Chadwick really needed to learn to close his bedroom window—especially when he wasn't home. Any random intruder could slip in, like the feral cat or a pack of feral women, eager to claim his balls like some Turbo Granny. Or, they could just steal whatever they wanted... and that was exactly what this group was about to do.
Mila glanced at Kandi, then at Seraphina, who had climbed up the conservatory and was now pulling Chadwick's bedroom window fully open. "So, we're kidnapping his waifu pillow... and then he's going to fall in love with all of us?"
"Exactly," Seraphina confirmed, swinging the window open with ease—not because of her strength, but because it was already unlocked. She smirked. "And naturally, the chances of him sleeping with us will increase. Statistically speaking, of course."
"It's not technically kidnappin'... it's more like waifu-nappin'," Kandi said.
Seraphina landed in Chad's bedroom with a heavy thump, still seething over how his saliva-covered dick from all of them had been ruined by the swim girls. That saliva was not for them to enjoy!! It was for his waifu!"
In a fit of rage, she spat on the floor, completely forgetting she was still standing there—then, with an annoyed huff, rubbed it in with her heel.
...Yeah, maybe heels weren't the best choice for a high-stakes bedroom break-in—especially when a quick and stealthy entry and exit were required.
Not like she had Googled how to rob a house or anything...
Mila and Kandi stepped inside, and all three of them stared. Chadwick's waifu pillow lay perfectly tucked in on his striped bed sheets—wearing a sleep mask.
"Wait, he actually puts a sleep mask on his waifu pillow?! Who does that?!" Mila blinked.
"So we're really 'bout to waifu-nap his waifu... while his waifu is napping?" Kandi snorted, doubling over laughing.
Something stiff and sticky squished underfoot as Seraphina stepped forward, and she glanced down to find a sock clinging to her heel. Grimacing, she peeled it off and held it up for inspection, one eyebrow arched. "I wish they made women's socks this stiff and sturdy," she mused, bending the sock experimentally, unaware that it was Chad's… special sock. "Mine always get holes in like two seconds… I'm tossing them out constantly. But men's socks? Rock solid. I might just switch to buying these bad boys instead."
Rolling her eyes so hard they nearly popped out, Kandi scoffed, "Of course men get the good stuff… better socks, better everything. It's the patriarchy at work. Women out here simping over guys, handing them all this VIP treatment, when honestly, only Chad deserves it."
Eyes wide, Mila stared at the rigid sock dangling from Seraphina's hand. "Wait… hold up! That's Chad's jizz sock! Don't wave it around like that!"
Seraphina and Kandi froze, then blurted in unison, "His what?!" A beat later, they lunged for it, yanking the sock back and forth between them, each desperate to claim the bizarre trophy. With the force of a powerhouse forged in the gritty trenches of nude mud wrestling, Seraphina effortlessly ripped the sock from Kandi's grasp. Kandi's short, oddly worshipped arms—stubby as stumps yet adored by her crew—flapped in vain as the prize slipped away.
Mila shot Seraphina a sidelong glance, her brow furrowing as she watched her clutch the sock to her chest, cradling it like a fragile, cherished infant fresh from the womb. "We…" Mila started, her voice a shaky mix of irritation and disbelief, "didn't sneak in here to loot Chad's place like lowlife thieves! We came for his waifu… that's the mission, end of story!"
Letting out a slow, theatrical sigh, Seraphina's shoulders slumped as if conceding defeat. "Fine… you're right…" she murmured, then perked up with a sly grin. "But how about a quick taste… for, y'know, memorabilia?" She dangled the sock temptingly, its crusty edges swaying.
The girls exchanged wild, electric looks before erupting together, "Let's do it!" Their voices collided in a giddy, reckless harmony.
Holding up the sock like a prize, Seraphina led the girls as they crowded around, taking turns licking it eagerly. Their tongues moved fast, like thirsty animals at a small stream.
Then they turned it inside out and kept going, licking the dry, crusty cum layered inside from months of Chad's many sessions.
Stuffing the sock into her tight leather skinny jeans, Seraphina slid it into her panties and ground against it with slow, deliberate hip rolls. Glancing at the other two girls, she asked, "Could this get me pregnant?"
Mila explained. "Nah, sperm doesn't last long outside a dick… It dies within a couple of hours when exposed to air or sunlight…. Like vampires… kinda"
Kandi's lip quivered, tears spilling. "Chad's poor sperm! They… they can't just die like that!"
Nodding solemnly, Seraphina said, "RIP to them."
"That's why sperm has to get inside a girl—to live and flourish," Mila shrugged.
Kandi pictured tiny Chad sperm thriving inside her. "What do they eat? Do they eat the food I ate that's in my stomach?"
"Sure, then they turn into beautiful babies," Mila grinned.
Kandi shot a withering glare at the waifu pillow. "This smug Egyptian cotton waifu couldn't birth a pillow baby if she tried," she sneered, yanking the sleeping mask off its flat, printed face.
"She doesn't even look Egyptian… more like a mishmash of every anime trope ever. I mean, that butt? Flat as… well, a freaking pillow," Mila quipped, laughing.
That broke them. Laughter erupted, loud and unstoppable—half the group doubled over, slapping their knees like it was a comedy roast. Too real, too perfect. Mila tilted her head, lips pursed in mock contemplation, her eyes darting to the pillow as if decoding the mystery of his waifu obsession on some profound, existential level.
Mila leaned forward, flashing a devilish grin. "Okay, real talk… What positions even work with a waifu pillow? Doggy Style? Spooning her flat little face?"
