon)
Astrology Sun Sign: Leo
Relationship status: Friendship.]
Dante was a kind individual. She sent me a happy birthday message with puppy photos via Gmail back then. I doubt anyone else did that for me back then.
I doubt there was that much that I may want to say here, honestly. I got bullied by a group of friends who I thought were my friends. Turns out that they weren't my friends at all…. I cried thanks to them. Oh well, at least in the present day, I blocked them on social media for acting like arseholes.
Ah, yeah, I also cried at the beginning of 7th grade; no one cared as I thought they would. The staff were concerned for me. I think I was having a panic attack back then. I talked to this girl named Blackfire often; she was an eh friend. I tried to befriend Lamp and Blackfire in 7th grade, but it didn't turn out well.
[Time skip to 8th grade]
[Player #3
Name: Lamp
Age: 13
Relationship status: classmate
Astrology Sun Sign: Leo
Friend group: same as Dante and Black Aries]
[Player #4
Name: Black Aries
Age: 13
Relationship status: friend
Astrology Sun Sign: Aries
Friend group: Same as Dante and Black Aries]
During the summer between 7th grade and 8th grade. I befriended this guy online through Roblox. His name was Tiger. I chose this name for him after researching what his actual name meant. Apparently, it was a literal translation meaning "animal." I thought, "Hm, why not name this guy a literal animal lmfao?"
I met Tiger in this Roblox game called "Prison Break," I believe. We ended up friending each other on Roblox. Eventually, we added each other on Twitter, and I considered him my best friend for a while. He wasn't a bad friend; he told me about being [Neurological Variant]. I don't know why, but he decided to tell me that he had [Attention Insufficient-Hyperactive Disorganization] and [Asperger's Vast Disorganization]. At that time, I had no idea what those [Disorganizations] meant, nor did I really think of it that much either.
[Player #5
Name: Tiger
Relationship status: Friendship
Neurological Variants: Asperger's Vast Disorganization
Common Ground: Roblox.]
I wasn't sure why he chose to tell me, of all people. Apparently, his friends didn't believe him when he told them about being [Neurological Variant]. How I wish I had been diagnosed with [Asperger's Vast Disorganization] at an early age… perhaps my life would have been easier had I been diagnosed with it early on.
The 8th Grade Year was an eventful year….. I had my first-ever official crush on this girl named Emma... Despite her actual name apparently meaning "magic" or "illusion" according to Google…. She was no magician, and certainly an illusion of a crush I had. I was truly delusional to have a crush on an average classmate like her, who would love to gossip with her friends. How I even got a crush on Emma was because of the fact that she spoke to me ONE time!
[Name: Emma
Relationship status: Classmate
Perspective of her: Real Crush]
"Hi [Damien], how are you?" She conversed.
I got nervous in replying back and for some reason… I started to have a crush on this average classmate of mine in elementary school. It ended up being a hot topic of gossip in our grade. I mean, she was dating my "old crush" Asher. Somehow, I still had a crush on Emma regardless, because I didn't know she was dating Asher until later on.
There was an important event where I spoke to my tablemates, who were guessing who my crush was. One particular girl, whom I will name… Rebecca… because I hate her and I tend to hate people named "Rebecca"s for some reason.
[Name: Rebecca
Age: 13
Relationship status: Classmate
Perspective of her: hatred]
She ended up telling this gossip spreader, Shane, about my crush on Emma. I'm going to call the gossip spreader Shane because I'm stealing it from The Walking Dead show.
I always disliked Shane as a character, so this guy will take the name of Shane lol.
[Name: Shane
Age: 13
Title: Gossip Spreader
Perspective of him: Hatred]
Word got out that I had a crush on Emma. Rumors ended up spreading around. My fear about the fact that I was queer was leaked to my classmates. I mean, I was forced to come out as queer without my consent at age 13 thanks to Rebecca and Shane….. Rebecca had the audacity to tell me that liking girls as a girl is "unnatural". Well, humans are the only animal species to be so homophobic against gay people. There have been articles and evidence that penguins can be gay. Male penguins will partner with other male penguins. The same thing with female penguins. Honestly, I think we humans are the only animal species that make up complicated social rules that don't even make sense.
One of Emma's friends would encourage me to go talk to Emma. I did as she told me, but Emma felt I was giving off creepy vibes. I had no idea what I was doing, though; I was just following orders from Emma's friend. Somehow, later on in the year, I made Emma cry, and all of a sudden, her group of friends was giving me death glares. They act like I stabbed Emma or something, sheesh. My bad, I suck at social cues and have no idea what drugs people are on to obtain these "normal social cues" abilities.
Looking back on it, maybe I should have really tried to stab Emma in a psychological, social manner for the bullshit that she did to me....
