Prompt: Asta and Noelle have never been subtle about their relationship, but somehow, their friends remain oblivious—until they start noticing just how close the two really are. Determined to uncover the supposed secret, the Black Bulls and their allies embark on a ridiculous investigation, convinced they're onto something big. However, when they finally confront Asta and Noelle, the truth leaves them as the real fools.
—
The Black Bulls were used to Asta and Noelle being close. It had been that way since the start. The two trained together, bickered like an old married couple, and were practically glued at the hip whenever they went on missions. But that was normal, right? Just really good friends.
Sure, Asta always lit up like a sunrise when Noelle was around, and sure, Noelle would do that thing where she'd cross her arms and huff but then sneak glances at him when she thought no one was looking. But that's just how they were. Right?
"Hey, Noelle," Asta's voice rang through the Black Bulls' hideout. "You cold?"
"No, of course not," Noelle scoffed, rubbing her arms.
"Here!" Asta grinned and draped his cloak over her shoulders before she could protest. "You're always getting cold."
Vanessa, sprawled out on the couch with a bottle of wine, quirked a brow. Noelle didn't throw the cloak back at him like she usually did when she got flustered. In fact, she just… wore it.
"Huh."
At the dining table, Magna and Luck paused mid-argument over who won their last sparring match. Noelle was pulling pieces from Asta's plate and eating them without hesitation. Asta didn't bat an eye, even casually cutting up some meat and placing it on her plate in return.
"Huh."
Finral, watching from across the room, narrowed his eyes.
"Hey, has anyone noticed—"
"Noticed what?" Charmy asked, popping up from seemingly nowhere, stuffing her face with a biscuit.
"That," Finral gestured vaguely toward Asta and Noelle, now huddled together looking at a single map. Their arms were pressed together, heads leaning in close. "They're… kinda close, huh?"
"Eh, they've always been like that," Magna shrugged.
"Yeah, but..." Finral watched as Asta wiped something off Noelle's cheek with his thumb. She didn't even react.
"…Huh."
—
The Golden Dawn Had Their Doubts Too
Yuno had learned long ago to tune out Asta's nonsense, but lately, something had been off.
Mimosa had noticed it too. "Um, Yuno… I might be overthinking, but do you think Asta and Noelle are… a thing?"
Yuno blinked. "What? No. They're just loud."
"Yes, but—" Mimosa cut herself off when Asta waltzed into the Golden Dawn base (because at this point, no one even tried to stop him), Noelle following behind him. They had clearly just come from training, Asta's shirt was missing, and Noelle looked slightly exasperated, holding his water bottle in her hands.
"Seriously, you're going to get heatstroke one of these days," Noelle muttered, handing him the bottle.
"That's why you're here to take care of me, right?" Asta grinned.
Mimosa gasped. Yuno frowned.
Asta took a sip, then passed the bottle back. She drank from the same spot without hesitation.
Yuno frowned deeper. "…Huh."
—
Nozel Was Unsettled
Noelle had always been difficult, but lately, she had been… different.
For one, she no longer seemed to mind when that peasant was around. In fact, she sought him out.
He had tolerated her associating with the Black Bulls because he knew she needed the training. He had accepted her friendship with Asta because it kept her motivated. And it would be suffocating for her if she kept her distance from her own squad, like a stranger amongst their ranks.
Nozel would like to think, he'd been very understanding.
But this?
Nozel watched from the distance as Noelle leaned against a tree, Asta beside her, his arm draped over her shoulders while they talked about something utterly trivial.
She didn't push him away.
She didn't insult him.
She just… let it happen.
Nozel's eye twitched.
"…Huh."
—
Conclusion: They Had to Get to the Bottom of This
One by one, people started noticing. The way Asta and Noelle stood just a little too close. How their hands brushed and neither of them flinched away. How they shared food, water, even clothes without a second thought.
How they were, essentially, acting like a couple.
The realization was slow, creeping up on them, but once it clicked, it clicked.
