Five days and five nights passed since Tristessa returned to life and through time, apparently, after having traversed a new hell created exclusively with a raw material called madness. Five days and five nights in which she only left the guest room to go to the bathroom, clean herself up—which, among other things, involved washing her hair who suffered in a world where shampoo didn't exist—and return to that comfy cell that she voluntarily inhabited. She barely tasted the food that Tiara left for her on the other side of the door, with some unnecessary comment such as:
"I hope that you at least feel a little ashamed for having scared my son and abusing our hospitality."
Or also:
"I still can't forget the smell of Discord that you gave off that morning. Not even when I served on the military did I meet people blessed by the God of Chaos with so much Darkness inside them. Anyone would think that you are a witch."
To further hurt her self-esteem:
"You are such a crybaby, no man will want to marry you like that. Girls like you have no future, if you just spend all day crying and drowning in your own misery."
And she always asked her the same thing, at the end of her mournful observations:
"Won't you say anything back?"
Only for Tristessa to respond in the same way, swallowing her frustrations, her emotions, everything she felt:
"I'm sorry…"
Jin was the one who encouraged her to leave the room, walk around the house, or even go outside to enjoy the beautiful days the Domain were having. He didn't achieve his goal, but little by little Tristessa regained the will to speak.
Small victories are worth against any kind of defeat, was what the hunter said.
But it was Lucahn's visit that made part of the depressing loneliness that tied the girl to the room break, fill her with courage and open the door: the adorable boy was wearing an unbuttoned jacket, a shirt underneath, and a brown wool cap, making Tristessa melt with tenderness.
"Mommy won't let me in here," said the boy when Tristessa moved out of the way to let him in. "I don't know why, but I tried once and she got really mad."
"I think I do know…" she thought, glancing at the nightstand, where the photograph that both mother and father refused to throw away, or even kept closer to them, was on it. She decided to leave that topic behind for the moment and return her focus to Lucahn, who surprisingly did not have his big storybook with him. "What can I do for you?"
"Would you like to go outside?" he asked, a little flushed and unable to keep his knees still. "I have a little dog, we can play with him, if you want."
Tristessa smiled. Surely this was a new plan by Jin to get her out of the room, and he dared use Lucahn-type ammunition on her, a very dirty tactic since it was so effective. Behind her, the memory of the Lucahn from the previous timeline lingered like a doom-like presence that filled her soul with deep unease, but the Lucahn standing in front of her, alive and smiling with expectation and hope, was like a breath of fresh air that reached deeper into her core than the real wind that was coming in through the open window.
"Of course. Give me a minute to get ready. I sure don't look very presentable," she said, referring to her disheveled shirt and bare feet.
"N-no, you look…pretty."
"You are so adorable!"
"No, I am not!"
Several minutes later, Tristessa and Lucahn walked down the stairs and, without the presence of their parents in the way, went out into the backyard. It was surrounded by a wooden fence and housed a small stable on the side, with no horse or similar animal in sight. The grass had been recently cut, making its surface a good place to run and play.
"Gaal, come here!"
The black-haired girl expected to see a little dog, according to Lucahn's words, but what she saw was an old animal with wolf-like features, with gray fur and a long, hairy tail at the end. It was like a small tiger, which moved clumsily and with much effort due to the years it had been carrying. Still, like any domestic dog and regardless of how old it was, the animal was more than friendly and playful: it pounced on Lucahn and licked his face very affectionately, wagging its weird tail non-stop.
"Enough, enough!" Laughing, the boy pushed Gaal's snout away and looked at Tristessa, who was smiling from a distance. "Come, Miss Tristessa! Gaal is a good boy."
In another circumstance, in another world perhaps, she wouldn't have thought twice about it. But doubts still plagued her restless mind, about the way of being of the animals that abounded in Nekrom; after all, her short experiences had left her with very bad impressions.
But Gaal, perhaps sensing her fears, made the decision on his own and went to Tristessa.
"W-wait, I…" She found herself in the uncomfortable position of being sniffed on the legs by the long-tailed dog and being judged for it. "Lucahn, he doesn't feel my… You know…"
"You mean Discord? Of course he does, but don't worry: animals don't judge you for it. Daddy taught me that we the people are who learned to fear the Darkness that lives within us…" he said, lowering his gaze a little as Gaal reaffirmed his master's words by wagging his tail and sucking on the girl's fingers. "Miss Tristessa, I…"
"You can call me Triss, or Tessa," she interrupted, smiling warmly and now confidently enough to stroke the animal's back, who gladly accepted her caresses. "I think… There were people who called me both."
