-Two years later-
The last year of being a high school girl, the last year of walking to the hallway to my locker and being watched by a hundred people behind, sneaking to see what's inside. And the last year of being bored and unsatisfied with a young girl's life.
"Hey, girl…" Irin's high-pitched voice comes from behind me. "You look cute again today." She puts her hand on my waist and leans her face on my shoulder.
Her height is slightly taller than mine. Her dirty blonde hair is a bit pink, like a strawberry that faded on the beige canvas. This contrasts with my dark blue cardigan, which perfectly covers my cream shirt and body. She pulls me in closer and looks up at me. "You got thinner," she tells me with a fuzzy face.
"Have you lost weight? Have you eaten well, Zia?" She's concerned. "Of course," I answer.
"Don't tell me you put yourself in books again and forget to eat." She pulls away her face to get back to the proper posture. "I eat," I answer.
Irin grabs my waist with both her hands and turns my body to face her. She uses her hands to feel my stomach area in the middle of the hallway and let people watch our show for free. I stare at her with a little smile on my face.
"Take your time, Irin. Everybody's watching," I tease her. "You've been working out?" she asks with sparkling hazel eyes. She's sure a strawberry; her eyes are the little leaves on top of it.
Suddenly, a group of polo teams come our way. "Oh, Letizia, you deny all the men because you're into girls?...you should have said that before, hehe." The bright blonde hair with a sneaky face and a sneaky smile like how he plays in the field, sneaky behind the component and hits the stick to another horse, shame.
I turn my face to him, and the gaze of the man beside him is more intense than that of the sneaky sunshine boy here. "Manners, Vik." He says. The handsome, charming leader of the polo team speaks up with a locked-on gaze at me.
"Why Vik? You're jealous?" Irin teases him.
"Heh, I don't have to be jealous, right?" Vik answers and gives me dirty looks. He tries to keep the professional, high-status schoolboy characteristic on him, but it doesn't work. It has never worked since he walked in here and opened his dirty, rich mouth.
"Felicia will kick your balls before the game, Vik," I reply, and Irin smiles proudly.
"Oohh." And the sound of the team members behind them raising their voices like a stray dog on the street, except the leader, the ginger, copper hair with bright green eyes.
"Oh my my, now you're the one who is jealous." As he approaches me closer, Vik talks with a mischievous sound and a proud face. "What an honor the ice princess talks to me this blessed morning." His face tilts down, almost touched.
"Hey." Irin is about to push Vik
"Stop." The team leader grabs his arm firmly and drags him back. "Sorry, Captain, hehe." Vik.
I keep my eyes as calm as possible and turn my back to them. Irin follows me, and we walk to our class together. I can tell they're gossiping behind me like they are watching my khaki skirt, bouncing and waiting to see my butt out. But I don't give a damn.
Only a few people on the polo team feel comfortable interacting with me, such as Vik and the leader of the team, Tytas. They seem to feel relaxed, but I don't. It's more like I'm used to it with Vik teasing and Tytas's occasional interaction. But to talk and chat comfortably with each other about how the day's been, we barely touched that word. Felicia would lose her mind if they got close to me, especially Vik, her boyfriend. I didn't come to her party two years ago, and she thought I had unfriended her or didn't want to join the same hierarchy. For others, they just follow the alphas, the reaction, and the manners. When they are alone or see me, they're speechless; the eyes aren't.
I sit on my desk near the window, and Irin's desk is beside mine.
"You get bolder and bolder each year, Zia," Irin speaks up proudly, like a mother proud of her daughter. I say nothing and take out my notebook.
"Hey, tell me something." She slides her chair closer to me. "What?" I ask.
"Why don't you go on a date with him?" Irin asks with wandering eyes. "What?" I ask with a different sound from before while looking at her.
"I mean Mr. Tytas, not a bastard Vik." She explains. I turn my face back. "He doesn't ask me out," I say.
She opens her eyes wider. "Seriously? People know the entire school that he's into you, but he hasn't asked you yet?"
I sigh and look at the whiteboard in front of the class.
"People get it wrong," I say.
"Come on, I know. His team knows. The mother fucking Vik knows. I bet. Even the football team knows." She keeps mumbling, and I tilt my head to her.
"How come you know all this?" I ask while tucking my eyebrows with a little teasing smile.
"James, the football player. He told me." She says. I turn my eyes back to my notebook. "Holland wants your contact, but he's scared of Tytas." She continues.
I glance at the teacher, who enters the classroom and heads to his desk.
"Who is Holland?" I ask while taking out the pen. "James's friend," Irin answers.
"Back to your seat, everyone." The teacher announces.
"We're not done, Zia." Irin threatens me with a serious face. I chuckle a little.
I am surprised that everyone knows me, perhaps only my name. I've always been the quiet one since the first year, more observing and not engaging with anything or anyone unless necessary. I'm reserved but not shy. I'm not afraid to speak, but I behave reasonably. It is causing me to rebel as a good student. After all, I listen well, study hard, and reply to the correct answer when the teachers ask, causing the rumor that I am the teacher's pet because I don't mind doing them a favor. I don't offer any teachers a hand; most likely, the teachers are the ones who approach. But it has been the topic for the audience to discuss. I wouldn't interfere.
Well, on the other hand, come to think about it, perhaps because of the good grades, being the teacher's pets, ignoring others' attention, going to a party once in a while, randomly attending the school team, and talking back to scumbags without fear.
I might be the talk of the town because of their own perception of me by my actions, and I don't give a damn about it anyway.
