Ivan
"That's none of your business."
I'm confused and angry, which is not a good combination.
Nefretiri is fighting me, but she's also afraid. She doesn't want to talk about this, but we need to. Unfortunately, her reaction is to be defensive; mine is to be a soldier on a mission. That means this is going to be messy. At least neither of us is yelling.
"That's where you're wrong."
I take that back.
Several tables around us turn in our direction, forcing me to push back the anger and my wolf.
He wants to take over, needing to make her see that her pain is ours. Nefretiri wouldn't know anything about what a real werewolf goes through when the bond awakens, but he doesn't care. In his mind, she'll want to know everything once she sees us. It's a nice dream, but not realistic.
"What happens to you is my business." This time, I'm calmer and taking several deep breaths.
"No, it isn't," she held up her hand, showing me the ugliest ring I've ever seen. It was a bad design, the gold was dull, and the diamonds were cheap. I hate jewelry, but I know a lot about it. This wasn't worth more than a hundred dollars, and no thought was put into it. "Like I told you, I'm married and spoken for."
"You think a cheap piece of gold and some rejected diamonds mean anything to me?" They might've if she were showing me the thing because she cared. It's obvious she doesn't. Nefretiri hates the ring more than I do. "You don't want to defend him. So, cut the crap and talk to me."
"Why?"
"You're mine, that's why."
"Bullshit," she scoffed, turning away to glare at the other table. "I want to go."
"No, you don't…"
I would've argued more, but they called our order, so I had to get it.
"I got you a hot dog, too. I hope that's okay," Setting her food in front of her, I sat down, hoping we could eat before trying to talk again.
"I'm not hungry," she lied, and it was my turn to call her out.
"That's not what your stomach's screaming."
Instead of trying to argue, I grabbed a fry, letting it brush against her lips. It could've been called inappropriate, but I'm glad she's fighting. It soothes my wolf. He likes feeding her and feeling like he's providing for our mate. As an Alpha, my instincts are wired differently. All wolves experience the urge to provide for their own. However, an Alpha's biology makes them more attuned to provide for multiple wolves. It's worse when it comes to our mates.
At first, she refuses, pursing her lips, but it only lasts a second as the hunger takes over. I nearly lost a finger for it, too. That's all it took. The fry was gone, and she picked up her burger like nothing else mattered. It was heartbreaking and funny, so I wasn't sure if I should laugh or growl. I opted to eat, since I doubted she'd appreciate either.
We ate in silence, the tension gone, replaced by food. It gave me a preview of what our lives could be like: sitting across from each other and eating a meal, just without the trauma. I liked the idea of that. We could be happy and at peace, and even though I might not deserve it, I want it.
"Want some pizza?" I was impressed. Nefretiri ate everything as quickly as I did. It's rare to see a human keep up with a werewolf. "Half and half?"
"Yeah…" she hesitated, but the hunger was still there. So, she didn't fight as hard, grabbing two slices and devouring them before I could grab one.
She looked better, which was a relief.
'Are you sure you don't want to tell Aunt Sierra?' Vince asked. 'I haven't found anything on her. Not under North or Jordans. Not even a birth certificate.'
'Keep looking, and no. My mom doesn't need to know yet.'
'She's better at dealing with things like this… Plus, she'll be pissed.'
'This isn't a rogue who needs a maternal presence to spill their guts, Vince. This is my mate, and Nefretiri would make my mother cry.'
'You're going to have a fun time with this one…' he teased, but I only smirked. Until he finished his thought. 'Are you going to tell her?'
'About what?' It was stupid to play dumb, but this wasn't the time to discuss this.
'Ivan… come on.'
'I will, but I need to convince her not to run first…'
'Good luck with that… You've got your work cut out for you.'
That was underestimating it.
"I've eaten," Nefretiri slammed her empty cup down, pulling me back to the moment. "Can I leave?"
"Want a dessert?" Yeah, I was stalling, but why wouldn't I? "They have cookies… and I think they have some chocolate pie. I might grab a slice of that…"
"Get whatever you want," she snapped, getting up. "I need to go. Thanks for the food."
I was about to grab her, but didn't need to. She tried to move but sat back down, her face etched in pain. Without thinking, I switched seats, placing my hand under her shirt and rubbing the spot she was holding. It's not as good as licking the area but can ease the pain. That's all I'm after, but the bond reaches out to me, causing my hands to shake.
Everyone reacts to the bond differently.
I've heard people say it's like a pleasant vibration or jolts of electricity. My parents told me it was just a feeling they had when they were near each other, but I've never known anyone to describe it like mine. I feel her aura coil around my arm, slipping under my skin and releasing all the muscle tension. The constant pain I live with is pulled away like a painkiller, only better because there are no side effects, leaving comfortable warmth. Her energy makes me feel powerful and safe, like I could face anything and come out the other side unharmed.