"Okay," Vanessa muttered, swirling her drink. "Are they dating?"
"No way," Magna scoffed. "We'd know, right?"
"They do act like it," Charmy added, eyes narrowing.
"They definitely do," Mimosa agreed.
Nozel was silent, arms crossed.
"They're definitely hiding something." Yuno, for once, sounded completely sure of himself.
The Black Bulls, Golden Dawn, and more exchanged glances.
There was only one thing left to do.
Investigate.
—
The Black Bulls were never known for their subtlety.
"Alright, team!" Finral announced dramatically, standing on a chair. "We're going to gather conclusive evidence on Asta and Noelle's relationship."
"We're spying on them," Vanessa translated.
"Exactly!" Finral nodded.
"Why?" Grey asked hesitantly.
"Because they've been suspiciously close, and if they really are dating, we deserve to know!"
Magna crossed his arms. "I dunno, man. Maybe they're just really good friends."
Luck grinned. "Well, let's find out, shall we?"
Vanessa smirked. "This'll be fun."
Meanwhile, in the Golden Dawn, Yuno, Mimosa, and Klaus sat in their own impromptu investigation meeting.
"Following them is childish," Klaus insisted, adjusting his glasses.
"We'll be observing them," Mimosa corrected, hands clasped. "Yuno, you're in, right?"
Yuno crossed his arms, eyes narrowed. "Of course."
Klaus sighed in defeat.
And so, the great Asta-Noelle Relationship Investigation began.
—
Mission #1: The Market Stakeout
The Black Bulls followed from a distance, poorly disguised.
Asta and Noelle had gone out for supplies, chatting normally. The group watched in anticipation.
Then, Asta suddenly leaned down and tucked Noelle's hair behind her ear.
"Whoa!" Finral hissed.
"They're being so obvious," Mimosa whispered from a different hiding spot, watching with Klaus and Yuno.
Klaus's eye twitched. "That is not normal behavior for just friends."
Luck grinned. "Oh, this is getting good—"
Asta suddenly turned toward them.
"—HIDE!"
Asta blinked as he swore he saw a bunch of cloaked figures dive behind some crates. "Huh."
"What?" Noelle asked.
"Nothing," Asta shrugged, grabbing a bag of apples. "Oh, let's get this one! It's the one you like, right?"
Noelle hesitated, then nodded.
"They know each other's favorite food," Klaus muttered.
Finral and Vanessa exchanged knowing looks.
"Huh."
—
Mission #2: Training Session Surveillance
The next phase involved watching Asta and Noelle train together, which should've been normal.
It wasn't.
Asta and Noelle stood close—too close.
Noelle flicked her wrist, summoning a small water spell. "Alright, try dodging this—"
Asta rushed forward, but before he could move, Noelle stumbled.
He caught her. Instinctively. Easily.
Their faces were inches apart.
Everyone watching froze.
Asta just laughed. "Careful, Noelle."
Noelle cleared her throat, face slightly pink. "I was careful!"
Asta just smirked and kept holding her for a second too long.
"They're definitely dating," Magna whispered.
"I refuse to believe it until we have absolute proof," Klaus insisted.
But Yuno?
Yuno was frowning deeply.
"Something isn't right."
—
Mission #3: The Ultimate Test – Nighttime Watch
The final test was a high-stakes operation.
The Black Bulls—and their reluctant allies in Golden Dawn—gathered at the hideout that evening.
Asta and Noelle had finished training and were sitting outside, looking at the night sky.
"They're so comfortable with each other," Mimosa whispered, peeking through the bushes.
"Look at that—he just passed her his drink, and she didn't even hesitate to sip from it," Finral murmured.
"They're sharing a blanket," Klaus added.
"They're so dating," Vanessa concluded.
"They must be hiding it from us on purpose," Finral said with conviction.
Luck grinned. "Which means we have no choice."
Yuno sighed. "We confront them."
Everyone nodded.
Tomorrow, they would corner Asta and Noelle, and finally get the truth.
