I pull into Sebastian's driveway. I don't focus much on extravagance. Not the multiple statues spitting out water which fills the many ponds that the koi fish occupy, or the fact that there's a trimmed tree to represent his company's initials in vines and roses, not the big gate and arch, and most certainly not the way the driveway parts in two sections because of the rose statue in the middle of it. I also don't acknowledge the multiple acres that this property covers. Nope, I don't notice any of it. Not one bit. A black circle makes its way into the pit of my stomach and seems to suck up any confidence I had on my way here. I'm already here. I could turn back right now and come in more modestly. I look at the silky red robe I found in the depths of Saiya's closet despite her claims that she didn't have another one on hand. I take a deep breath and step out of the car.
When my heels clack against the pavement, I can only imagine how I look to others. Soren, you stripped and the guys there were way more demoralizing than this can ever be. Stripping was fun, but of course, it had its setbacks. It was quick and easy money though. If the people hadn't been so crude, I would have happily continued. I quickly gather my confidence. I don't get a chance to ring the doorbell by the double doors because the door opens for me. A group of men flood out the door and I stand still in a momentary shock. They also stop their chatter and stare at me in surprise. I grin when I see Sebastian's eyes enlarge once he catches a glimpse of my face. "Oh shit, I'm so sorry," Sebastian pushes past his friends and stands in front of me.
"Nearly two hours, and you still couldn't get them to leave before I arrived." My grin stays plastered to my face to show Sebastian that I'm not mad. "I know, I'm sorry. We got caught up in a story, and by the time I realized what the time was, it was already too late." He pulls me into his body, blocking his friends from seeing me and vice versa. "Okay, so let me get this right. I tell you I'm coming to have sex with you, and you completely forget because of a story?" Sebastian's face drops as if he has seen Satan himself. I cock a brow waiting for a response. "I'm sorry," Is the response I get from him. I give him a slight push, signaling him to let me go.
I step beside him to see his friends. I stick my hand out to greet them. "Hello, I'm Soren, the woman your friend so desperately wanted to hook up with, but when he finally got the chance to, he completely forgot." I smile and laugh. One of the guys shakes my hand, and another whistles. "Damn, you're smoking hot, respectfully," he winks, and a different guy elbows him in the stomach, causing him to clench over. "I'm so sorry about him. What he means is you're beautiful. I can't see how Seb could ever forget about such a beautiful face." He grabs my hand and kisses it.
A different guy rolls his eyes. He grunts as a form of greeting. The final guy gives me a friendly smile and waves. "You're in some real trouble, Sebastian," the last guy says. The first guy speaks up next. "I'm Nex, the asshole who called you sexy is Ian, the gentleman is Kevin, the nontalker is Jared, and the happy-go-lucky dude is Travis." I smile in response. "It's a pleasure to meet all of you. Sebastian, I thought you were better than this. Your friends compliment me before you do," Sebastian is instantly flustered. "I was thinking it, but I didn't know how comfortable you would be with me saying such things around these dirtbags."
"I like her. She ain't afraid to speak her mind," Ian says. "What you think about her doesn't matter. You should all get going," Sebastian shoos them away. "I hope to see you again!" Travis shouts before they're out of range. I wave goodbye and invite myself in. There is no hallway leading to a bigger room. The moment you enter the door, his living room comes into sight. Multiple bookshelves outline its interior. Carpets, couches, a wide TV, and a real fireplace are present. The kitchen is to its left. "Soren, I'm so fucking sorry. Trust that I was definitely thinking about you. I wasn't aware of the time. You have every right to be mad, and I didn't mean to embarrass you or have you meet my friends like that,"
I turn around to face him. "You're right. I do have every right to be mad, but I'm not." This statement shocks him as he visibly recoils. "Wait, seriously?" I nod my head at him. "With their personalities, I'd be distracted too," I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him in. "Why are you so understanding?" he asks me. I chuckle at the frequently asked question. "People keep asking me that. Honestly, I don't know. It's who I am." It's weird. My siblings think I'm a selfish sister, while everybody else calls me selfless. They can't both be right.
