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Chapter 28 - Chapter 28 : Shame and Guilt

"You're not exactly being discreet about it you know?" I propped my chin on my palm, my eyes glimmering with amusement.

It's not every day I can talk to a drunk Len!

"You always pat my head and miraculously, I'm all better. If that isn't the work of holy power, then what is?"

"Holy power…" He murmured, then he mirrored my pose, propping his chin on his palm. "I suppose it can be considered that."

"Oh ho… So, you're admitting that you have holy power? Then why are you, a holy power wielder not working for the goddess' church?"

Len's brows knitted closer, offense plastered all over his face. 

"Why should I associate myself with such a good for nothing system? lt's better to serve the goddess under the crown where I can assure that things will be done."

That's... 

"L-Len!" My eyes frantically shifted all over the room. Luckily, the rain and chattering drowned out our little blasphemous conversation. 

I sighed in relief and drank another mouthful of beer.

"Itssss... fine. Everyone agrees with me." Len stood up and raised his glass, shouting, "Everybody agrees that the church is cor-"

My eyes went wide, knowing what his following words were. 

Holy shit... This is Len?

I stood up as well and tiptoed, making use of my ballet experience to cover Len's mouth. When my head turned, the drunken men were already focused on us.

"Y-you're insecure..." 

In a panic, the first line of one of the most famous songs in Stella escaped from my mouth. 

Everyone seemed to look at me with shining, curious eyes.

Len included. 

My mouth opened on its own, revealing my trained, angelic singing voice.

"Don't know what for. You're turnin' heads when you walk through the do-o-or~"

The people nodded their heads to the rhythm, humming their own tune and hitting the table to create sounds that didn't even match a single note of the song. Still, it became my fuel to continue.

"Don't need makeup to cover up. Being the way that you are is eno-ou-ugh. Everyone else in the room can see it. Everyone else, but you, ooh~"

Weird...

I don't even like singing.

I despise music.

Is this what it's like to be drunk?

By the time I reached the chorus with my already clouded mind, I stood on the stage—bar counter—and sang with a bottle of liquor that I don't know where it came from as my microphone. Len sat on the counter after a failed attempt to stand up because of his height.

"Baby, you light up my world like nobody else."

"Body else." Len sang with me, serving as my backup vocals. 

Like his artistic talent, Len was not blessed with great musical talent, but he sang with so much enjoyment and passion that it didn't even matter.

"♪Baby, you light up my world like nobody else.♪"

"♪Body else♪." Len sang with me, serving as my backup vocals. 

"♪The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed'. But when you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell.♪"

I lowered the liquor bottle to reach Len's mouth.

"♪You don't know, oh-oh.♪"

Then we sang together while I made the effort to sing louder to overpower Len's out-of-tune singing.

"♪You don't know you're beautiful~♪"

...Ugh...

I struggled to open my eyes, my body felt so heavy like it was being pressed on by a large boulder— not that I know what that feels like. The drunken chattering and our mini-concert were no more. Only the loud pouring rain annoyingly echoed throughout. 

After much difficulty, I opened my eyes and lifted my head from the table.

"Oh- fu-"

I almost jumped out of surprise when I met a pair of silver eyes.

The tables were now empty and neat, our table being the sole exception that still had glasses and plates on them.

Goodness, how many did he drink while I was knocked out?!

Two, three, four... nine glasses of beer?!

The room was dim with only a few torches lit up. 

Len was leaning on the wall lazily, the flames' red glow cascaded off Len's silver hair, creating an illusion of a halo. His dazed gaze had an intensity stronger than the fire burning yet contained a comforting warmth.

He usually looked like a hero, a dazzling knight in shining armor. But right now, he looked like a fallen angel, seducing you to give in to your temptations.

So alluringly captivating.

"You're awake… Sienna."

I nodded, "Hmm."

"The guys earlier... were playing a game. I wanted to play but you were sleeping." He said in a slurred manner, his voice carrying a hint of sulkiness.

