Lucas really can't stand me. Ever since I came back to his house with my stuff, he's been avoiding me like a fire. It's late in the evening, and I haven't seen him since breakfast.
I want to have a serious conversation with him, ask him about many things, right now, when Felix is already asleep in his room. I guess that he might be at his place, but I'm afraid to knock on that door. Furthermore, I don't mean to upset him more with my presence.
With caring eyes I watch the face of the sleeping Felix, gently stroking his hair. My heart aches when I think about what he must be going through, how sad and without the will to live, that even medication can no longer help him.
I look back toward the door when someone swings it open and peeks inside. I hastily jump up from my seat when I notice that it is Lucas.
- Wait, please," I say in a whisper. I can see by the expression on his face that he is not satisfied.
- What do you want? After all, I told you it's best if we don't draw attention to ourselves," he says as I join him in the corridor and close the door behind me.
- OK, I understand that you can't stand me, but let's talk seriously, now, if only for the last time.
He mirrors me with his eyes for a moment, then sighs.
- What do you want to know?
- Why did you want me to stay with you? Why did you change your mind so suddenly, when until now, you claimed that I was Felix's poison and insisted that I should stay away from him?
Lucas crosses his arms over his chest and looks at me with serious eyes.
- You are still Felix's poison and I haven't changed my mind, but I got scared when I realized that my brother wanted to kill himself. I gave you a chance to stay here because he blackmailed me that without you by his side, he would die. He missed you very much and wanted you to be with him in a safe place, in this house.
- So you're hoping my presence will restore his will to live? - I furrow my eyebrows, however, still not understanding something. - When you took him away from me, he said he could no longer be happy with me.
- He lied, he just wanted to protect you from me. He was without medication, he felt unsafe, every day in hiding, made him panic more and more, that's why he gave up," declares Lucas. - Here he feels safe, with you by his side and me accepting it. He's calm, and I believe this will help him, because if it doesn't, I'll have to take him to a locked ward, just like you did a few years ago. You are the last resort.
- Can't they change his medication?
- The psychiatrist made it clear to me that if the medications no longer help and his condition worsens significantly then the only thing left is a locked ward.
- Why is his disease so advanced? He was treated, and yet he got worse again.... I realize it's my fault, because I once again appeared in his life, you don't have to tell me that, but still, why can't he get out of it? Why does he now look like he is severely depressed? - I ask in a worried voice.
- It's a genetic disease. Our grandfather, our mother's father, also had a mental illness. There was no one to help him, so he died at a fairly young age. He committed suicide.
I put my hands to my lips, clearly shocked by his confession. Tears appear in my eyes.
- I will do everything to help him, I swear. I really care about him a lot.
- I know, I see it, but it still does not change the fact that I do not like your presence," Lucas replies to me. - If that's all, I'm going to go to my place. You should lie down too, since Felix has fallen asleep.
- There is one more question I want to ask you. A rather unusual one, related to the past. - I don't know if I'm doing the right thing, but if I don't now, I'll never know, as long as he answers me, of course. - Then, when the art teacher.... - I pause at this point and grunt. - Why did you help me when you yourself raped a girl at the age of sixteen?
Lucas crinkles his eyebrows and looks at me with angry eyes.
- What are you talking about? I have never raped anyone, are you crazy! - shouts at me in a hushed voice. - And you should be grateful to me that I helped you then. Don't ever ask me stupid questions again, because you are annoying. I really can't stand you," he claims, heading toward his room. He shakes his head, expressing frustration.
- Then I'll ask you one more annoying question.... why did you order Sebastian to get close to Eve? You gave him no choice, ordering him to break up the family. You are awful if you take revenge on people who are close to me.
The man is standing in front of the door, his back turned to me.
- If she wasn't easy prey, she wouldn't have been fooled by him, would she? - he asks me a question, putting his hand on the doorknob. - She has herself to blame and her guy should see through it. Don't defend her just because she is your friend. - After these words, he enters his room.
I hate him for implicating innocent people in this case, but in part, however, he is right. Eve — my best friend, showed herself from the worst side. Although she insists that she is doing nothing wrong, I can't forgive her for deceiving Mike and putting her child in harm's way.
*
It hurts my heart to think about my friend and Nana. At this point, I feel like pulling out all of Eve's hair. I can't stop thinking about what she is doing. Add to that the whole situation with Felix, who is in a terrible mental state, and I don't know what I can do to help him anymore.
I care about him so much, I want him to recover and finally feel how beautiful life can be without illness....
Tears stream down my cheeks as I pull out my phone and, despite the late hour, dial Eve's number.
- Are you crazy? I'm already asleep," she says in a sleepy voice.
- You can see my madness if you don't swear to me now that you won't meet Sebastian again.
The blonde girl curses something under her breath, and I hear her clumsily climb off the bed. She closes the door behind her, walking away from the bedroom.
- You're lucky Mike is already asleep and didn't hear what you said.
- And very well, if he heard! - I tear into the earpiece. - I'm serious, Eve. If you don't swear to me now that you will break contact with Sebastian, I will call Mike and tell him the whole truth. Maybe I'm acting like a bitch, even though I'm your best friend, but at this point you're hurting my friend and the child I love like my own.
- I promise not to see him again. That night he told me the entire truth, that he did it on Lucas' orders and that he never really liked me when we were teenagers. You were the one he was infatuated with. - Eve laughs artificially, and I can hear how sad her voice is. - He explained that I'm different now, that I've really gained his affection, and he likes to spend time with me, but his chance has passed because I have someone and a child. - A stone falls from my heart. - I think that moment made me see through. I am an idiot, you were right, Selena. Having a wonderful guy by my side, who accepted me as I am from the beginning, and more importantly, having a child with him, I was shining my eyes for a bastard who didn't even like me. I should fry in hell.
- I'm glad you didn't succumb to temptation and at the right time you saw through it. This will remain between us.
- I'm sorry, Selena. You are a great friend, and you did all this for the sake of me and my family. - I can hear her voice becoming weepy.
Eve rarely sheds tears. She must be really sorrowful for that to happen.
- I felt like stabbing you with a sour apple, but I'm glad you realized your mistake. You should appreciate your guy and the love he gives you. You don't know the date or the hour when something will happen, also cherish every moment by his side.
- Why are you talking so strangely? Has something happened?
I take a deep breath, for a moment wondering if I want to say it out loud, but I finally have to get the emotion out of me.
- Felix tried to commit suicide. I am at Lucas' residence. I'm temporarily living here because he says I'm Felix's last resort.
- Oh mother, however, it is so bad with him, as this woman stated! He really needs help, and it seems to me that he should be under the care of doctors. You and the madman, you can't do anything on your own!
- Eve, what woman are you still talking about? To whom did Mike give the phone number of his grandparents' house to warn me?
- Selena... it may come as a strong shock to you when I tell you this. You will finally realize how seriously ill Felix is. He creates images in his head that seem real to him. He believes it.
- What are you talking about? You're starting to scare me, Eve.
I nervously bite my finger, with frightened eyes looking at the wall in front of me.
- Mike met Felix's mother. His parents are alive, Selena. They were in Canada until now. He did not kill them. Such a situation, never happened," she says, and I feel the blood drain from my face. - It was his mother who called you in the middle of the night to warn you. I think Lucas knows this very well. You should talk to him.
I am in such shock that I hang up without saying goodbye at all. With my eyes wide open, I stare at the wall in front of me, feeling as if I'm in some kind of amok.
Felix didn't kill anyone. His parents are alive. These are all images he has created in his head, which he stubbornly still believes.
I don't know which is worse...