2014
From Felix's perspective
With horror in my eyes, I look at Lucas, who is my cousin. For as long as I can remember, I've called him big brother, because we've been raised together since we were kids.
I'm not very knowledgeable about what prompted the mother to take care of her nephew. In the past, she only mentioned to me that Lucas' father has a difficult situation and is unable to take care of his child as a single father. Apparently he lives in New York, but I have never seen him in person.
We are very close to each other like siblings. One can't imagine life without the other. Lucas is a year older than me and very confident. He is the one who stands up for me every time. He has a commanding character and, despite his slim figure, sows fear among his peers. In fact, I'm the only one who knows my brother's true face, because he can mask himself quite well from his parents.
His every transgression is rebuked because Lucas manipulates me, claiming that if the truth comes out, his parents will throw him out of the house because he is not their real son.
I'm afraid of it, I love my brother and I take all the responsibility every time.
And so it is this time, when he douses the bright sofa with ink. If it were an accident, I wouldn't hold it against him, but he did it on purpose because a silly idea came into his head to tease me.
- Felix, for God's sake, how old are you! - Mother yells out, looking at me with fury in her eyes. - Do you know how much that new couch cost us!
I stand in front of my parents with my head lowered, strenuously holding back the crying inside me.
- I'm sorry," I say indistinctly.
- What do I get out of your apologies? This is another time there are problems with you! Not a day goes by that I'm not calm! Take an example from your older brother and start being responsible!
Standing at the back, Lucas pretends to be innocent while laughing in his soul.
- It was an accident, I would rather not damage the couch.
- Sometimes I wonder how I could have given birth to such a fat and stupid child. You are hopeless," says the mother, and then I can't stand it and burst out crying. I cover my face with my hands, and my father looks at his wife with disbelief in his eyes.
- Are you too cruel?
One look is enough to make a man shut his mouth. In this house, he has no say. He is only there to make money.
Lucas comes up to me and puts his hands on my shoulders.
- Auntie, you don't even know how hurtful those words are. Felix suffers when you address him that way.
- So next time, stop him from stupid ideas if you care about him so much! - she yells, then turns on her heel and heads up the stairs to the second floor. Father follows her like an obedient dog.
I turn to face my brother and look at him with weeping eyes.
- Please don't do any more foolishness. My mother hates me.
- Cool, I will be polite," he replies, patting me on the shoulder. - You have already suffered enough because of me.
*
Present
From Selena's perspective
I scream as two men take me under their arms and forcibly carry me to the second floor of the house. Held by other security guards, Felix is unable to do anything to help me.
I am terrified when I am thrown into Lucas' office. With frightened eyes, I sweep the entire room, which is brown and beige. A young man sits at a desk, fiddling with a pen in his hand.
- Mouse, you are starting to irritate me. You were able to live without my little brother for so many years, after you locked him up in a mental hospital and completely pounced on him, and now you pretend to be a good girl in front of him.
- I did not piss him off, I wanted good for him. I believed that proper treatment and the absence of my visits would help him recover. I was right, he recovered, and now you are making Felix paranoid again. I have no doubt that in addition to his mother, you were also the main reason for his illness.
Lucas smiles under his breath.
- As we blame others, consider yourself too, mouse.
- As a child, he began to adore me because I was the only person who took his side. I am not the cause of his illness, your family is. Felix saw in me a real feeling of caring, that's why he cared so much about me. He wanted me close to him because I was the only good person in his life. All the rest are scumbags, especially you and his mother. You should not reappear in his life. - I try to sound tough, but the trembling voice betrays that I am afraid of him.
- Me and Felix are a family. Now we only have each other. I am the only person who can provide him with a stable life. You, on the other hand, will pull him down once again. You are his poison.
- You are also his poison. He is afraid of you.
Lucas raises an eyebrow. He brings his hands together on the desk top and rests his chin on them. He watches me intently as I sit on the floor like a frightened puppy.
- You will not leave this place until you end the relationship with my brother.
- Why do you care so much if you yourself are the cause of his mental disorder? In this case, you should also stay away from him!
- I will not allow you to be together again.
- That's your bad luck, because all my life I was the only girl he loved! It seems to me that in no way will you be able to change his feelings. You are not entitled to decide who he can associate with. It's none of your business!