Sebastian connects our lips, and the oxygen is stolen from my lungs. He ravishes my lips. His tongue slips into my mouth. He's gentle but demanding. The way his hands roam down my back, caress my hips, and cup my ass makes me want to instantly submit to him. I refuse my bodily instincts and tug his hair to deepen the kiss.
An animalistic sound vibrates in his chest. I pull out of the kiss and stare at him with caution. "You wouldn't happen to be a supernatural creature, right?" He looks at me questioningly. "Is that supposed to be a compliment?" I sigh in relief. One can never be too sure nowadays. "Yes, because that kiss was unbelievable," I inwardly cringe at my wording and imagine burying myself in a hole six feet under. Sebastian snickers at my antics and gives me a peck on the lips. "Well, it would've gone on longer if you didn't interrupt it." I smile and press my lips back onto his.
I feel his smirk on my lips. He unties my robe. His jaw is slack, and his eyes widen slightly. He takes a moment to look at me. He stares me up and down. A blush creeps onto his face, and a smirk tugs at mine. "You... You're beautiful," he stares at me in awe. The smirk falls from my face and is replaced with a blush of my own. I suddenly feel bashful. "Thank you," I quietly say, yet loud enough for him to hear.
"Fuck," Sebastian swears before he devours my lips once again. He grabs my thighs and lifts me. I wrap my legs around his waist, and he cups my ass. We never break our kiss as he leads me to what I can only assume to be his room. I soon get confirmation as we break our kiss, and I look around the massive bedroom. I don't get a good look as I'm thrown onto the bed. Sebastian kisses up and down my neck. He leaves his mark in the trail of hickeys that goes down my neck.
A moan rips from my throat. Sebastian continues to trail kisses down my body. My neck slowly starts to heat up, but I disregard it and focus on the pleasure that Sebastian is bringing me. He practically engulfs my nipples as he sucks on them. He fondles my breasts and plays with my nipples. He keeps kissing down my stomach and in between my thighs. When he reaches my clit, my neck starts to burn as if it's on fire. I shut my mouth before my scream reaches Sebastian's ears and instinctively kick my leg up. My knee crashes against Sebastian's jaw. "Holy shit. I'm so fucking sorry," I scramble to cup his face. He hisses in pain when I put my hand on the bruise.
Realizing that he can't see my mark, I hurry out of the situation. "I'm so sorry. I forgot to shave and really didn't want you going down there. As a matter of fact, I'll do that right now." I jump out of the bed. I open the first door that I see and shut it when I see that it's the bathroom.
I lean against the door and whimper. Tears poke at my eyes. I look in the mirror and see the orangey-red glow in the shape of a bite mark. I go to touch the mark. My hands don't burn upon contact. This surprises me. I throw some cold water onto the bite, but nothing helps with the burning. Shit. I hear a light knock on the door. "Hey, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I don't mind it being hairy down there." I lean against the sink and sigh in defeat. No matter how far he is, Jason continues to prevent me from getting laid.
"Thank you for the reassurance, but I'm not comfortable with it," I keep up the excuse. "There are wax strips in the cabinet," my face instantly scrunches up in pain. "You don't have a razor?" I ask, silently hoping he does. "No, waxing is faster," and more painful. I open the cabinet and grab a wax strip. I struggle out of the lingerie. When I look down there, I realize this is for the best. I'm not a beast, but I wouldn't call myself a beauty down there either. I apply the strip and follow the instructions. "FUCK!" I scream in agony upon ripping the strip off. I hunch over the sink. Tears fall out of my eyes. I take a deep breath before pulling the other one off. I sit on the toilet and slowly start to cry.
