Previously on MILF Mountain…
Despite all efforts to shake her off, Mona, the ultimate motherly force, has now joined the party.
Kazuya is in denial.
Sylvara is in rage.
Lady Ravynne is entertained.
Bradimus Maximus is simping.
And The Goose… has been domesticated.
Now, the real battle begins: surviving the overwhelming force of infinite mom energy.
THE UNAVOIDABLE MOM-IFICATION
Morning arrived.
Kazuya woke up feeling strangely warm. Like something soft and fluffy was wrapped around him.
He blinked.
Mona was draping a blanket over him.
"Oh, sweetie, you looked cold. Here, I even made you breakfast."
Kazuya screamed internally.
Sylvara stormed over. "NO. NO, YOU CAN'T JUST DO THIS. WE'RE ADVENTURERS. WE'RE SUPPOSED TO SUFFER."
Mona smiled sweetly. "Oh, nonsense, dear. A good breakfast gives you energy for suffering. Eat up!"
Sylvara knocked the plate away.
"HA! NO FOOD MEANS NO ENERGY TO MOM-IFY HIM. CHECKMATE."
Mona immediately produced another plate from nowhere.
Kazuya's soul left his body.
"HOW?! HOW DID YOU JUST MAGICALLY HAVE A BACKUP PLATE?!"
Mona giggled. "Oh, sweetie, moms are always prepared."
Sylvara clutched her head. "She's UNSTOPPABLE."
THE PARTY ADAPTS… POORLY.
The group sat in stunned silence.
Mona wasn't just around.
She had completely taken over.
✅ Camp was set up before anyone even blinked.
✅ All weapons were sharpened and polished overnight.
✅ Their clothes were magically washed and pressed.
✅ Even The Goose was getting belly rubs.
Bradimus Maximus, shaking, whispered:
"…Is this… is this what having a mom is like?"
Sylvara hissed. "Don't fall for it. She's trying to domesticate us."
Lady Ravynne smirked. "Well, it is nice not having to do anything."
Sylvara gasped. "NOT YOU TOO!"
Kazuya groaned. "Look, I can handle this, okay? I'll just… I'll just set boundaries."
Sylvara grabbed his shoulders.
"Kazuya. No one in the history of humanity has successfully set boundaries against a mom."
Kazuya shook his head.
"No, it'll be fine. I'll just tell her I need my space. She'll understand."
THE BOUNDARY ATTEMPT (AKA KAZUYA'S DOWNFALL)
Kazuya stood before Mona.
He took a deep breath.
"Mona, I… appreciate what you're doing. But I need some space."
Mona nodded understandingly.
"Of course, sweetie. I completely respect that."
Kazuya sighed in relief. "Oh, good. So you'll give me some time alone?"
Mona smiled.
"Absolutely. I'll just stay close by in case you need anything."
Kazuya froze.
"Wait, that's not—"
Mona immediately set up a chair two feet away from him.
She pulled out a knitting project.
Kazuya twitched.
"…You're still here."
Mona smiled. "Oh, sweetie, I'm not talking to you. I'm just here. No pressure at all."
Kazuya could feel his soul disintegrating.
THE FINAL STRAW
Sylvara dragged Kazuya back to the group.
"Okay. New plan. WE LEAVE."
Kazuya blinked. "Like, sneak out in the middle of the night?"
Sylvara nodded.
"It's the only way. We move fast, we don't look back, and we NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN."
Bradimus Maximus raised his hand. "Can we take Mona with us?"
Sylvara smacked him. "NO. YOU DON'T INVITE THE SOURCE OF THE PROBLEM."
Lady Ravynne chuckled. "This is gonna go terribly, but I want to watch."
THE ESCAPE PLAN (THAT FAILS IMMEDIATELY)
2:00 AM.
The party tiptoed out of camp.
Sylvara whispered, "Move slow. No sudden noises."
Kazuya nodded.
They crept into the forest.
They made it ten feet.
Then—
A soft voice behind them.
"Oh, are we going on a midnight adventure? Let me get my things."
Kazuya screamed.
Sylvara screamed.
Bradimus cheered.
Lady Ravynne cackled.
The Goose honked approvingly.
They were never escaping.
Mona was part of the party forever.
TO BE CONTINUED…