As if solving a math problem, Kandi furrowed her brow. "Uh, maybe Doggy Style, like you said. I guess? Like, wouldn't she just flop over mid-thrust?"
Cackling, Mila slapped her knee. "Flop over? What, like a drunk pancake?"
Kandi tilted her head, chewing her lip. "Yeah, but… does he, like, prop her up with books or somethin'?"
"Why don't we just wait for Chad… in his room?" Seraphina said, crossing her arms, her voice dripping with challenge, "And let him show us every damn position AND pin he knows?"
["Chad hasn't even seen any of your boobs yet, and he can't remember any of the academy girls… even those who've flashed their butts, bushes, and breasts, or even the ones who've gotten fully naked for him, given him oral, or had sex with him. The guy forgets it all. The chances of him remembering any of you… ladies? A solid zero. (0 × 47 + 13 - 13) ÷ (5² - 25) × (9³ - 729) + 0… yep, zero. Even the readers have forgotten about you. Sure, you made your debut in book one, chapter one, but let's be real… nobody remembers any of you."]
Seraphina scoffed at the narrator. "Screw his waifu! That's just one pillow for him to enjoy. How about we ditch the clothes, storm Chad's bed, and stack it up? One girl with two pillows each…?" She ran her hands over her boobs theatrically as she said it. "3 of us… twelve pillows in total, if you count our asses as pillows as well. I can crunch numbers too, genius."
Mila frowned, arms crossed. "And you don't think he'll absolutely lose his mind when he finds out we broke in through his window and got naked in his bed?"
Seraphina cracked her knuckles. "Tch. Like he'd have the guts to complain. But if he does? We'll just tell him the GPS crapped out, we got lost, and then our clothes fell off due to strong winds that made us. Then, the wind blew us all into his bed."
Kandi scratched her head, lips pursed in thought. "Huh... yeah, that actually sounds kinda plausible. I think he'll buy it."
["So the only way you lot can get a guy is by stripping off all your clothes and throwing yourselves at him? Seriously? Maybe… just maybe… try talking to him first. You know, like actually having a proper conversation? Maybe even a meaningful one? Ask about his hobbies, share your interests, and discuss literally anything that isn't just... well, this. I don't know… Just a thought."]
Seraphina sneered, "You STFU, you voyeur bitch! It's obvious… You're just jealous and want Chad all to yourself!!"
["Pttf!! Chad wants me... I don't want him."]
Mila rolled her eyes. "Why would he even want you? You're just a voice, nothing more."
Kandi sauntered forward with a smug sway, smirking like she owned the room. "Why would he pick you when he could have me: a world-class idol idolised by millions?" With a dramatic twirl, she shed her clothes, exposing a lithe, dainty body—pert, small breasts that sat high like a dancer's, barely a handful but perfectly symmetrical, paired with a tight, round butt that curved just enough to tease. Her legs stretched forever, slender and fragile, her porcelain skin gleaming as if dusted with starlight. She arched her back, boobs thrust forward, butt perked, posing like she was mid-performance, every inch a fragile fantasy sculpted for worship.
Mila laughed, flipping her hair with a taunting edge. "Dream on. He'd drool over this: an Instagram queen built to break the internet." She slid her clothes off in one slick move, revealing a voluptuous frame—full, heavy breasts that bounced slightly, nipples dark against her sun-drenched skin, and a lush, heart-shaped butt that jiggled with every step, thick yet toned. Her curves flowed from a nipped waist to firm, juicy thighs, her golden body radiating heat like a summer shoot. She cocked a hip, letting her boobs sway, butt flexed, a living filter of feminine perfection.
Seraphina yanked her clothes off with a snarl, slamming into a power stance. "Or this: a wrestler who'd snap you both in half." Her naked form was a wall of muscle—breasts compact and firm, pressed tight against her chest from years of training, unyielding as the rest of her, and a butt like twin boulders, solid and unshakeable, carved from endless squats. Her thighs bulged with power, her abs a jagged grid, every sinew screaming strength. She flexed, her boobs barely shifting, her butt clenched like iron, her body a raw, brutal machine built to crush.
["Kandi, those tiny tits and twig ass flop without the spotlight. Mila, your jiggly boobs and fat butt reek of desperation. Seraphina, clothes made you scarier… naked, your flat pecs and hard ass look weak. and honestly, I could probably take you in a fight… no problem."]
Cracking her knuckles, lips curling into a sneer, Seraphina said, "Sure, you peeping hoe. Whenever you're ready to fight, I'm here. In the meantime, you can just watch us sleep with Chad while his ugly-ass waifu looks on."
["You… really… really need to watch what you say."]
All three girls climbed into Chad's bed, completely naked, as Mila raised an eyebrow and asked, "So, how is this narrator talking to us again? Is she doing it telepathically or something? It feels like a voice in the background…"
Kandi shook her head, her tone soft but certain. "No, not in the background… It sounds…intimate, like it's right next to us…"
Nodding, Mila's gaze became distant. "Yeah, it's almost like... it's right there with us, like... right next to us."
Irritated, Seraphina grabbed Chad's waifu pillow from the middle of the bed and was about to toss it aside when they heard the narrator again, this time with a soft, unsettling laugh:
["Heehee... Nyaa~… You're mine now! Muahahaha!!"]
In perfect unison, they all gasped, "The narrator is Alixia!! His waifu pillow!" The large, anime-style eyes of the pillow, though adorably cute, narrowed with an unsettling intensity. It was as if the pillow's innocent, sweet expression masked something far darker, its gaze piercing through Seraphina, sending a cold shiver down her spine.