A light knock comes from the other side of the door. "Are you okay in there?" Sebastian's voice holds worry in his words. "No," I make my response quick and short. The burning on my neck slowly starts to fade away. I blow my nose out in the toilet paper. "Can you get the robe from the front?" I ask Sebastian. With a quick 'okay,' he takes off. A minute later or so, he knocks again. I slowly open the bathroom door so he can't see my body, and take the robe with a quick thank you.
I dress myself and come out of the bathroom when the bite mark fades away. I sit on the bed and breathe. "Why do you do that to yourself?" When Sebastian doesn't answer me, I look up to see him holding in a laugh. I grab a pillow and throw it in his face. "This is not funny, you asshole!" I say with a laugh, so he knows I'm not actually mad at him. He catches the pillow and laughs into it.
My legs tremble from the pain, and my middle throbs. "I'm not laughing," he says in between his laughs. I get up and stand in front of him. When he puts the pillow down, he jumps at my unexpected closeness. "Mhm, right," I cross my arms and try to give him a hard glare but end up cracking a smile. We both laugh together, and he wraps his hands around my waist. I wrap mine around his neck. "Let's go eat. I have a feeling you didn't stop to eat anywhere on your way here," he kisses my forehead and intertwines our hands. He guides me to the kitchen and sets me down on a stool. "You cook?" I ask. He grins at me and whips on an apron. "Do I? My grandma taught me when I was young," his eyes look reminiscent as he talks about his grandma, leading me to believe she's passed away.
"That's nice. My stepgrandmother is a real piece of work. Self-absorbed, prim and proper, judgmental, pushy, etc. The wicked witch of the west doesn't have a single loving bone in her body," I lean against the counter. Sebastian gives me an ice pack and points his head toward my nether region. I give him a small smile and place the ice pack on my vagina. I sigh at the relief from a different kind of burn. "I don't think I'm going to be able to feel down there ever again," I complain and lay my head on the counter. He chuckles and takes out a few ingredients. "Can you feel the pain?" I give him a flat look. He smiles and takes out a knife. "Then I think you'll be just fine, "
I roll my eyes despite his back being turned to me. "Well, it's going numb, so I don't know how long that's going to last," Sebastian whips out a box of spaghetti. "Spaghetti? That's a coincidence. It's my favorite meal," Sebastian turns around to put water in a pot and boil it. "Then you'd fit in just fine with my family. My mom is Italian." My face lifts into a smile. "Then I hope she never catches me in the kitchen. My methods aren't exactly conventional."
"She don't play in the kitchen, but I'm sure she would love you. You're strong, confident, beautiful, and you know your worth. You remind me of her at times. She would respect you and love your generosity." He smiles reminiscently. My heart flutters at the many compliments. "Man, you sure know how to get a girl," I lightly chuckle. I force down a creeping blush. "I don't talk about my family to my hookups. It's certainly not something I use to pick up women. My mom would smack me across my head before I manipulated a woman like that," Sebastian's tone is serious and honest. It brings another smile to my face. "Does this mean I'm not just a hookup?" I playfully ask. Sebastian stops in his tracks. When he doesn't talk for a few minutes, I worry that I might have crossed a line. "Hey, that was just a joke. I know what this is," I try to reassure him.
"I didn't hound after you for almost three years for you to be an average hookup. I may not be ready to date, but I'm genuinely interested in you. While I don't see us being in a romantic relationship, I would love to be in your company from time to time," he looks me in the eye so that I know that everything he is saying is true. I grin. "So, you want to be friends with benefits?" Sebastian blushes. "Right, yes. I didn't mean to make it sound so complicated." I shrug my shoulders. "I got the gist," He returns to cooking, and I waddle around his living room. I examine the books and shelves, and the majority of them surprise me. "You read romance books?" I ask Sebastian and pull out a familiar title on one of the spines of a book. I hear his chuckle from the kitchen. "Surprised?"
