Nice this time of year? Probably not quite as pleasant in autumn, though.
"The dog's been staring at your... woman parts," Chad said, his voice growing quieter and more uncomfortable. "Maybe... maybe you should check if he's got an erection or something? That'd, uh, help you figure out if he's, you know... a pervert or not... I guess...?" He trailed off, clearly unsure of his own words, shifting awkwardly as he spoke.
"But Humpy's a lass, not a lad."
Time to cancel Chad for assuming genders.
"Oh," Chad said frantically, his face going red. "I didn't know it was a girl... I mean, I never saw its doggy tits or, you know... so I had no idea... all dogs look the same." His voice trailed off, and he shifted uncomfortably, clearly trying to backpedal on his mistake. The doggo, still eager, moved toward his leg again, but she was quickly pulled back on the leash.
"You don't seem too sure about it," she said, scooping up Humpy and lifting her from behind in a reverse bear hug. "Go have a gander at her genitals…"
Chad pulled a face reminiscent of the "do not want" dog meme—a wide-eyed, disgusted expression, as if overwhelmed by an unwanted situation. He scrunched up his face even more, his expression twisting in revulsion as he spat out, "I don't... I really don't like vag... vajayjay... with hair... or fur on it... hard pass on that."
Autumn set the dog down, chuckling. "Well, that's a right subtle way of sayin' you fancy me shaved pus pus... nice and direct, ain't it?"
Chad definitely didn't want any of her pus or, well, pussy—you know. And if he were to have sexy time with her, would he really have wanted to do it with her dog around? He could tell she was far too attached to it. Plus, the idea of going outside her cottage to have sex with her in a freezing tin bath—with onlookers—was a hard pass. Not in this season.
He could try to run, but how fast could he go? His legs were too cramped from the sticky jizz in his pants, and if he tried to escape, she might just hop on horseback with the dog and chase after him.
No... he needed a different plan. He thought back to an anime he'd heard of—definitely, totally hadn't watched (honest)—and got an idea of how to get out of this mess.
"There's this, uh... show... called My Life as Inukai-san's Dog… Not that I've watched it or anything!" Chad blurted out, a little too quickly. "I just, you know... heard about it. People talk about it. A lot. For some reason."
He coughed, shifting uncomfortably. "A-anyway, in that show—which, again, I totally haven't seen—there's this dog that's actually a human."
He forced a casual shrug. "And, uh, your dog... Humpy... kinda acts human-like too. Maybe—just maybe—it's a human trapped in a dog's body. Not, like, someone who identifies as a dog or whatever. I mean literally... 100% a dog."
"Humpy's a human?" She inspected the dog, tilting her head. "Well... Humpy does feel a bit like me husband, aye, when they're playin' with me tits."
Did she say husband or husbando? Chad wasn't sure.
Look at what Humpy did to 'em. She then lifts down her top, showing her Hello Kitty bra.
He wasn't sure if he should say hello to this kitty or not.
She went further than that. She reached back and unhooked the Hello Kitty bra, letting it drop away with a theatrical flick of her wrist. The bra landed on Humpy's head as he looked up from low to the ground. The Hello Kitty bra spilt onto her head from this angle. As she moved, Autumn's full, naturally occurring, autumn-toned breasts above jiggled a little. They are dotted with freckles, a thick smattering of small brown dots that cling to the tops and follow the curves.
They were damn nice tits, Chad admitted to himself—a solid handful, perky, not drooping like his balls. But he was still puzzling over why she was suddenly flashing them when something caught his eye: are those… tattoos? No, scarification? Or just her freckles playing tricks on him? He can't tell, and he's not even pretending to look away from her chest.
He really hated face tattoos and body tats. Then he thought back—wait, didn't he win some sort of bet where some girls had to get his face and his waifu's face tattooed on their tits? He wished he could remember which girls he made the bet with to see if they went through with it.
How odd was this—she'd got a bra on but no undies! What sort of weirdo did that? Imagine if she wore Hello Kitty panties: you'd eyeball that cute design, smirk, and say, "Hello, Kitty," then she'd slide 'em down, flash her pussy, and you'd grin, "Hello, Kitty," to the other one.
Autumn broke the silence. "Me poor tits! Humpy went wild on 'em—scratchin' an' clawin' like no tomorrow!"
Now it clicks: those are scratch marks and bite marks. Crazy dog, he thinks. Imagine that kind of damage to his balls or dick—he winced at the thought, phantom pain kicking in. Having now seen her tits and pussy, his curiosity about Autumn fizzles out. His waifu, though? Still got him hooked. He's never seen her naked—just fan edits and a teasing glimpse of side boob from the show. The mystery's what keeps him obsessed.
She let her dress drop clean to the ground, crumpling onto the mucky path smack by the horse dung, her bare arse out for all to see. "Scratched me all over 'ere too!" she hollered.
At least there weren't any warts or weird cysts on her butt.
She stood there naked and staring at him, while her doggo, on the leash, just goes around in circles observing her nude body at different angles.
Was she waiting for me to compliment her body or something? He could mention her tits or butt—she'd probably like that… But when his gaze accidentally drifted down to her shaved pussy, the words slipped out before he could stop them. He heard bees or wasps swarming around him, and that gave him the perfect thing to say: "They're the bee's knees."
She blinked hard, eyes narrowing as her head jerked back. "Me knees are the bee's knees, are they? Thank you... but that ain't what I want ya to be commentin' on," she said, standing there naked in front of him.
He meant her tits… She stared at him then, her gaze awkward. Was she waiting for him to say something about her scars? Complimenting her scars felt like complimenting someone's wrist scars—totally weird. Maybe he could relate... Yeah, that was it! "Your scars... from Humpy, right? I've got my own… scars on my balls and dick from this stray cat that always shows up while I'm pleasuring my waifu. It lunges at me and attacks my balls and causes them."
She just stared at him like he was bullshitting. He is going to have to prove it to her.