"Very well, T-Tessa… I'm sorry for what I did!"
The boy's cry caught the surprised attention of both Tristessa and Gaal, who went to his side as quickly as he could, worried about him.
"I-I didn't mean to be so rude, I got scared and said horrible things! A-and y-you screamed so much, and you fainted. Was it my fault? Because of what I said?"
The girl's heart twisted as she saw him sniffling, wiping his tears with the sleeve of his jacket, and trying to hide his face under the shadow of his hat.
"Hey, hey, don't say that. Don't even think about it," she said quickly, going over to him and bending down a little to wipe away his tears. The annoyed grimace on his face was that of a little man who refused out of pride to cry his heart out in front of a lady, but he was certainly close to doing so. "You didn't do anything wrong. What happened to me was something completely unrelated to what you said."
"W-what was that?"
The shadow that crossed the girl's face, grim and sinister, scared Lucahn and his dog alike. No… It wasn't her dark gaze, but the Discord that emanated from her soul when she reviewed the consequences of breaking the taboo in her mind, in an undesirable thread of memories worthy of oblivion, but that would never disappear.
"It's not something I want to talk about… Hey, what's going on?" she asked, realizing how cautious Lucahn was being, hugging his dog tightly. "You feel it, right? My Discord?"
Lucahn nodded, calm slowly returning to him as Tristessa soothed her own aching soul and hid her horrible memories in the dark confines of her mind.
"How can you feel it? What is Discord?"
"It's not like it's something exclusive to me or my mommy… We can all feel each other's souls if they're very…striking? I don't really know how to explain it, it's something natural, like breathing," replied the boy, who then closed his eyes to concentrate and enter his didactic mode. He opened them in no time, shining like two beautiful blue stars. "I know! Imagine you're at a big banquet, and you have a table full of delicious food in front of you. You have fried fish, roasted vegetables, fruit cocktails, and trays of sugary desserts, but your attention is focused on the big roasted Alpha Boar in the center of the table. You see it standing out among the other dishes, and then you smell its delicious aroma above the rest."
"My stomach is growling," Tristessa muttered, imagining what an Alpha Boar would be like and taste like.
"It's the same with souls. The densest and most abundant ones draw more attention than the others, to the point where it's impossible not to feel them. And Discord is the very essence of Darkness, one of the two primary elements that make up souls; that's the scent we smell at the banquet, so to speak."
"I see… And my soul emanates a lot of Discord."
"It's like a Rhinophant being served on the table, engulfed in flames and charred. You can't not see it, you can't not feel it," the boy added, scratching his head uncomfortably. "Your dark soul is too dense, Tessa."
She nodded, a little depressed. She didn't know what a Rhinophant was either, but she had an idea of what it meant on a spiritual level: every time her soul went out of control and expelled Discord, it would be like a sudden shadow that enveloped everything around her, leaving nothing but fear, uncertainty, and hostility.
"B-but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing! It's just that, well… With a soul like that, you'll be associated with Vel'Moran very easily. And that's not good because…" Gaal sensed the fragility in Lucahn's voice and gave him a loving nudge on the head to cheer him up. He wasn't very successful, given the topic they were discussing. "…well, you know, it's about the Dark Lady. I-I don't want to talk about that. Not her, and not the EvilDream."
Lucahn hugged Gaal again, earning a comforting lick on the cheek. It was strange to Tristessa to see that the boy didn't want to expose his knowledge on that subject, after in the previous timeline he had no problem doing so. But in the current context, there was Tristessa's exposed soul and her abundant Discord, having made a very negative impression on him.
"I appreciate your explanation, Lucahn. Now I understand several things, but, I also want you to understand something: you were not at fault for what happened that morning, okay? Cheer up," she asked him, crouching down to his level and managing to remove the gloomy veil that had enveloped the boy's heart. His smile was a caress to the soul, and Tristessa could not help but steal his hat and ruffle it with a few rough caresses. "If you don't, I'll keep your cap."
"Hey, don't do that!"
Laughing, Lucahn began to chase Tristessa around the yard, followed by Gaal who barked with pure happiness overcoming the tiredness of his old body. And from the kitchen window, Tiara watched with a smile, while she caressed her belly.