"I mean, yeah. You seem like the kind of guy to read Greek mythology or something more classy," I flip through the book despite having read it. "I don't have the patience to properly understand Greek mythology and all of its gods. There are too many versions and it doesn't hold my interest. I've never been a history kind of guy," I absentmindedly nod my head. "Duly noted. Hey, have you finished reading 'The Princess Bride?' " Sebastian takes a moment to respond as he tries to recollect.
"Oh, that one. My blood pressure never rose so high. The protagonist is so irritating; It was clear that the prince had more history with the villain. I almost didn't finish it. All of the characters ended up with the wrong people because none of them had the balls to follow their heart." I laugh at the intensity of his tone. "I completely agree. They all trapped themselves through promises they later on didn't want to uphold. The chains of loyalty kept them from being true to themselves. I quite like the book. It shows that not every story has a happy ending. Not everybody can be the fearless and confident protagonist that everybody expects. Sometimes the rewards aren't worth the consequences." I shut the book and put it back in its rightful place on the shelf.
"I'd totally agree with you if they didn't have so many opportunities to avoid pain. It's not fair to put someone through a relationship you won't commit yourself to. You're not being true to yourself or the other person. You're better off cutting your losses because, at the end of the day, nobody wants to die with a life full of regrets. So, if you have to break a few hearts or two to achieve happiness, then I don't see a problem. Not all relationships are supposed to last. The majority of them are to teach you a lesson for the next. It's not meant to trap you. They all could have found happiness with other characters in the story had they learned from their past mistakes."
"But how do you tell somebody that you've fallen out of love with them and want to be with their enemy or best friend? You're right. It's not fair. It's just hard. It's better if somebody learns the truth than be misled, but humans don't like confrontation. The hero will always give up their happiness for another. They never realize that their actions do more harm than good.
Everybody in the story wanted to be heroes. The irony in it all is that all of the couples didn't love each other anymore. Had everybody been honest in the end, nobody would have gotten hurt. In the beginning, it was hard for the characters to say how they really felt because their significant others still loved them. But in the end, all respective partners loved someone else. However, guilt and a false concept of loyalty prevented everyone from saying how they felt.
Even when one was willing to, the other wasn't. It was complicated. Especially, since some characters didn't necessarily fall out of love but felt their partner's distance and wanted to rekindle the relationship. Then the author added exes mixed in with the already messy friend group, and it was a shit show. In a good way,"
I continue to scale the many bookshelves. "Have you ever stayed in a relationship whilst loving another?" Sebastian asks me. I don't have to think long or hard considering I didn't have many relationships. "No, but my partner did. At the beginning of any serious relationship, I tell my partner to inform me when they don't want to be with me anymore. It'll hurt more if they cheat than if they break up with me. A few told me they didn't feel the attraction anymore. Others loved other women. And some, I, myself, rejected because of work or because the relationship was too boring for me.
I never understood why women always rejected the good guys who treated them right. The guys who were always faithful, gave you heatpads, catered to your cravings, and were understanding. That was until I entered one myself. There wasn't a real connection and it all felt way too vanilla. There was no excitement or will to stay with them. He was perfect in every way, and yet, he still didn't make my heart flutter. After him, I dropped dating altogether, thinking I was too picky, and decided it would be better to focus on school anyway."
I grab a book and hop onto the stool again. I release the hand that has been clutching the ice pack and leave the ice pack to sit on the chair in between my legs. When I look at Sebastian I see him in an apron. His shirt remains on the floor of the room we had just come out of, and his sweats slack on his waist. It's a scene I take in. I grab my phone and take a quick picture of him by the stove. I set it to my home screen wallpaper as a joke.
"You still haven't found a guy who makes your heart skip a beat or two?" I freeze at the question and frown at the image that pops into my head. "I never said a guy hasn't made my heart flutter. All I said was that guy, in particular, didn't," I open the book and read the synopsis. "You said you stopped dating because you felt you were being picky. This only leads me to believe you didn't find the kind of guy you wanted a long relationship with."
