Either I'm worried about you," Mingyu's voice pierced through the thick silence that enveloped the guest room, his tone laced with concern.
"Just leave me alone... PleShe's manareply, your voice rising as it trembled with the weight of your emotions. The door felt like a fortress shielding you from the outside world, the memory of what happened with Jungkook still fresh and painful in your mind.
"It's already 1 PM! How long will you keep yourself locked in there? Please talk to me. Did Jungkook do something to upset you?" His voice was persistent, almost pleading, as he tried to reach you through the barrier you'd created.
You curled up under the blanket on the bed, feeling like a lost puppy seeking comfort from the world. It was as if the fabric had become a cocoon, shielding you from the harsh realities outside.
"He... doesn't care," you whispered softly to yourself.
Flashback
"I only use them for a while. I don't feel anything towards them.
But it's different when it comes to you. If you accept someone, it's because you have feelings for them. "
End of flashback
After he finished talking, I suddenly felt very confused. His tone made me think he might still be doing it with others, just like he did in prison. My mind was racing, and I felt the urge to ask him about my troubling suspicion—had he been with Jennie? I dreaded thinking he had been lying to me the whole time. When he didn't say anything, the silence felt overwhelming. I realized the painful truth at that moment: he had been dishonest. It crashed down on me like a heavyweight, confirming all my worries.
And how should I take that, Jungkook? That it's ok? Thay you can fuck whoever you want and then come to me, and why not, do the same thing to me as well? What the fuck is wrong with you? You really don't care how I would feel? You don't care about my feelings? Because you know damn well how I feel about you. If you don't, then you are an idiot.
How can you utter those sweet, affectionate words to me? How can you caress me like that after you've been with that girl?
How can you inflict this sort of pain on me? Didn't you consider how I might feel at all?
I genuinely believed you cared, even just a little. Was I wrong to think that?
As if on cue, a key jingled, followed by the sound of the door creaking open. You heard a soft protest escape your lips, a distant murmur of defeat, before instinctively pulling the blanket up over your head, seeking refuge in its fabric.
Mingyu quietly slid onto the bed beside you, his voice low and gentle, "What did he do?"
With a heavy heart, you replied, your voice muffled beneath the layers of the blanket, "I'm just so incredibly tired of trying to make sense of him. I promised I'd always be there for him. I vowed to protect him and to love him without reservations. But then he left me hanging, and I came to terms with that. I was ready to accept that he could be with whoever he wants if he doesn't have feelings for me."
"But why does he lie to me? Why act so sweetly, so warmly? Why dangle hope in front of me if he's just going to continue sleeping with whomever crosses his path? Am I nothing more than another face to him? Does he truly see me the same way he sees them—just another person he can have a physical relationship with?"
Silent, Mingyu absorbed your words, but you could feel his tension radiating from beside you.
"..."
"It's because of Jennie?" he cautiously asked, trying to piece together the puzzle of your pain.
You fell silent, the weight of the moment pressing heavily upon you.
"I'm so sorry, Y/N," Mingyu continued softly after a moment. "Shehis only has me here in Seoul. She needed a place to stay while continuing her studies. I thought it might help Jungkook—thought having someone closer to his age could be beneficial for him. I never imagined something like this would unfold. I didn't even consider Jennie…"
"It's not your fault," you reassured him, your voice calm yet heavy with emotion. "You don't need to explain or apologize—even though I know you feel you should. You're free to bring whoever you want into your space. Besides, I'm beginning to see how he interacts with others. Now I can grasp what I truly am to him."
"He doesn't care about Jennie," Mingyu insisted, gently stroking your hair through the blanket, an attempt to comfort you.
"It doesn't really matter anymore," you responded, your voice barely above a whisper. "What truly matters is how he behaves with me. How he perceives me."
"He cares about you more than you might realize."
"Then why does he lie?" you questioned, frustration creeping into your tone. "Why is he so self-centered?"
