Here's an improved and more expressive version while keeping the light novel style:
(As they start walking, Jin Wook glances at her tattered clothes, the tear on her shoulder exposing her skin. He raises an eyebrow.)
Jin Wook: "Are you fine walking around in those torn clothes?"
(Ji-A flinches, instinctively covering her exposed shoulder with her hand, looking embarrassed.)
Jin Wook: "If you don't mind, my house is nearby. You can borrow some of my sister's clothes—they should fit you."
Ji-A: (Shakes her head quickly)"Oh, no! I can't ask that of you. You've already helped me so much… I don't want to be a burden."
Jin Wook: (Shrugs casually)"It's not a burden at all. The real problem is… I'm getting late."
Ji-A: (Blinking)"Late?"
Jin Wook: (Sighs dramatically)"Yeah, because my mom probably cooked something good, and I'm starving. I can't afford to miss out."
Ji-A: (Confused)"Huh?"
Jin Wook: (Smirks)"If you don't mind, I'll let you taste her cooking too. Come with me—you can call your parents from my place."
Ji-A: (Hesitates, then nods with a small smile)"…Okay, thanks."
(As they continue walking, Jin Wook suddenly realizes something and glances at her.)
Jin Wook: "By the way, we haven't introduced ourselves yet. My name's Jin Wook. I'm a college student."
Ji-A: (Smiles softly)"I'm Lee Ji-A… and I am also in the college and, once again, thank you for everything."
Jin Wook: (Chuckles, waving it off)"It's fine. Now, let's go. I'd rather not spend the whole night out here."
Ji-A: (Chuckling as well)"Okay!"
(With that, the two walk together toward Jin Wook's home, their footsteps light under the night sky.)
Here's an improved and more expressive version with a natural light novel flow:
Jin Wook arrived home and pressed the doorbell.
Jin Wook: "Mom, I'm back."
A voice called out from the kitchen.
Mom: "Perfect timing! I just finished cooking."
Jin Wook stepped aside and motioned for Ji-A to enter. She hesitated for a moment before stepping inside cautiously, glancing around the warm and cozy home.
Jin Wook: "Mom, we have a guest."
Jin Wook's mother stepped out from the kitchen, her eyes immediately landing on Ji-A—specifically, her torn clothes and disheveled appearance. Her brows knitted together in concern.
Mom: "Jin Wook, what happened to this girl?"
Jin Wook: (Rubbing the back of his head)"Uh… well, it's a long story."
Jin Wook explained the situation, though he carefully left out the part where he single-handedly crushed the gang of thugs.
Meanwhile, Ji-A, standing quietly beside him, glanced at him in disbelief.
(Huh?He 'somehow' helped me? He practically destroyed those guys like it was nothing!)
Mom: (Sighs, shaking her head)"Alright, dear. Come with me, let's get you some fresh clothes."
Ji-A: "Yes, Auntie. Thank you."
Jin Wook's mom turned to the staircase and called out.
Mom: "Soo-Ah! Come here for a second!"
Moments later, a girl dashed down the stairs—Jin Wook's younger sister, Jin Soo-Ah.
Mom: "Soo-Ah, help this young lady find something to wear. She can borrow one of your dresses."
Soo-Ah: (Looking at Ji-A curiously)"Sure! Follow me."
Ji-A followed Soo-Ah to her room. Once inside, she changed into a fresh dress. As she adjusted the fit, she noticed Soo-Ah staring at her intensely, eyebrows furrowed in deep thought.
Ji-A: (Tilting her head)"Uh… is something wrong?"
Soo-Ah: (Snaps her fingers suddenly)"I swear, I've seen you somewhere before!"
Ji-A: (Chuckles softly)"Maybe at the café?"
Soo-Ah: (Eyes widening in realization)"Yes! I remember now!"
Before Ji-A could respond, Mom's voice echoed through the house.
Mom: "Come down! Dinner's ready!"
Soo-Ah: (Grabbing Ji-A's hand)"Let's go before Mom yells again."
They headed downstairs to the dining table, where Jin Wook, Soo-Ah, Mom, and Dad were already seated.
As they settled in, Mom looked around.
Mom: "Where's Ji-A?"
Soo-Ah: (Grinning mischievously)"She's on the phone with her family. Oh, and Mom! I just remembered something!"
Mom: "Hmm?"
Soo-Ah: (Smirking and pointing at Jin Wook)"We saw Ji-A at the café the other day… and I think our dear brother here might have a little crush on her!"
Jin Wook, who was calmly eating his food, suddenly choked mid-bite.
Jin Wook: "PFTT—Cough! Cough! Don't talk nonsense!"
Their father, who had been silently enjoying his meal, suddenly perked up with interest.
Dad: (Chuckling)"Oh? My son actually likes a girl?"
Unbeknownst to Jin Wook, his mom had already told Dad about Ji-A and the incident earlier.
Jin Wook glared at Soo-Ah while drinking water to calm himself.
(This little brat… she's enjoying this too much!)
Soo-Ah giggled, while Dad and Mom exchanged amused glances.
Meanwhile, outside the room, Ji-A stood frozen near the doorway, her cheeks slightly flushed as she overheard everything.
Here's a more refined and expressive version with a natural flow:
After a minute, Ji-A entered the dining room, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she spoke softly.
Ji-A: "Auntie, I just spoke to my dad. I told him everything, and he'll be here soon with my mom."
Jin Wook's Mom: (Smiling warmly)"That's good to hear, dear. Don't worry, you're safe here. Now come, sit and eat."
Ji-A nodded and quietly took her seat at the table. She picked up her chopsticks, but her face was noticeably red—the conversation she overheard earlier still lingering in her mind.
(Jin Wook… likes me? Did his sister really mean that?)
She subtly glanced at Jin Wook, who was eating as if nothing had happened, completely unfazed. Ji-A quickly looked down at her plate, trying to push away the sudden flustered feeling creeping up her face.
Noticing her hesitation, Jin Wook's Mom tilted her head in concern.
Mom: "Ji-A, dear, is the food not to your liking?"
Ji-A's head shot up immediately, eyes wide.
Ji-A: "N-no, Auntie! It's really delicious! I was just… thinking about something."
Jin Wook raised a brow at her odd behavior, but before he could say anything, Soo-Ah smirked knowingly from across the table.
Soo-Ah: (Teasingly)"Are you sure you're just thinking about something, unnie? You seem a little red~"
Ji-A almost choked on her rice, while Jin Wook shot Soo-Ah a glare.
Jin Wook: "Can you just eat quietly?"
Soo-Ah giggled, while Ji-A focused all her attention on eating, hoping her cheeks would cool down soon.