- Mine," he replies firmly, and I crinkle my eyebrows. - Because fourteen years ago, on the same day that you interested my brother, you also caught my eye, mouse.
2014
From Lucas' perspective
I'm sitting in the stands, watching my younger, hopeless brother, who lets himself be pushed around. It seems to me that this kid will never become assertive. He is incapable of defending himself. He behaves pathetically and counts on my help every time.
I see Felix being pushed and challenged by a peer. I'm about to get up from my seat and make order with these brats, but I'm bailed out by a younger girl who stands up for my brother.
It's an interesting show. The little one is brave and quite funny. She makes a smile appear on my face.
- It was an exception that I helped you. Work on being assertive. - She turns her back on Felix and walks away. However, she stops mid-step when she hears a thank you from his lips.
- Fascinating... - I say under my breath.
The next day I spot her sitting alone in the library. I take advantage of this and squat down next to her. She lifts her face from above the book and looks at me with curious eyes.
- Shouldn't middle school students spend time with their friends? - she asks boldly.
- The interesting thing is, how do you know I'm a middle schooler?
- I shot because you look much older than me.
- Your words make me feel like a grandfather, and I'm only thirteen.
- Only? I think already... then I can say that I'm only ten years old. - She snorts under her breath, and I smile broadly.
This little one interests me more and more. I want to make friends with her.
- What are you learning from? Maybe as an older colleague I can help you as a tutor?
She looks at me with pity in her eyes.
- I think you are on the verge of desperation to meet me. I don't hang out with middle school kids. Besides. I'm good at studying. - She gets up from the bench and takes all the books from the countertop. Before she leaves, she adds - Besides.... I only hang out with people who have a friendly expression. You look mean.
I laugh out loud, but she pays no attention. She leaves the library without even glancing at me for a split second.
- She is great.
Sitting at home in the afternoon, I listen to my brother praise the fourth-grade girl who stood up for him. He tells me how wonderful she is, that she wasn't afraid to talk back to the older boys and with a sincere heart defended him against them. He says he would love to be friends with her, but lacks the courage because of his looks and hopelessness.
I wrinkle my nose, displeased that Felix is talking about the same girl who impressed me with her confidence.
- The only thing left for you is to watch her from hiding. Don't delude yourself that if she defended you, she will want to deal with you. She did it, sympathizing. You would have to lose weight and change your character first. Now she won't be interested if you want to be her friend. You are an outcast. Without me, you would have died in this school," I claim, pouting at him, as the smile automatically comes off his face. He looks nailed down.
- I think you're right, Lucas. Just because she stood up for me doesn't mean she will befriend me. I'm so hopeless that I don't deserve friends.
I roll my eyes.
- So do something about it. Get a grip and change something about yourself. Feeling sorry for yourself won't help you in any way.
*
Present
From Selena's perspective
My voice is stuck in my throat. I can't get the words out. I just stare at Lucas with wide-open eyes while he continues to play with the pen between his fingers.
- It's sad that you forgot about me, even though I often entered into conversation with you. I really liked you then, Selena. I was impressed by your character, but now.... I feel disappointed because you are like a scared mouse.
- You... you were there, you saw what happened," I say in a stifled voice.
Lucas curls his lips in a slight smile.
- Yes, and yet you didn't thank me. If I hadn't shown up in art class then, who knows what more might have happened? - he asks, swiping me with his eyes. - I felt like killing him, seeing him put his hands on a little girl where he shouldn't. A sleazy old grandfather....
I close my eyelids as those awful memories come back to me.
- Does Felix know about what terrible thing happened to you in elementary school? Why did you disappear from school after that day? Am I the only one who knows your dark secret? - asks Lucas with curiosity in his voice.
A feeling of anxiety arises. I nervously swallow my saliva, then lift my face and look into his eyes.
- Please... don't tell him about it, ever. It's a past I left behind. I don't want him to know about it.
- It's sad, Selena," he says, rising from his swivel chair. - Do you know why? - He asks, turning toward me. He crouches in front of me, swiping me with his eyes. - Because it seems to me that being in a relationship for so many years, loving each other so much, there should be no secrets between you, and yet you never told him about what happened to you.
- Promise me that you will never tell him," I say in a pleading voice.
- So you promise me that you will never return to him....