Pff... I wish I weren't here! I'd much rather be cleaning than being here! That's saying something!
Today is the wedding of Ritana and Dimitar Romanova, a couple I find quite ordinary, both in their twenties… And of course, the whole village has been invited! The wedding itself was utterly boring…
Naturally, the ceremony was typically Bulgarian. That is to say, on the wedding day, the young man, surrounded by his family and carrying a bottle of brandy decorated with geraniums, sets off to visit his kumovétés (witnesses). Once everyone arrived at the kumovétés' house, the eating and drinking could begin…
But guess who's sitting right next to me... If your answer is an ill-mannered fool going by the sweet name of Aleko Dragonov, I can tell you that you're absolutely right...
"Can't you just go somewhere else?" I whisper.
Better not get noticed… Especially since you never know if Liliya is around… No, I'm not afraid of Liliya, but… better safe than sorry...
"You've changed, Petrova. Usually, you'd have already tried to kick me or hit me. What's wrong with you? Are you sick?" He says, smiling like the Joker from Batman.
"It's called growing up! You should try it!" I retort, already feeling my anger rising.
Come on, Katerina! Right now, you have the upper hand, so don't lose your temper… Today will be another victory against Dragonov! I can feel it!
"No thanks! That might give me something in common with you! I'm emotionally not ready for that!"
I'm going to commit an ubiĭstvo! (murder!) I'm going to shoot him, beat him to a pulp, castrate him, gut him, chop him into little pieces, and throw them into the fire! Then I'll bring him back to life just so I can kill him again, and when I'm finally satisfied, I'll spit on your grave, Aleko Dragonov, and finish it all off with a little victory dance on top!
Mouaha! It's brilliant! Brilliant! Brilliant! Brilliant! Pure genius! Or maybe I'll just smash him with a giant hammer, like those games where you have to hit beaver heads with a mallet? So many ideas! How to choose?
"You're awfully quiet, Petrova."
"Nobody plans a murder out loud..."
"Oh… So you're thinking about me! That's so cute! I didn't know I meant so much to you, Petrova! What a shame it's not mutual!"
Kurva! Shte go ubiya! (Damn it! I'm going to kill him!) He might as well be considered dead and buried already! He's in deep laĭna (shit) now! He came looking for trouble, and now he's found it!
"Thinking about you was a mistake! But you see, everyone makes mistakes, even God! Proof? You exist!"
"Pff… Petrova, you're not even on my level! And if one day you ever reach it, which I highly doubt… Be a dear… Tie my shoelaces!"
I'm going to kill him!
Unable to hold back, I stomped violently on his foot. He didn't even flinch, which only enraged me more…
"Oh, what's wrong… Haven't grown up after all?" Aleko taunted proudly.
He's doing it on purpose! I know it, but right now, I can't even think straight! I just want to kill him!
"I really want to slap you, but that would be considered animal abuse!"
I didn't give him the chance to respond, knowing I wouldn't last much longer before actually slapping him… But like the huge idiot he is, he followed me into the forest.
If I act fast and don't get my clothes dirty, what are the chances that no one accuses me? …Yeah, that's what I thought… Pfff…
"Am I dreaming, or are you running away from me, Petrova? Have you run out of comebacks, so now you're fleeing? I almost feel bad for you… I said almost!"
"I'm not running away, and certainly not from you… I'm just afraid your stupidity might be contagious!"
I turned around to face him, only to find myself nose to nose with him… He's too close… Way too close… Red alert! Abandon ship! Abandon ship! System overheating! Warning, imminent explosion!
"You're pretty nice to look at when you're all red and keeping your mouth shut..."
Am I dreaming, or did he just say he thinks I'm beautiful?! Oh my god! He thinks I'm beautiful when I blush! And when I…
"Screw you! Idiot! Kuchka! (Bastard!) Asshole! Jerk! I hate you! Drop dead, Dragonov!"
"Wow! So many sweet little words of love! I didn't know you loved me this much… What a shame it's not mutual at all, you little pest!"
"Oh, you'll see what this little pest is about to do to you, you big idiot!"
And so, I ended up chasing that idiot around for the entire Romanova wedding… At least I wasn't bored… But I've run enough for the whole year!
You may have won this round, Dragonov! But not the war! You're going to regret this, I guarantee it! My revenge is only a matter of patience… Mouhaha…
Yes, I'm doing just fine psychologically…
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