Magnus Caffeine stood in the middle of the castle's grand hall — or at least, what was left of it. The place was a disaster. The high, vaulted ceiling had more holes than actual stone, letting in streams of pale light and the occasional gust of wind. The tapestries lining the walls were tattered and faded, and the massive stone columns looked like they were holding up the structure out of sheer stubbornness. Dust covered everything. Somewhere in the distance, the sound of something heavy crashing to the ground echoed through the halls.
Magnus sighed deeply, his shoulders sagging with the weight of his disappointment. "This is a joke, right?" he said aloud, his voice echoing through the empty chamber. "I'm the Demon King, right? Where's the luxury? Where's the grandeur?" He kicked a loose stone, watching it clatter away. "Where are the servants?"
[There are no servants.]The voice, calm and ever-present in his mind, responded without hesitation.
Magnus froze, his eye twitching. "No servants? What kind of king doesn't have servants?!" He threw his hands up — slowly, because any faster would take more energy than he was willing to spend. "How am I supposed to live a life of ease and laziness without anyone to do things for me?"
[The Castle of Sloth has never had servants because there has never been a Demon King of Sloth.]
That brought Magnus up short. He blinked. "…What?"
"You are the first and only Demon King of Sloth. The sin of Sloth has never manifested in a ruler until now."
Magnus stared at the crumbling walls around him, trying to wrap his head around that. "So you're telling me… this place has been empty all this time?"
[Correct.]
"And nobody thought to maintain it?"
[Maintenance would require effort.]
Magnus pinched the bridge of his nose. "Of course it would."
He shuffled forward, dragging his feet across the dusty floor. The more he saw of the castle, the worse it got. Furniture lay broken and scattered, curtains hung in rags, and the air was so thick with dust that every breath felt like an effort. The castle wasn't just run-down — it was practically abandoned.
"Some king I turned out to be," Magnus muttered. "I don't even have a throne room that isn't falling apart."
[Perhaps you should address these issues, my lord.]
He snorted. "That sounds like work."
[Indeed.]
Magnus groaned. This was going to be a long day.
"Hey, open the system." Magnus said, his tone wasn't of a request but rather a order. He was pissed off already enough.
[Yeah..sure?] The voice was taken-back by the sudden order but it still did it's work nonetheless.
A soft chime echoed in Magnus's mind, and a glowing screen flickered into existence in front of him. It hovered lazily in the air, as if even the system itself was too sluggish to fully commit to its job.
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[Sistem]
[Welc....Magnus .]
[Title: Demon King of Sloth]
[Status: Lazy]
[Power Level: Immeasurable (But We'd Rather Not Measure It)]
[Abilities:]
Absolute Stillness (Passive)
Lethargy Field (Active)
Weight of Sloth (Active)
Sloth's Patience (Passive)
Sloth's Steal (Active)
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"The UI is even worse than before!!!" Magnus yelled with both his hands on his head, looking down on the floor out of pure disappointment.
"What the heck is (sistem)?? The spelling is wrong! What it doesn't even bothers to fully say welcome!?"
Magnus was furious. His eye were starting to redden with anger now.
[The system reflects its master, my lord,] the voice replied smoothly, with just a hint of smugness.
Magnus froze. His hands slowly lowered from his head. "…Are you saying this is my fault?"
[It is a system of Sloth. It adapts to the energy and effort you put into it.]
He stared blankly at the screen, where the word "Sistem" flickered weakly like it was ready to take a nap. "So you're telling me… because I'm lazy, my system is lazy too?"
[Correct.]
Magnus closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He could already feel the migraine forming. "This is the most useless system in existence."
[And yet, it is perfectly suited to you.]
He ignored the voice's jab and squinted at the flickering screen again. Half the text looked like it was about to fade out completely. Even the abilities list seemed exhausted.
"Alright," Magnus muttered. "Let's at least see if this thing can fix my castle." He scrolled through the options, slowly — because the screen lagged like it was running on a bad connection. "Do I have anything like… 'castle management'?"
