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Night fell. The sky was dark, the wind howled, and the stars barely flickered in the distance.
It was the worst time to do something good—but the best time to do something bad.
A faint streak of light rose from Lemu's seaside luxury villa, quickly vanishing into the vast night sky.
Tonight, the famous San Mungo Zoo was about to welcome an unexpected visitor.
A shadowy figure descended from above, landing quietly in a patch of grass. He crouched low, scanning his surroundings with sharp eyes.
'Great Sage, where's the panda enclosure? Mark it on my display.'
'Acknowledged.'
In his helmet's HUD, a bright red arrow appeared, pointing the way.
Lemu followed the marker, carefully stepping forward—
Thunk!
His foot kicked something solid. The sound it made was oddly familiar… like the thud of a bat hitting someone's head.
Two seconds passed. Three.
Then, suddenly—
A dark shadow sprang up from the ground with a startled yowl!
It was a lioness, easily over two meters in length. She staggered back, her low growls filling the night air as she crouched into a defensive stance. Her golden eyes locked onto the strange, metallic intruder in front of her, muscles tensed to strike.
Inside his suit, Lemu cracked his knuckles, feeling a hint of excitement surge through his veins. He shifted into a Wing Chun stance, his armored fists raised.
"Little lion, you wanna fight?"
"Come on, then!"
The lioness lowered her body further, her hind legs coiling like springs—ready to pounce.
Then, in a sudden burst of motion—
…she turned tail and bolted.
Lemu blinked, his stance faltering.
Inside the armor, he tilted his head in confusion.
The suit copied his movement, tilting its head as well.
"Wait… that wasn't a lion?"
He glanced after the retreating figure, finally taking a good look.
"Oh. It's just a fat orange tabby… Damn, how'd it get so big? I really thought I ran into a lion for a second there."
Shrugging, he turned back toward his real target.
The panda enclosure was just ahead.
The panda habitat was a modest bamboo grove, enclosed by two layers of security fences.
Inside, sprawled across a wooden platform, lay a massive black-and-white fluffball—lazily munching on bamboo.
Further inside, in a secluded den, lay a mother panda, fast asleep.
She had recently given birth, and nestled against her soft fur were three tiny panda cubs.
The babies had already started growing their signature black-and-white fur, but their coats were still short and fuzzy. Their bodies were plump yet clumsy, looking less like pandas and more like oversized, adorable mice.
They were so ugly… that they were actually cute.
Lemu extended a gloved hand and—ever so gently—poked the mother panda.
She did not react.
He poked one of the cubs.
It also ignored him.
Lemu took a deep breath.
Alright.
Time to steal a panda.
…Was he really going to take one?
Lemu hesitated.
The mother panda and her cubs were huddled together, their bodies pressed close. Even in their sleep, the tiny cubs clung tightly to their mother's fur, as if afraid to let go.
It was a heartwarming scene. Peaceful. Soothing.
For the first time tonight, a trace of guilt crept into his heart.
Stealing a panda wasn't just some casual act—it would cause a massive uproar.
First, the sudden disappearance of a panda would lead to widespread public outcry. If the media caught wind of it, this could explode into an international incident.
Second, the zoo staff would be in deep trouble. The caretakers would probably lose their jobs, and some of them might even be held financially responsible for the loss.
And lastly…
Lemu sighed. He didn't need an excuse—he simply didn't want to separate them. Fine. No panda-napping tonight. He'd just clone one instead.
Reaching into his dimensional storage, Lemu pulled out a long syringe. He glanced at the mother panda, then at the tiny cubs, who weren't much bigger than the syringe itself.
Yeah. Not happening. Turning on his heel, he walked back outside. In the small bamboo grove, the adult panda was still lounging flat on its back, lazily munching bamboo.
Chomp. Chew. Chomp. Chew.
It barely spared Lemu a glance when he approached. The metal suit was clearly not interesting enough to warrant any real attention.
Lemu moved closer. The panda yawned, rolled onto its side, and kept chewing. Lemu extended a hand. He wanted to feel the fur—to test if it was as soft as it looked. But just as his fingers touched its thick coat— Smack!
The panda swatted his hand away. Lemu blinked. Oh? Feisty, huh? Alright then. Plan B. From his dimensional storage, Lemu pulled out a large bottle of milk.
With a quick twist, he popped the cap open, letting the rich, creamy scent waft into the air. The effect was instant.
The panda's ears twitched. Its lazy, half-lidded eyes suddenly snapped open. It dropped the bamboo without hesitation, turned its chubby head, and locked onto the milk bottle like a predator spotting prey.
Then— With a soft huff, it scooted over, waving its paws in excitement. Lemu grinned.
The moment the panda grabbed the bottle, it plopped down on the ground, cradling it like a treasure, and started chugging.
Now was his chance.
With careful hands, Lemu squeezed and fluffed the panda's fur—left, right, up, down—testing the texture. Soft. Thick. Bouncy. Incredibly satisfying.
Finally, the milk ran out. Lemu quickly readied his syringe. Then— Stab. The needle pierced through the fur without resistance. The panda paused. Grunted.
Then… did absolutely nothing. It let out a content sigh, licked the last drops of milk from its lips, then sniffed at Lemu's armored suit.
A moment later— It started licking the metal.
Lemu, "…" This was the legendary eater of bamboo? It was so… dumb. And yet— So. Damn. Cute.
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If you want to read 15+ chapters ahead and unpublished fanfics you can check out my patreon or just take a visit.
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