Nicholas did pull through since then, I had never heard a more dedicated man in my entire life, if I had to say, I was almost so sorry for him. He did everything to make it up to me. He would always be there when I needed him, he would shrug off most of the rumors and whisper for the both of us. I know we were getting attention from left and right.
And I being someone who hated the spotlight, he made sure, it was always center to him. I was grateful for it.
"Alright tell me, how can someone like you have no one to actually talk to in real life?" Nicholas asked. We were finally hanging out like had planned out, school was sure a hell of ride, but we manage to fit time to meet with one another.
"Nicholas, do I have to spend spelling out words to you why no one wants to be my friend?"
"Liz and Yura seems like good girls? They're your friend right?"
"Other than them." I shrug, "No one else wants to be my friend Nicholas, and I think you might get the gist why people choose not to."
"Oh come one, in this centuries? People still have the thought of not being friends with you? Because of what? you disabilities?"
"You don't know how many people would rather spend their time trying to avoid me as much as possible, I didn't think the world was going to be that kind of world, but as I remember the first time I recall, someone cursing out in their lungs because I was in their way, I knew that equality I was searching for was done for." I remembered that day, as a little girl with big dreams, I was always thought that the world was too big for someone like me. Well, dad always thing that's the case, but I didn't want to believe in that.
At that time, my world was only limited to my dad, so he was my world and he was nice. He was perfect and I thought that's how the world was. But when I saw the person cursing out I knew the world was just a thin crust to the bigger world I was going ahead.
"It must have been a traumatizing thing to happened."
But it wasn't, I remembered how the world was going to be different than what I had know, and I knew that. But I wasn't so scared at all. I guess it's because of how I had copped up with the hit of reality.
"I wasn't scared. Sure, I could never forget what they did, but it wasn't a trauma for me to be pulled back, it was a step where I had to breakthrough." Nicholas hummed in amusement.
"Well, it seems like you made halfway to where you are heading, as far as I know, you don't seem to back down from a fight."
I gave him a small smile, one of those tired ones you give when someone says something that touches a little too close to home.
"Maybe," I said. "Or maybe I'm just stubborn."
Nicholas leaned back in his chair, the evening light casting soft shadows across his jaw. "There's a thin line between stubbornness and strength. Sometimes, you don't know which one it is until everything's over."
I looked away for a second, fingers tracing the rim of my cup. As my fingers losely touch the smoothness of the wood - smoothen by time. "Maybe I don't want to wait until everything's over to find out."
He nodded slowly, then tilted his head. "So what's the plan now? Keep breaking through every crust until you find the core?"
I let out a breathy laugh. "If there is a core. For all I know, it's just layers all the way down. And I'll keep digging until I either reach it… or I burn out."
Nicholas studied me with those sharp eyes of his, the ones that always seemed to see more than you told. "You won't burn out," he said, quietly. "You don't burn, you adapt. That's what makes you different."
And I didn't know what to say to that—because maybe he was right. Or maybe I was just good at pretending I wasn't already a little bit on fire.
"You are a very interesting induvial Anaya Moore." I smiled at his compliment.
"How about you Nicholas White, mister know-it-all, mister every-knows-you?" I chuckled and he laughs back.
"Unlike you, I'm making sure I don't burn to the core, Anaya."
"Why is that? Don't you have a goal in life?"
"I do, and maybe it's a bit different than yours, I plan to welcome everyone who is running a marathon to that crust, I am happy with where I am." He said, "I'm not as brave as you to run through the end of layers, whether you burn or not, it's not that for me, you still ran. I am comply to be stuck here."
"Everyone is allow to leave Nicholas."
"You won't know, what I had to get to stand where I am now, Anaya. I'm not easy to understand by many, yes. A lot of people do know me, if you want to know, I like being in the spotlight, it was a guilty pleasure of mine. But to get where I am, I don't think I could ever give it away or risk it."
"But life, seems more fun when you life it riskier don't you think so?"
"Not when everyone is looking at your way, and you know they are." He said, "I admire you Anaya, despite your disabilities you blend it, is it because you can't physically see or because you don't want to?"
"Both I guess."
"Then I hope you know, sometimes seeing everything for the real deal, is not as pretty as you thought."
I tilted her head slightly, lips curling into a faint, knowing smile. "I know that. I may not see things the way you do, but I've felt enough to understand the weight of truth."
There was a pause—gentle, like the moment before rain touches the ground.
"It's funny," she continued, her voice softer now, "how people think blindness is about darkness. But it's not. It's about light too—too much of it, too little of it, or simply not the right kind. And sometimes, I think it's a mercy."
He looked at her for a long second, "So, what do you do when the truth isn't pretty?"
I turned toward the sound of his voice. "I still face it. I just don't let it define everything I am. I let it pass through me, like sound. It echoes, it lingers… but it never stays forever."
He smiled faintly. "You make it sound so easy."
"It's not," I said simply. "But then again, neither is living with eyes wide open and still choosing to look away."