Chad unbuttoned his trousers and flashed his dick and balls, then froze—shit, he forgot his privates were still sticky, crusted with dried cum from unloading after ditching Bishop and Kerry's place. He cringes, but at least she can see the cat scratches etched across his junk.
Wide-eyed, she stared.
Autumn froze, eyes popping wide as saucers. "Blimey… what a bloody cock!" she gasped, voice quivering with raw want. "That's a proper thick beast—mucky as hell, all smeared with cum and sweat, glistening like it's been dragged through a barn. I'd climb that in a heartbeat! Look at it… sticky, grimy, that ripe stink of a lad who's been at it. You need a dunk in me tin bath out back, and I'll scrub it meself… hands on, proper rough, till it's gleaming!"
She was implying he had hygiene issues? That was rich coming from her… And if the dog so much as glanced at his dick, he'd be yanking his trousers up faster than she could let out a queef.
With a grin, she said, "I'm proper glad I met ya… Now I know Humpy might be human... doin' certain things with her won't be classed as illegal if she's technically human... I'll be watchin' that hentai ya recommended and see if they're actually human."
Hentai! Hentai!
His brain buzzed; it was anime. Well, technically it was ecchi, but at least she didn't call it a cartoon. How had this farm lass even heard of hentai? She was full of surprises.
Of course, he hadn't watched My Life as Inukai-san's Dog, so he could only assume...
But there was a bigger worry right now—one far worse than any anime or hentai. A serious topic: How the hell was he getting out of this mess? He was standing there, dick hanging loose, facing a naked woman, and he was dead terrified—really didn't want his junk anywhere near her pussy, catching diseases like STDs, HIV, HMV, BBC, CNN, crabs, or whatever acronyms and sea creatures he could end up with...
The still fully naked Autumn couldn't tear her eyes off his dick, practically drooling as she stared, while Humpy sniffed and tugged at her dress tangled around their legs on the floor—almost loose now. Autumn rasped, voice dripping with hunger, "That wife you mentioned… she must bloody worship ridin' that beauty."
Ooh, his waifu… Visions of Alixia flooded his head—fanart decked out in sultry gear: skimpy lingerie, bikinis, schoolgirl skirts, corsets, sailor suits, latex bodysuits, fishnet stockings, silky nightgowns, babydoll sets, clingy minidresses, and catsuits. Then his mind snapped to that waifu pillow waiting back home.
His dick secretly went rogue, twitching and thrashing, spraying cum like a busted hose—he had no clue until he glanced down. "Oh fuck," he thought, gawking at his cock, then spotting a hefty load splattered all over Autumn's dress on the floor, right as the doggo pulled its legs free of it.
Autumn scoffed, tossing her head back with a sharp, exasperated huff, her eyes flashing with a mix of scorn and hunger.
"You couldn't wait five bleedin' seconds, could ya? What a sodding waste… I wanted that hot mess drenchin' me, dripping down me tits, streakin' across me belly, and all over me skin 'til I was soaked in it! But no, you had to go and finish early like some randy lad who can't hold his load. Tch."
She crossed her arms, lips curling into a begrudging smirk.
"Mind you, watchin' it spurt out like that, wild and messy… that was kinda steamin' hot, I ain't gonna lie."
Out here, he could revel in the freedom a bit, unbound by the fear of policewomen clamping cuffs on him for public exposure—like that one time a cop shackled him to a cell bed. As he was on the brink of exploding, she mistook his throbbing release for a lethal weapon, blasting him with a taser right in the dick and balls. The jolt turned his orgasm into a wild, electric frenzy, searing through him with mind-blowing intensity.
Chad loved how damn good it felt to cum in nature's hot grip. The teasing breezes slid over his sweaty skin, shifting from cool to warm, driving him crazy. The thick scent of grass and wildflowers filled his nose, primal and dizzying, urging him on as he let go. Then the whiff of horse shit hit, dimming the high a bit.
But Autumn, standing there completely bare, still wasn't fully satisfied. She strode up to Chad's dripping cock, ran a finger through the wet mess, and slipped it into her mouth, savouring it with a slow lick. Her eyes—dark, smouldering, wild with want—snapped up to his, pupils blown wide. "Stick it in me now, lad," she rasped, her voice low and rough, thick with that country burr and shaking with need. "Don't you bloody make me wait."
With deliberate slowness, she brought that dripping finger to her lips, parting them just enough to slip it inside. Her tongue flicked out, swirling over her fingertip as she let out a soft, pleased hum. The taste of him spread over her tongue, igniting a deeper hunger. Her eyes shot up to lock onto his, pupils dilated. "I need ye now... inside me," she breathed, her voice low and trembling with urgency.
Chad hesitated, his doubt clear. "What about protection?" He wasn't sure he even wanted to continue, especially without it. Maybe this was his chance to back out… He'd already shot his load and had no desire to go again, especially not with a pussy that had been licked by a dog…
"Protection from what?" she asked, half-laughing. "Humpy'll protect us… She's a big ol' doggy! Woof woof!" She made a playful bark, wagging her imaginary tail.
"No… That's not what I... I mean… not Humpy… I – I meant protection… like from a Rubber Johnny."
"No, no, Johnny... don't bring him into this," she replied quickly, her voice quivering but quick.
"I just want it to be me an' you...." she said as her hand moved up his balls and gave them a good lift, like an old-fashioned banker weighing money by hand.
At least she didn't say "him and her... and Humpy".
"Condom! Condom, condom!" he repeated frantically. Thankfully, not in front of a mirror, invoking some Bloody Mary-like curse where you repeat their name three times. He really doesn't want to deal with a condom monster haunting him right now.
She sighed, grabbed something from the ground, and said, "Just use this, alright?" as she unceremoniously wrapped it around his junk. He paused, the sharp crinkle of the material catching his attention. It doesn't feel like a condom, he thought. It was too stiff, too crinkly, and... plastic. He looked down, eyes widening in disbelief, as he saw a Cheetos potato chips bag, its vibrant orange logo now pressed tightly around him. The cold, slick plastic clung to his skin, sending an uncomfortable chill up his spine. It felt unnatural.