But I admit that my fiery mouth was always concealed before, and it started to light up and blow out carelessly without pleasing others' feelings two years ago.
"Letizia." English teacher, the homeroom teacher calls me.
"Yes?" I reply.
"After class, meet the counselor, alright?" He tells me with a smile.
"Yes."
It's my queue to discuss my grades, classes, and plans for college. Irin pouts her lips to me and puts the book inside her side bag. The sound of the chairs people are dragging out hurts my ears. I'm not rushing to pack my stuff, but not Irin, who is already standing waiting for me.
"See you after school then?" Irin asks. I look at her without saying anything. "Why? Do you have other plans?"
"I have to go to the garage," I respond.
"For what?" Her eyes look at me with curiosity.
"I have to go check my father's car." I get up, and she follows me out of the classroom.
"Why do you still…" She holds her tongue. "Let me take you there. Meet me at the yard after
school."
"Thank you," I tell her and hug her while we walk in the hall.
Only Irin and I can show this side to her. I'm secretly a clingy person and love physical touch, but—only but with someone I love. Then, we see Fecilia, with long blonde curled hair, her baby pink top, and tight jeans. Don't let the faded jeans fool you; they cost more than three vending machines combined. She looks at me before I notice her. She glances at me as we walk past each other without saying anything, and Irin's glare is more than just a glance.
"Some people must tell her about this morning," Irin speaks softly.
Felicia is a pretty scary person. She knows what she wants, and she has to have it. Her pitchy voice screams so loud when something bothers her, or something's not working out in her way. She walks and talks like she owns the place wherever she goes. But I wonder why she doesn't manage to tame Vik in her palms like others. I bet she can do it; she acts like a confident queen, as she believes. I also believe in her potential to tame someone and follow her tail. Only Irin and I didn't want to be in her private society, and she let me go because it was too hard to put the leash on my neck so many times. She must have seen me as a nice, well-behaved girlie who always listened and did anything people said and who had the same status as her, but after she knew who I actually was, she gave up. Vicious words, bullying behavior, and the rumors and gossip that she had tried didn't hurt me at all. Eventually, she backed down on her own and minded her business instead of keeping me intrigued.
"As always," I say back with a little smile in the corner. "I'll text you."
Irin slaps me on the butt lightly with a sneaky smile and leaves me in front of the counselor's room.
Thug-Thug.
I knock. "Come in." And the sound of the counselor rises up behind the door immediately like she's waiting for me.
"Good morning." I greet her.
"Good morning, Miss Serafinne. I've been waiting for you. Please sit down, " she says with a genuine smile.
I glance at the name sign, Serena Quinn. What a beautiful given name and family name. It suits her very well. Miss Serena Quinn is not a teacher here. The headmaster and other teachers don't perceive her as a teacher since her job is to guide students about their futures, typical student-teenage life advice, and also for troubled kids. The headmaster tries to normalize giving the consult session into daily life, not just for groups of kids who need therapy but are scared to do it outside the area or for someone fucked up their lives or even their own. But for me, I would rather see a therapist outside than here; it seems a comfort zone for us, but it's not that safe. It is not a good idea to open our mouths and spread out everything and our secrets, especially when people already know each other, their backgrounds, and the connection from family to family. I didn't say I don't trust Miss Quinn, but I don't trust the school walls.
"You know why we're here, right?" She asks.
"Yes," I answer shortly.
She turns the paper files page by page. I bet it's my files.
"Your grades are looking amazing as always. Straight A all year round. Have you considered getting a bit of B? Hahaha." She tries to make a joke.
I smile at her.
"And I heard from your homeroom teacher. You want to get into Harvard?" She glances at me while holding the page
I didn't say I wanted to, but it's the best choice. And then I smile instead of answering again.
"Do you have any backup?" I look at her blankly. "I didn't mean it in a bad way, Miss Serafinne. I want you to have at least three options to explore. If you really intend to get into Harvard, you can put it on the first top choice and let others be second and third." She looks at me with a smile. "So you have any other choice in mind?"
I shake my head.
"Then, Can I ask you? Which major are you interested in studying?"
"Science…Biology, Human Physiology, Meds, Surgery." I list the names. "I would like to be a surgeon," I add.
"I see. Well, Stanford…can be one of the choices…how about Oxford?" She looks at me slightly.
"In the UK?" I ask.
"Yes, Your mother graduated from Oxford, didn't she?" She asks while looking at the page.
I slowly lean on the backrest and glare at the paper in her hands. Well, of course, everything is on the record. The headmaster knows, a couple of teachers know, and Miss Quinn knows. And people will know eventually.
But, it's not a bad idea to leave this place—or this country.
Miss Quinn starts to feel my vibes, so she closes the files and puts them on her desk.
"I apologize for mentioning Mrs. Serafinne. I think Oxford might also be the best choice since your grades are shooting out of the chart. You can maintain the grades until you graduate and add some extra activities to support…Grades aren't the only thing, Miss Serafinne. The activities and some volunteering, like extra classes and outside activities, can complement your files. They will benefit you very well."
I nod.
"The other choices… you can take your time to think about it." She smiles. "And Have you discussed the future plan with your father?"
"No," I answer honestly. "Is there anything else, Miss Quinn?" I ask.
"No, no. You can go…Have a nice day." She smiles slowly. "You too, Miss," I respond and leave the room.
I correctly put my side bag over my shoulder, walking again into the hall. I take out my phone and swipe up to see the message from my father. He read my texts but hasn't answered for a couple of days. I'm about to type and send another one. I halt, bite my bottom lip, sigh the air out, and then put it back in my bag.