What did she feel from my touch?
"Don't touch me," she whispered, but was leaning into me, sighing in relief.
"I'm trying to help." I don't want it to hurt, but it does. My emotions are on overdrive, and months of feelings are crashing down on me in a single day. I want to hold her, touch her, show her affection, but I can't without looking like a creep, and her rejection is like thousands of knives stabbing me. "I want to take care of you."
"Why?" she hisses, dropping her voice. "Why are you focusing on me? There are plenty of single women you could be picking up."
"I don't want them. I want you. You're mine."
"Why?! Because you're a werewolf?!" she whispered, getting in my face like an accusation. I won't lie. I was surprised that she knew. "Yes, I know!"
Well fuck, I did not appreciate my words turned on me like that.
"How did you-"
I was cut off by the sound of Penelope crying.
She screamed so loudly that everyone turned to stare at my pack's table, my tiny pup flailing her arms and turning purple. The sound hurt my sensitive hearing, but I didn't hesitate to get up and hurry over to them. Taylor was trying to soothe her, but nothing she did worked. Danny was busy trying to fill a bottle with formula, but instinctively, I knew that wouldn't help either. Penelope wanted Nefretiri. I don't know how I know; it just came to me.
"Hey!" Taylor complained as I plucked my pup from her. "We've got it."
"Shut up, brat," I huffed, turning and returning to my table. "Hey, it's okay, Princess. Mommy's right here. Yeah… Hey, can you put in a good word for me? Mommy doesn't trust me, and we need to make her see we're supposed to be a family. Can you help daddy out?"
Penelope didn't stop crying but opened her eyes, staring at me like she understood.
I couldn't get over how easy it was to switch into this new role. This morning, the idea of having a pup terrified me because of the mess I'd made of my life. Now? I couldn't imagine not being a father. This tiny baby changed me, and I'd spend the rest of my life being worthy of being her dad. No boy would ever be good enough, I'd kill anyone who hurt her, and do anything to make her happy.
"Hey, Pen-Pen…" Nefretiri grabbed our pup from me, her voice nothing like it'd been. There was no sign of anger, fear, or pain, all for our daughter's sake. "You're hungry, aren't you. It's past dinner, isn't it? Hey, there's a blanket in the bottom of the stroller, bring it to me."
That last part was aimed at me, and the way she spoke, you would've thought I was her husband and this was a regular outing. I didn't have a problem being her delivery boy, especially if she talks to me like that instead of like we were about to have an MMA fight. This is what a bond is supposed to be like. Working together to have a life and family, to be together, and in our case, raise our pack. Fuck, if only it was this easy. Maybe I should call my mom… Or my grandmothers. They'd know what to do.
But I need to be the one who does this.
"What are you doing?" I demand, horrified, when I return with the blanket to find Nefretiri with her hand in her shirt. I'd brought the bottle, assuming she'd give her the formula once I filled it with water.
"Unclasping my bra," Taylor should feel crushed. She just lost her top rank as the most sarcastic bitch in the world. That title now belonged to my mate. "How do you expect me to feed her?"
"With this…" I held out the bottle, scowling at her, then everyone else around us. Luckily, no one was watching.
"Men," she scoffed, snatching the blanket before covering herself and the baby. "I'm not giving her a bottle of cold formula."
"I'll warm it up!" I sound like an idiot about this, but a surge of jealousy hit me. I didn't want anyone staring at my mate feeding our daughter.
She ignored me, focusing on Penelope, and I felt powerless against her. No one could deny she was my Luna. She was the only person with the innate power to defy me and leave me looking like a starved stray on the street. That's the kind of silent power she had, something she was born with. This woman was destined to be Luna of the Sebryanyy Kinzhal, a pack with ancient roots and that same silent power.
"No, I don't think so," one of the guys behind the counter looked in her direction, giving her a look. He looked like he was going to say something about feeding the baby in public, which irritated me more than if he'd been leering at her.
Yes, I know I'm a hypocrite.
"Hey!" Nefretiri gasped, clutching Penelope, who whined as I picked them up and sat in her chair. The chair blocked everyone's view unless someone was going to the bathroom. "Put me down!"
"Nope," now I don't care what anyone sees. She's in my lap, and it calms my protective drive and doesn't make me want to destroy everything around me. "Now you're safe, and no one will bother Penelope from eating."
"You're crazy," she accuses, but still leans into me.
"Am I?" Without thinking about it, I slid my hands under her shirt, running my fingers along her sides, feeling her tense, then relax. "Then I think we're both crazy, because you're enjoying it."