"He doesn't understand, Y/N. You know how he is used to… " Mingyu paused, sensing your discomfort. "And you weren't here, so…"
"I need to evaluate him, but he won't let me. So you must do it. Maybe this way you can start to understand what's really going on with him."
"I can't," you whispered, feeling the weight of despair settling deep in your chest. "I can't stand looking into his eyes anymore. I can't keep pretending that…"
"Then stop pretending," Mingyu encouraged thoughtfully. "Don't continue to act like everything is perfectly fine when it most certainly is not."
You burrowed deeper under the blanket, seeking comfort as you reached out for Mingyu. He welcomed the gesture, allowing you to rest your head on his knees as he continued to gently stroke your hair.
"Show me your face," he urged softly.
Shaking your head, you inched closer to him, wanting the quiet solitude of his presence.
With a soft sigh, Mingyu continued to caress your head, his fingers trailing through your hair.
"Have you ever considered that maybe he's scared of disappointing you?" he asked.
You nodded slowly, your thoughts swirling. "He pushed me away. He couldn't even meet my eyes, which I found strange. I think he felt guilty about everything. But what am I supposed to do with that?"
"Talk to him—share everything you've been holding inside."
"I can't. You don't truly understand."
"I believe I do. Maybe you're more frightened than he is. Isn't that right, Y/N?"
"I can't lose myself. I cannot afford that."
"What do you mean?" Mingyu asked, brows furrowing in confusion. "You are the bravest and strongest person I've ever known."
You shook your head vehemently. "I'm not. I may seem that way, but inside, I'm completely different. Whenever he talks to me, smiles at me, or touches me, I feel like I'm losing myself completely. I'm terrified that I will accept everything he throws at me—his whims, his unpredictability. I fear crossing my own boundaries, and if I do, what will I become? What about my pride? Even just discussing him makes me feel vulnerable. This isn't life; it's madness. It's sickness."
Then you added resolutely, "Keep her away from me. If she dares to provoke me again, I swear I won't hold back. I will hurt her."
***
"Lonely?" The question hung in the air as Jennie stepped into Jungkook's room, her voice soft yet laced with curiosity.
Jungkook lay sprawled on his bed, his gaze fixated on the ceiling, eyes glazed as if searching for answers in the patterns above. The room was dimly lit, shadows dancing across the walls, mirroring the tumult of thoughts swirling in his mind.
"Get out," he murmured, barely above a whisper, his heart heavy with unexpressed emotions.
Jennie took a step closer, a playful smile gracing her lips as she leaned against the door frame. "Don't you feel at least a bit relieved that she'll be leaving soon?" she asked, her tone teasing yet earnest.
Jungkook turned his head slightly, meeting her gaze. His expression was a mix of confusion and frustration.
"I mean, you do know she'll eventually leave, right?" Jennie continued, a seductive glint in her eyes as she glided towards his bed, the air thickening with tension. "There's really nothing here for her to stay for."
"Get out," Jungkook repeated, his voice firmer this time, but the quiet desperation lingered, entwined in every syllable. He looked away, torn between his feelings and the weight of her words.
"Why? Did you forget how amazing we felt in each other's company? " Jennie placed one knee on the bed before straddling Jungkook's lower body.
His eyes narrowed.
"Or should I remind you? " She whispered into his ear before licking his earlobe.
"I want you. She doesn't. Don't you want to be with someone who truly wants you? "
Jungkook closed his eyes tightly as his chest constricted in pain.
***
You were curled up under the blanket on Mingyu's knees, tears silently streaming down your cheeks as you tried to stifle your sobs. The dim light in the room barely illuminated the sadness that enveloped you, and you were oblivious to Jungkook's entrance. Mingyu, however, was acutely aware of him, his presence palpable in the quiet air. As he listened to you quietly sniffle, he reached under the blanket and passed you a tissue, his heart aching for you. You took the tissue with trembling hands, sinking deeper into the comforting warmth of Mingyu's embrace, your despair evident in your tight ball of sorrow.