[Name: Nemo
Age: 13
Relationship status: classmate
Description: Has a crush on me, apparently]
I recall that Emma's group of friends had joined Nemo's group. The whole group was yelling out that Nemo had a crush on me back then. Nemo eventually asked for my number, so I gave it to him. He got mad that I didn't answer my phone when it was at home. He expected me to answer my phone at home, and he called just as school let out. At the time, I wouldn't bring my phone to school. I find it illogical for Nemo and his friends to expect me to answer my phone. I wasn't like Nemo and everyone else when I brought my phone to school.
I got Emma's phone number through "orders of Emma's friend," and when we called, I ended up talking about my group of friends a lot. I accidentally said one of my friends' names because I made her the first friend. Emma somehow got the impression that I had a crush on one of my friends…? Which I didn't…?
Emma thought I had a crush on Lamp, but I didn't. When I spoke to the friend group Dante and Lamp were with. Lamp was really confused at first and said, "I'm straight". I was also really confused about how Emma thought I had a crush on Lamp.
When my friend group found out that I had a crush on Emma, they were really surprised.
[Player #6
Name: Shelly
Age: 13
Relationship status: Friend
Astrology Sun Sign: Sagittarius
Friend Groupmates: Dante, Lamp, Black Aries]
Shelly had wondered why I never told our friend group about my crush on Emma. From my perspective, I thought they wouldn't care at all.
During the spring of 8th grade, I would become closer friends with Shelly. I was pretty good at math in 8th grade. I mean, I got a 100% in 8th grade. I ended up teaching Shelly about the problems that she got wrong. I would often sit with Shelly in math class, too. She was in the same friend group that I was in after all.
Everyone in my friend group and I would get awards at the end of 8th grade for having good academic grades. I mean, almost all of us, except for Dante, were Asian after all.
Shelly once argued with me about why on earth I hadn't told the friend group first. Now that I thought of it, Shelly did make sense of her argument.
My homeroom teacher in 8th grade was fired for allegedly threatening a student. I first thought she would never do that. She was a great teacher after all, how could a student report her? It led to her being fired, which meant our homeroom teacher always had a substitute and kept switching among them. After around a month of us having to have substitute after substitute. Our homeroom teacher came back to teach for one day. She looked so tired and sad. She was just an elderly lady who had gray hair. I suppose she took her jokes too far with one student, and that student felt threatened enough to report her.
I was in the class of 2018 when I graduated 8th grade. My classmates and I all wrote our names in this big "18" logo on the back of a fabric design. Meanwhile, the front of this fabric design would feature our middle school's logo: a Viking. This design would eventually become a hoodie or a shirt, giving people the option to buy and wear it. I know Black Aries got it as a hoodie; meanwhile, I brought it as a shirt.
That was the end of elementary school and middle school. There was quite a lot of drama that occurred back then.
After graduating from 8th grade, I would register for this math class to prepare for high school math. I know in my high school, it would be called an accelerated math class. It was just an advanced math class considered an honors class, which means students could have a higher GPA than the average student.
I believe I took this math class during the summer after graduating from 8th grade, but I haven't started 9th grade yet. It was rather difficult for me, but I ended up earning an A in that class. I remember struggling with a specific math concept. This class made me think I could handle an accelerated math class in high school instead of the regular one, but boy, was I wrong.
Then I actually started my Freshman year of High School.
[Character Profile:
Player #0
Name: Damien Xhao
Age: 13-14
Grade year: 9th grade]
I met this girl named Amara on an Instagram birthday page. The Instagram post was about finding one's birthday twin. I decided to reply to Amara's comment, and soon we became friends.
[Player #7
Name: Amara
Age: 14-15
Relationship status: Classmate
Astrology Sun Sign: Virgo
Perspective of her: new fun friend]
We would eventually have fun chatting with each other to the point where Amara once went, "Alright, it's getting late. I had fun speaking with you, but I should rest now. Good night."
"Good night," I texted to return the favor.
Eventually, while I was friends with her, I began to feel something for her.
[Borderline Powerful Disorganization has been unlocked
Borderline Powerful Disorganization has been Triggered.]
I didn't know why, but I always felt compelled to get Amara's attention. For some reason, I just kept on trauma dumping to her. Amara once told me she couldn't handle all my problems because she had her own. I don't know why I did what I did, but for some reason…..I blocked her on Instagram. Her reaction was one of devastating shock at my actions.
It felt like I needed to obsess over her for some reason; I couldn't control it…my emotions simply took over. The next thing I knew, I was anxiously texting her again, then unsending my messages. It annoyed her so much that she had to tell me to "f**k off," and I accepted it by saying "okay." For the next 6 months, I would spend it being depressed over her. I was exhausting to deal with when my energy was nothing but negativity, with little to no positivity. Who would want to deal with a person like me anyway?
[Character Profile:
Player #0
Name: Damien Xhao
Age: 14
Emotional Status: Abnormal]
[Massive Depressive Disorganization has been triggered]