—
The Black Bulls were buzzing with excitement.
The Golden Dawn was composed but equally determined.
After days of intense observation, the evidence was overwhelming—Asta and Noelle had to be dating. The way they shared food, lingered in each other's space, and casually touched like it was second nature… It was too much.
They were clearly hiding their relationship, but not for long.
Today, they would break them.
—
Asta and Noelle were completely unprepared for what awaited them when they stepped into the Black Bulls' common room that morning.
The second they walked in, they were met with a semicircle of their friends (plus Yuno, Mimosa, and Klaus, who had no real reason to be there but were equally invested at this point).
Asta blinked. "Uh… good morning?"
Noelle frowned. "What's with all the weird faces?"
Vanessa smirked. "Sit."
Asta and Noelle exchanged glances before cautiously doing as told.
Finral clapped his hands together. "Alright, you two. Enough secrecy."
"We know what you've been hiding," Magna added, arms crossed.
Luck grinned. "So just confess already!"
Asta and Noelle stared at them in confusion.
"Confess what?" Asta asked.
"That you two are dating!" Mimosa blurted, eyes wide with excitement.
Silence.
Asta and Noelle looked at each other.
Then back at them.
Then back at each other.
Then—
"Wait," Noelle said slowly, blinking. "You… didn't know?"
The group blinked.
"Of course we didn't know!" Klaus said, exasperated. "You never told us!"
Asta tilted his head. "I mean… we didn't not tell you."
Yuno frowned. "What do you mean?"
Asta rubbed the back of his head. "We've been together since, like… right after we met?"
Noelle nodded. "Yeah, it's been a while now."
More silence.
Then—
"WHAT?!"
Vanessa nearly dropped her wine.
Magna's jaw hit the floor.
Charmy choked on her food.
Finral nearly teleported himself out of existence.
Mimosa looked like she was about to faint.
Nozel—who had been secretly listening from a distance—twitched.
Klaus removed his glasses, wiped them, put them back on. "So you're telling me… you've been dating this entire time? And you just—what, assumed we all knew?"
Asta laughed. "Yeah? I mean, we never hid anything."
Noelle shrugged. "It's not our fault you're all dense."
"Dense?!" Finral repeated. "You two acted like best friends!"
Yuno pinched the bridge of his nose. "No, they acted like a couple. We just never realized."
"Wait, wait, wait," Zora said, squinting. "So all those times you guys were draping clothes over each other, sharing food, and standing way too close—"
"—was just normal to us," Asta finished.
Vanessa let out a hysterical laugh. "Oh my god. We thought we were catching you in some big secret, and you two were just being yourselves?!"
Asta grinned. "Pretty much."
Noelle smirked. "I can't believe you all are this dumb."
More silence.
Then—
"WE'RE THE IDIOTS?!"
The entire room exploded into chaos.
Finral dramatically fell onto a couch. "All that investigation—for nothing!"
Luck clutched his stomach from laughing too hard.
Mimosa buried her face in her hands. "I feel so stupid."
Yuno sighed heavily.
Klaus looked like he was having a mild existential crisis.
Nozel, from his hidden corner, clenched his fist in pure suffering.
Asta and Noelle?
They just sat there, watching their friends spiral into the realization that they had outed themselves as complete morons.
It was, frankly, hilarious.
Noelle leaned toward Asta, voice low and amused. "Should we tell them how long we've been kissing in front of them too?"
Asta chuckled. "Nah, let's see how long it takes them to figure that one out on their own."
And with that, they casually walked away—leaving behind a room full of very embarrassed, very dumb, but very defeated spies.
—
When Yami found out about his squad's 'discovery,' he looked at them like they were idiots.
"Seriously? You morons just realized? Honestly, how dense can you be?"
Somehow, Yami's words made their way to one Charlotte Roselei's ears—and she nearly screamed.
With her face darkened in frustration and fury, she grabbed her whip and marched straight toward the Bulls' base.