Megan's POV
Something moved in my stomach. I think it is the first time our baby is moving as well. Or might be wind. How long does a foetus take to move? Either way- Alpha Soren- whatever his middle name is, if he has one- Aaberg is going to be a father.
Baby Aaberg. I sounded it out in my head. Hmm.
Currently, we are at the riverbed, Jax and I, but far from the usual crowded or overpopulated areas of the pack. The thick trees around us would even conceal us from nearby eyes even if we were spotted. And the plants surrounding us are Akon- Greek and when translated means dart. The dart plant or monkshood, name comes from the sepal, the outer part of the flower, that covers the bud as it develops and supports the petals. The sepal resembles the cowl that monks used to wear. But it is more commonly known by most as 'wolfsbane'.
Rumoured to be so powerful that even the Gods used it. Athena used it to turn Arachne into a spider. Hecate is said to have discovered the poison and used it to k*ll her father. Roman emperor, Claudius, is rumoured to have been poisoned by his wife, Agrippina.
Even a medical doctor, George Henry Lamson was convicted of m*rdering his brother-in-law, with the plant. See, it takes minutes to hours, to be certified d*ad, after being exposed to this plant and no one has ever survived.
Meaning, nobody ventures here in these parts much.
Over the past weeks, my mind has been a whirlwind of memories over words. While I wanted the alpha like no other- I never laughed once with him. Sure, I blushed like hell on fire but no laughter. He made my inside feel like molten lava. But this? This cannot be love. This must be what they refer to as lust.
Have I been lusting after our alpha- like the rest of the female pack in heat? Am I in heat, or was that which I experienced with the alpha, is heat? Hmm, I do recall wolves do go into some sort of mating zone where they cannot control themselves or who they are with.
Breaking into my thoughts, Jax releases my hand and carries his hands to his mouth. "I don't understand why he has the pack thinking he's beating you," my friend says to me as he bites his nails- just as I had done on my way over, to meet him here.
Me chewing of mine because I have been thinking about what he'd said to me some days ago- I have no nails remaining to chew off. My near-chronic and compulsive behaviour caused my cuticles to bleed. About being certain I was pregnant because he could not smell the baby. He said he smelled his half-brother when his mother was carrying him in her tummy.
Truthfully, neither I nor Red could answer that. But it did have me sniffing the air around two pregnant females when I spotted them at the supermarket and – yeah, I could smell the jelly in the tummy. One was buying alcohol, so I doubt the human even knew she was preggers. Jax and I went grocery shopping outside of our pack since he figured I would be more comfortable outside than in- which is weird because it is where my kind is. My dwelling is not a place I call home...
Stretching my skinny frame, I yawn as I roll to the edge of the blanket we were on, flicking off a tiny green grasshopper. Not answering Jax because we both know the alpha and beta can be cruel and the pack thinking he is beating me is acceptable in my eyes because it could be worse- I could be in one of the cages behind the packhouse!
For a few minutes, Jax is deep in his own thoughts while I admire the wildlife. The forest noises. The fresh clean air. Far from wolf fur and all that unhappiness. Here, I can forget myself for a bit, enjoying all around me, the thick branches and leaves above, shading me from the harsh rays of the sun.
Cutting into my thoughts Jax lets me know where his thinking is. "But I don't get it. I mean omegas feel each other when they are mated." He has been on repeat with these statements and questions. They do not irritate me however because I myself am asking too. And it does sound as if he is calling me a liar- but I never said I was the alpha's mate, did I? Nope, I said, the alpha said I was.
But all Jax's words did was give me hope that I could be accepted into the pack and then it dawned on me that I am an adult in my twenties and not some young teen who would eventually gain strength and my spirits become deflated.
Jax means that even if my wolf is weak, or even if I did not have a wolf, a hybrid would sense we were mates. Hybrids are what we are- part human, part wolf. What he means is the possibility of our alpha being my mate could be real; except it could not be because my wolf exists, and I am not a human either. Besides, even if a mate is human- they feel it too, obviously they don't understand it, but they do feel the pull and cannot resist it. They deem it as a deep physical attraction instead.
"I think I agree with Red," my best friend says sorrowfully, taking my hands into his, and pulling me to sit upright as the winds from the open air, blow our loose hair about. He is seated opposite me and both his hands are now on his navy-blue joggers, which cover his muscular thick thighs. His elbows are out while he leans back almost lazily against a sturdy trunk.
"No. I am not one hundred per cent certain he is my mate; it is just what he said to me. Red thinks it's a lie he makes up to sleep with-" I clear my throat, "-everyone."
Jax furrows and I could tell he is addressing his wolf. Leaning closer to me, worrying his bottom lip with his even teeth, while I feast on his cleft chin. "Red sounds smart."
My wolf blushes with Jax's words about her and we all ignore Blue.
"I think if you are mates, he would have rejected you by now, because of your rank- so I hate to admit it but Blue might be right as well. Agreed he needs to work on his people skills, but you are talking about his alpha here and he is loyal.
All wolves are fiercely loyal to their alphas, Luna-" he pauses waiting for me to react and my face becomes withdrawn. One because I do not wish to be luna and two, he just reminded me of Beth.
"-Lighten up, I am joking," he grips my leg, tugging it and I glare at him. "Anyway, Blue is primal- as Red but- I'm sorry but you won't get it Red," Jax looks into my eyes speaking to my wolf directly before taking my hand in his in a loose grip. "Their loyalty to their alpha is rooted to their survival, their social order- it's not just blind obedience Megan but rather a recognition of their leader's role for the pack's well-being."
"Regardless," Jax breaks off Blue's words and I feel Red block him off as well from me, at the same time. "He is our alpha and if what you say is true- I do not doubt you, baby-" he squeezes my hand to reassure me of his words. "If what you say is true then as alpha, he will flip but he has to know. I do not wish to be you right now, but I will accompany you- in case of anything."
He means in case our alpha chokes me out.
"Expect no commitment, Meg," Jax swallows slowly and I eye his Adam's apple. His jaw muscles protruding when he tightens his cheeks.
It's been four days now that Jax knows the truth about the alpha's baby and even Blue is bound by Jax to not utter a word to anyone about it. Until I tell the alpha myself.
Which is what he is trying to convince me to do. But afraid is my middle name.
"What if he rejects it? I can't live with that shame- should-" I gulp. It's been on my mind more than I care to admit. Red whines, making her presence known again because she can feel what I feel. "Abort it?" I whisper and Jax's grip on my wrists tightens.
My cheeks go red with the shame behind my words. At first, Red did not understand until I explained the meaning of the cruel word to her, and I was certain Jax was doing the same to his wolf.
"Do you need my support? I will be there." It was the kindest words I ever heard in all my life and my eyes moistened. I felt it in my heart. The warmth of it.
His slight furrow and warm honey-brown eyes soaked me in their depths as he raised my chin with his index finger slowly. His lips dry from the heat, stretched into a smile. Not a warm smile but simply just a widened one. A feeling one.
Even Red seemed shaken. She sits on her hind legs with her jaw hanging open, one paw up. Strangely, the warmest words to my ears were the support of getting rid of my child.
If only, he was and not the shit show I got. Yet, as Red said the words to me, something seemed to click inside. I might not feel the mate bond, but I somehow knew, it was not a lie. Soren is my mate.
"Do you think Lana is hot?" Jax throws at me, and I frown caught off-guard and about to uncross my legs from the position we both sat in.
"Dunno, I just figured I should take your mind off your mess for a bit," he offers as he gets up to get the basket he had brought, filled with food and drink. "Do you?"