It was pure darkness; his body was part of the void itself—pure consciousness, nothing less, nothing more. He had no organs to feel or sense anything.
"So this is what happens when you die," he thought, his remaining consciousness.
Then, a dim orange light pierced through his closed eyelids, and warmth spread through his body. Slowly, his senses returned. When he opened his eyes, he found himself lying in a grand room—a massive space adorned with antiques, elegant paintings, and flickering candlelight as the only source of illumination.
Beside him, another child lay sleeping peacefully.
"Oh, shit. Whose kid is this?" He frowned. "Wait… whose body is this?"
His mind was foggy. He could recall glimpses of his past life—the distant memory of an oncoming truck, the impact, the pain… and then nothing.
Before he could process it, the door creaked open. A maid entered, followed by a noblewoman with golden hair and a dignified aura.
He tried to speak—to ask what was happening—but the moment he opened his mouth…
"Guuuuguuuugaaaagaaaa!"
The incomprehensible nonsense that escaped his lips made his soul shrivel in secondhand embarrassment.
The maid and noblewoman stared. The noblewoman slowly blinked.
"…Julia, did that thing just talk?"
The maid, Julia, cleared her throat. "Well, ma'am… it certainly tried."
Realization struck. He was a baby. A full-blown, drooling, diaper-wearing infant.
"NOOOOOOOO—!" Or at least, that's what he tried to scream. What came out instead was an ear-piercing wail.
The child beside him also woke from its deep slumber, startled by the sudden noise. It took one look at him and, as if in solidarity, began crying just as loudly.
"Oh, for f*ck sake—why can't I stop?!" he thought, mortified.
He tried, he really did. But his tiny lungs had a mind of their own. And just as he managed to pause for a brief second, he felt warmth spreading beneath him.
He had just peed himself.
And, with that realization, the crying resumed.
The maid, Julia, hesitated before speaking. "What should we do with this child, ma'am?"
The noblewoman, Aurelia, furrowed her brows. "Our House of Elowen can't just adopt a random child left outside our mansion, you know."
She sighed, glancing at the crying infant. "Perhaps someone abandoned him here after losing everything in the earthquake yesterday."
Julia nodded in agreement. "That does seem likely, ma'am. So… what do we do with him?"
Aurelia remained silent for a moment before turning to Julia. "I have a request for you. Can you please do it for me?" Her eyes shimmered with hope.
Julia hesitated but ultimately nodded. "Of course, my lady."
With that, the decision was made.
The child—who had no idea what was happening—was taken to the Duke's study to be introduced to the household and given a name.
Duke, Servants, butlers, and knights gathered in the grand hall as Julia recounted how they found the child.
Aurelia stepped forward, holding the baby. "We shall give him a name. Does anyone have suggestions?"
A butler, adjusting his monocle, raised his hand. "I have a fitting name, my lady—Walter Wigglebottom!"
The baby frowned. His tiny face scrunched up in sheer disgust.
A messenger, who had arrived with an urgent letter, decided to chime in.
"Then how about… Cecil Snail?"
"WHAT KIND OF SICK MINDS ARE THESE?!" the baby thought, horror creeping up his tiny body.
The Duke, Lucian, finally had enough. His face twitched as he shouted,
"Give him a name, not a title of shame!"
For the first time, the baby looked at him with admiration.
Lucian smirked, crossing his arms confidently. "I've got it! How about… Bartholomew Butterfingers?"
The baby nearly pooped himself.
It continued. For three agonizing hours.
Young maids felt they had aged into crones. Butlers began questioning their life choices. Some considered early retirement.
Finally, out of sheer exhaustion, they settled on a name. Not because it was good, but because they wanted to move on before they died of old age.
Agnes Vegsel.
The baby sighed internally. "At least it's better than Willie Dillie."
Duke Lucian took Agnes in his arms and stared straight into his eyes.
Agnes, though still a baby, felt uncomfortable.
The room fell silent.
Lucian's expression was unreadable as his gaze deepened. He was analyzing his body constitution.
The baby gulped—or would have, if his body allowed him to.
Then, just as Lucian was about to finish his examination.
Agnes felt uncomfortable; therefore, he tried to break the ice.....
Agnes pooped.
A deathly silence descended upon the room.
Then—chaos.
Servants fled for their lives. Butlers collapsed from the sheer force of the stench. Some prayed to the gods for deliverance.
Julia, the only one brave enough, grabbed Agnes and rushed him to the bath.
Days later, the mansion hosted a grand banquet.
Noble families, elders from magic sects, martial arts sects, and cultivation sects all gathered to celebrate the naming of the Duke's daughter.
Agnes, held by Julia, watched as guests greeted Duke Lucian and Aurelia.
His gaze landed on the other baby—the one he had seen when he reincarnated.
"So that's the Duke's daughter," he thought.
People whispered about the recent earthquake.
However, the peace was shattered when Agnes felt hunger creeping in.
His solution?
Crying.
The wailing shook the hall.
Guests covered their ears, wincing in pain.
"Who is this ugly creature?!" one noble gasped.
"Is he a goblin hybrid?!" another muttered.
"Someone, please, put him back where he came from!"
Julia, acting swiftly, stuffed a bottle into Agnes's mouth.
As he drank, he thought, "Thank you, Julia. You are my one true savior."
Meanwhile, the sect elders observed the scene.
A scholar from the Circle of Magic Sect frowned. "What is this disturbance about?"
An elderly martial artist from the Empty Fist Sect scoffed. "Probably just a hungry child."
However, when their eyes fell upon Agnes, their expressions changed.
Their faces drained of color.
Some broke into a cold sweat.
Some shook visibly.
Because they had seen something unbelievable.
They had witnessed his birth.
The murmurs began.
"Isn't this the same entity…?"
"Why is he here…?"
"Wasn't he supposed to be at the Peak of Ananta…?" (Endless peak)
Fushhh! FushhhhhhFush???? FUshhhh....
Duke Lucian, sensing the tension, stepped forward. "Honored guests, has someone disrespected you?"
A sect leader from Jade Cloud Cultivation Sect shook his head. "No, Duke Lucian. We simply wish to know more about the child."
They all turned to him.
"Hand the child over to us."
Lucian's eyes narrowed. A deep curiosity burned within him.
He looked at Agnes once more, trying to analyze him.
Just then, a Grandmaster Cultivator stepped in, his voice calm but firm.
"I would prefer you not to look."