I roll my eyes at his explanation. "I don't like how you picked up on that," A book about a 19-year-old with amnesia who teams up with an ex-cop to figure out the past 15 years of her life. Interesting. I'll bite. "I don't like how you haven't answered my question." Sebastian takes a seat beside me while the food boils. I sigh and glance at him.
"Two guys," I can practically feel a grin appear on his face. "Tell me everything. Why aren't you with them?" I laugh aloud. If I told him everything that has happened since befriending Jason, he'd think I was telling him about a fantasy story I read. "I can't tell you everything for privacy reasons, but one of the guys is in a relationship, and the other doesn't want one," I know Sebastian won't pick up on him being the second person. Guys never do.
"So these guys are currently in your life. You don't talk in past tense. I don't know about the first guy, but you should convince the second one that you're the only one for him. You have to be persistent," He clenches his fists, trying to demonstrate the strength he's telling me to have. I smirk. Even if he is good at picking up little things in a conversation, he is still a guy. "I don't want a relationship with either of them. It's too messy. Besides, I have more important things to do."
He stays silent for a little too long, so I look up at his face. He's staring at me as if the questions roaming through his head will be answered by looking at me. "The timing will never be right. Ever. Life isn't that kind. You've already got a stable job and home. There's nothing holding you back but yourself. Don't be like the characters in that book. It's okay to be afraid. It's not okay to sacrifice yourself for others,"
"You don't get it. I don't love these guys. It's not that I don't want to be with them just because I'm busy. I don't want to be with them period. Besides, I'd never make a move on my sister's fiancé. And I can't force the other guy to be ready to be in a committed relationship." Sebastian rapidly blinks and for a second I think he's figured out that he's the second guy. "Your sister's fiancé? Shit," I sigh as he completely disregards his exact description. "Yep, now what about you? You have a steady job and you're definitely not lacking in your choice of women, so why are you so adamant about being single? And don't give me that bull crap about relationships not being for you. If that's what you're planning, then just don't tell me."
He heavily sighs; his reason for wanting to be single places a few stress lines across his face. I don't push, but I have a good idea as to why he wants to be single. "Get back on the horse. No matter how viciously you were thrown off of it, get back up. I know it's harder to get back onto a mental horse than a physical one. The thing about the horse is that you trusted it. You trusted it, and it hurt you. Guys like you don't forfeit a lover because of what happened to somebody else. But somebody dumb and totally not good-looking recently told me that the timing will never be right. The girl won't always be the right one for you but don't die with a life full of regrets. Don't die, never knowing you didn't find the love of your life because you were too scared. Don't let whoever did this to you rob you of your future happiness with someone else."
Sebastian closes his eyes, and I swear his eyes are glossed when he opens them. He collects himself. "She was the love of my life," he smiles, but there's nothing happy about it. Only pain and hurt. "If that was true, you wouldn't be here with me. I don't know if she betrayed you or died, but if I had to guess, it wouldn't be the latter. If you keep clinging to the thought that the love of your life is someone who has caused you this much irreparable pain, you're never going to heal and move on. Stop trying to convince yourself of something that has already been proven wrong." I know my words won't get through to him right now, but I hope it's something he can think about later in the future.
"You're right. I know you are, but it doesn't change how I feel. Anyway, who were you calling ugly and stupid a few sentences ago?" He gives me a challenging smile, and I return to reading the book. "You, obviously," His arms snake around my side, and he peppers kisses along my neck and face. I can't help the giggle that escapes my mouth. It doesn't sound like a noise I ever thought myself capable of producing. He finally connects our lips and deepens the kiss. I stop him from feeling my body when I push him away. "You don't want to let the food burn," he pouts like a child before he returns to the kitchen. My smile fades once he turns his back. Why is my body attracted to unavailable guys? I whimper and continue to read the book.