"And I still can't bring myself to hate him," you confessed through shaky breaths, each word laced with pain. "How could I? No matter what he does, I would forgive him so easily." The weight of your emotions hung heavily in the air.
Jungkook's heart sank at the sight of you in such a vulnerable state. It shattered his preconceived notion of your unbreakable spirit; he thought you could withstand any storm. But he was the one who slowly chipped away at your resilience, who snatched your joy from you, leaving sorrow in his wake. The realization hit him like a wave, and he bit his lip in agony before stepping backward, overwhelmed. He turned and fled the room, each step echoing his inner turmoil.
Mingyu felt the need to console you even more, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head before he stood up. "I'll be right back," he promised softly before leaving in pursuit of Jungkook, hoping to confront the cause of your pain.
***
"Jungkook, what do you think you're doing?" Mingyu demanded, urgency lacing his words as he caught up to Jungkook and grasped his arm firmly. "Wouldn't it be better to talk to her? To apologize instead of running away?"
"Let me go!" Jungkook yelled, his frustration boiling over as he forcefully pushed Mingyu away, desperation flickering in his eyes.
"Damn it, Jungkook! Just talk to her. She deserves the chance to understand," Mingyu implored, his own heart racing as he tried to reach out.
"Didn't you see her? How can I fix this?" Jungkook's voice cracked, tears threatening to spill from his eyes as anger and despair battled within him. "What's done is done. I can't take anything back. I can't turn back time. And even if I could, I'd still be the same. From now on, I'm just going to keep making the same stupid mistakes. Look at me! I'm so broken... I've lost myself without her. I thought I knew who I was with her, but now? I'm just... lost." He sank to the ground, covering his face with trembling hands, a deep exhaustion settling in.
"Why did you sleep with Jennie, Jungkook? Was that really necessary?" Mingyu pressed, desperate to peel back the layers of Jungkook's hurt.
"She was there," Jungkook retorted, a defensive edge creeping into his voice.
Mingyu raised his eyebrows in disbelief, incredulous at the shallow justification. "That's your excuse?"
"She wasn't around anymore," Jungkook exclaimed, frustration bubbling over. "Y/N was gone, and I couldn't get rid of those stupid memories of her. Her voice... her touch... they haunted me. I had to find a way to drown it all out. I couldn't sleep; I couldn't focus on anything else because I kept thinking about her, and it drove me insane!" He stopped, his voice trailing off as the weight of his words sank in.
"... you missed her, didn't you?" Mingyu ventured carefully. "It hurt so much that you just wanted to escape the pain?"
Jungkook's eyes darkened, his expression shifting. "I thought I'd never see her again. So why not sleep with whoever I want? It's not like anything was happening between us. No promises were made."
Mingyu's gaze narrowed, frustration building within him. "No promises? Do you even realize that promises aren't necessary when you genuinely care about someone? From what I see, she cares a great deal about you. And you, Jungkook? Your feelings for her are painfully obvious. You love her."
"Love her?" Jungkook let out a bitter laugh, a hollow sound that echoed around them. "Do you really think I'm capable of loving anyone? What the hell is wrong with you? Love? You mean that thing I did with Jennie? Or that thing they invoked to get close to me?"
"No," Mingyu replied firmly, standing his ground. "I'm talking about the love she's shown you all this time. Did she ever seem fake to you? Did she ask for anything in return? All she ever wanted was for you to be happy and to treat her with respect. That's all."
"Yeah, that was all," Jungkook said bitterly. "Because she's so damn perfect. Because she will not, even in a million years, be able to hurt someone. Because she... It isn't me.
Do you know how suffocating it is to feel stuck? To not know good from bad? To be overwhelmed with frustration and hatred? Why me? Why do I feel so broken compared to everyone else?"
"I can't stay near her," Jungkook said finally, a tremor in his voice. "Because I will want more from her, and I'll end up breaking her heart all over again."
The heaviness of his words hung in the air, a stark revelation of the internal struggle he faced, a battle that felt insurmountable.