"We can play it now. What is it?"

Len pinched his eyes closed, his fingers rhythmically tapping on the table. "I forgot what they called it, but they asked each other questions. If you don't want to answer, you drink."

...Truth or drink?

"Sure, let's do it. You want to go first?"

He nodded.

"Sienna. Sienna… Sienna." Len repeated my name for some unknown reason, ah, unknown reason? He's just drunk, that's why.

I know that.

So, why the fuck is my face heating up?!

Al… Alcohol!

Maybe I haven't sobered up yet!

Oh, please. Let's be honest here.

I like the way Len spoke of my name.

It was clear that Len slurs his speech when drunk, still, he pronounces my name clearly, with the utmost care to not butcher it, as if it would be a sin if he ever did so.

The way it rolls off his tongue and escapes his mouth so naturally like he was just meant to say my name is so damn addicting.

"Yeah?"

"Whatttt… does it meean?"

What does my name mean…?

"My mother... is a painter. The painting that made her renowned is a landscape of mountain peaks famous for its reddish soil. It just so happened that I was born with the same-colored hair of that mountain's soil. So, I was named after her painting which was titled 'Sienna' because one of the peak's names is Sienna where the dye for the paint 'burnt sienna' comes from."

Len raised his eyebrows, thinking but a look that he couldn't comprehend what I was saying.

Obviously, because right now, I am not Sienna. Physically.

I'm Sienna in the body of Raina, cosplaying as some blonde-haired maid.

Instead of questioning me, Len leaned forward and stretched his hand. Reaching out to take a lock of my hair—wig to be exact—and stare at it for a while. Len then focused on my face whilst caressing the hair with his thumb.

"Reddishhh... brown..." He mumbled, "it would look good on you."

Good?

I'd be gorgeous.

"Wha... What about you? What does Len mean?"

Len continued to caress the lock of hair in his hand, "Mom lived in Terinas with unbound, flowing rivers connecting to the sea. She named me after one of the rivers in hopes for me to live freely."

Suddenly, I heard him chuckle. 

"We're both named after nature's landscapes."

I chuckled along with him.

There was a brief silence as Len thought of his next question.

"What does Lady Aillard like?"

"Huh?" I tilted my head, confused. "What do you mean?"

"Does she like jewels... money... weapons?" 

Raina... The real Raina loved plants... That's all I know.

But the one occupying her body... aka me..."

"My lady likes pearls and sapphires. Reading academic and fictional books is a must. Horse riding as well."

Len listened and nodded carefully at my answer.

I asked a bit hesitantly and cautiously, "What does his majesty despise?"

Asking what Azriel likes would be redundant. Anything he likes, he could get with a snap of his fingers. At least knowing what he despises will help me not to get on his bad side.

"Liars."

Badump.

With that one word, my chest began to pound loudly, it felt as though my heart wanted to escape.

I already knew that he hated people who deceived him. 

Because in the original novel, he had killed off the chamberlain who had been with him since he was a child, serving the young prince, and later the emperor dutifully for altering a ledger. 

Gosh, why am I panicking?!

I haven't even met the Azriel yet... I just don't have to lie to him.

Or maybe...

I glanced at Len and our eyes instantly met. I quickly lowered my head.

It's my guilty conscience.

"I..." I fiddled my fingers, "What about you? Do you hate liars too?

"Yes."

Badump.

"I loathe them."

Badump.

"I... Len... I"

Badump.

BADUMP.

BADUMP--------ROAR

The thunder rumbled once again, sending me that all too familiar buzzing in my ears. I tried ignoring it to continue what I must confess, but the world suddenly felt like spinning. I couldn't even make up Len's face, everything looked like a blurred, puddled mess.

"Len... I... I'm not..."

My vision went black, and the words got stuck in my throat.

'I'm not a maid.'

The last thing I can remember is a warm hand on my cheek.

To be continued.

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