"How are you doing that?" she whispers, her head lolling to the side, exposing her neck.
"Don't do that." My hands shook as I held her still, my eyes fixed on her neck. I felt my fangs piercing my bottom lip. "You must not know much about my kind... Or you wouldn't be tempting me like this."
"What do you mean?" She quickly lifted her head, staring at me. We were so close, I could've tilted my head and our lips would've touched. Damn, she was torturing me.
"Nefretiri? Do you know what a mate is?" If she knew what a werewolf is, then there was a chance she did, and I got the answer from her reaction. "I'm taking that as a yes."
"No," shaking her head, she tried to move away, but it wasn't easy with the baby nursing. "No, I can't be..."
"You are," I gripped her tighter, my stress rising. Now I regret not taking my anxiety meds. "You're my mate."
"I can't be your mate," she turned away, her body shaking, and I heard the fear. Not the mask she'd used earlier, but the real thing, and it killed me.
"Why not?" I sounded more vulnerable than I ever had, and that was saying something since I'd been at my lowest for the last two years. "Does it...disgust you?"
I'm proud of what I am, but that doesn't mean everyone else thinks being a werewolf is something to celebrate. What if she doesn't want me because of it? What if she knows about my kind because we've done something to her? I don't control all the werewolves in the world. I can't control what they do. That doesn't stop me from losing my mate because of something out of my control.
"No..." I've never been more grateful to get a dirty look before. She looks like I called her a racist, which wasn't what I was trying to say. "I just... I'm married. I belong to someone else."
The way she said 'belong' held the disgust I'd feared. Then, she showed me her ring again, and I couldn't stop Chagan from growling. The metal cut into her skin, which looked even cheaper up close. I could go out tomorrow and buy her something for the same price. Not that I would. She deserved something only meant for her, and I already knew what it was. However, that'll have to wait till we get home.
"Rocks and metal don't make you his, Nefretiri. " Cupping her hand, I settled it back on our child, refusing to look at the thing again. "Do you love him?"
"No."
I didn't even realize I wasn't breathing until she said that, and I relaxed a little. The certainty was a relief, but it brought up more questions. Why stay if she didn't love him? What was he doing to keep her imprisoned to him? The most important question was how I could convince her that I could protect her. That would be the most challenging part.
"Then come with me," I know it was pushing it, but I kissed her shoulder, wanting so badly to show her more affection. She deserved it, and even though she was distant, I felt she wanted me to give her that tenderness. "We're meant to be together. You feel it, don't you?"
"I don't know you."
"True, but that can change with time... I'm not asking for you to do anything you don't want. All I want is a chance..."
"You don't get it," I watched her bite her lip, wincing in pain.
"What's wrong?"
"She latched on wrong..."
"Take it easy, it'll be okay." I meant it as a soothing gesture, but she laughed at me. "You just have to relax."
"Have you ever had a vacuum stuck to your nipple?" I loved her laugh. How did I get her to make her do it more?
"No," the mood lightened, and I rested my head on her shoulder, nuzzling her cheek. "I can't say I have."
"Then don't tell me to relax."
We fell into a comfortable silence, the world moving on around us.
"You have to let me go..." Nefretiri waited until she'd finished, cradling Penelope, who was content and staring at us. "I have to go..."
"I can't," I closed my eyes, pushing Chagan back. Her fear built back up. "I'm sorry, but I won't let you go, especially if you're in danger."
"You'll regret it." I could've considered it a threat, but she tried convincing me she wasn't worth the risk.
I didn't answer, looking up and nodding at my sister.
"Hey, sweet pea..." Taylor came over, smiling at her niece with her arms out. "Did you have a good dinner? Are you ready to go? Uncle Steven will set up your bed, and we can ride in his car. Yeah, won't that be fun?"
"No," Nefretiri held Penelope closer, leaning back into my chest.
"Nefretiri... We won't hurt you." I assure, rubbing her sides again. "You can trust Taylor. She's family."
"I don't know you... any of you." She was more hesitant now, fighting with herself over what she understood and knew was true. "You can't ask me to do this."
"Look at me," I ordered, ignoring the look Taylor gave me.
She did, our noses touching, the air thicker but not suffocating.
"Do you think I'd hurt you? Look at me and tell me you believe I'd ever do anything to you or this pup."
She didn't say anything, but I wasn't worried. When she looked at me, she wasn't scared. She was confused, which was understandable, but not afraid. So, I wasn't as shocked as Taylor when Nefretiri gingerly handed Penelope over, never looking away. It was more than I could've hoped for and was my signal to move things along. We still had a lot of things to discuss, but not here.
"Let's go," I whispered, standing with her in my arms, walking by the pack's table as Taylor took care of the baby. "We're leaving. Now."