[You do not.]
"Of course not." Magnus rubbed his temples. "What about… I don't know, 'Repair Castle'?"
[Effort detected. Denied.]
He let out a long, drawn-out groan and flopped into the nearest chair — which immediately broke under him. The crash echoed through the hall.
[Perhaps you should try using your abilities creatively, my lord,] the voice offered, far too pleased with itself.
Magnus glared at the screen, still sprawled on the floor. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"
[Immensely.]
Sighing, he tapped on Sloth's Steal. "Fine. If there's no one around, then what exactly can I steal?"
[You could…] The system hesitated, and even that felt sluggish. [Steal the castle's… structural integrity?]
Magnus blinked. "…I beg your pardon?"
[It is an option.]
He stared up at the crumbling ceiling, then back at the screen. "You're telling me I can steal the strength of the castle and… what? Put it somewhere else?"
[Correct.]
Slowly, a grin spread across his face. A lazy, mischievous one. "Alright. Let's see how this works."
He activated Sloth's Steal. The castle groaned. Stone shifted. Dust fell from above.
And then… silence.
Magnus sat up slowly. "Did it work?"
The floor beneath him rumbled — and then collapsed. He fell straight through, landing with a heavy thud in the room below.
[It worked,] the voice confirmed.
"…I hate this system."
[Indeed.]
Magnus lay flat on his back in the wreckage, staring up at the gaping hole he'd just fallen through. Bits of stone and splintered wood tumbled down around him. A cracked, broken chandelier finally lost its battle with gravity and crashed down next to his head.
He didn't even flinch. He was too tired for fear. Too tired for anger. Too tired for… anything, really.
"This," he said slowly, "is the worst day of my life."
[It's your first day as Demon King,] the voice offered helpfully.
"Exactly." Magnus closed his eyes, willing the universe to take him out of his misery. Unfortunately, the universe was as lazy as he was and decided not to bother.
With an effort that felt equivalent to lifting a mountain, Magnus propped himself up on his elbows and looked around the room he'd fallen into. It was no better than the hall upstairs. The walls were cracked and crumbling, the furniture was either overturned or destroyed, and the floor was littered with debris. The only thing still intact was an ancient, dust-covered mirror leaning against one wall.
Magnus squinted at his reflection. His dark hair was tousled and messy, his robes were already looking worn, and his golden eyes glowed faintly with the light of someone who wanted nothing more than to take a nap. "I look like I've been king for ten years already," he muttered.
[You are adapting well,] the voice said.
"Shut up."
With a groan, Magnus dragged himself to his feet. "Alright. Let's try this again. Open the system."
The sluggish screen popped back up, flickering lazily.
[Sistem]
[Welc...Magnus.]
[Title: Demon King of Sloth]
[Status: Mildly Crushed]
[Power Level: Immeasurable (But We'd Rather Not Measure It)]
Magnus glared at the "Sistem" spelling. "You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?"
[Perhaps.]
He sighed. "Alright, abilities. Let's see… if I can't fix the castle with effort, maybe I can fix it with laziness." His eyes fell on Lethargy Field, and a slow, wicked grin spread across his face. "Hey, voice. What happens if I use this on the castle itself?"
There was a long pause.
[…That… has never been attempted.]
Magnus's grin widened. "Let's find out." He tapped the ability. "Activate Lethargy Field."
The air around him grew heavy. The dust stopped drifting. The broken stones stopped rolling. Even the faint creaking of the castle's walls slowed, like time itself was too tired to keep moving.
And then the castle… slumped.
The walls sagged. The broken furniture flopped flat onto the floor. The chandelier that hadn't fallen yet gave up and crashed down with a resigned clunk. Even the distant sound of crashing debris faded out like the building itself had decided it just couldn't be bothered anymore.
Magnus looked around, satisfied. "There. The castle's not falling apart anymore. It's too lazy to collapse."
[That… is one way to solve the problem.]
"See? I'm a genius." He stretched, already feeling the weight of his own powers making him drowsy. "Now if only I had a bed that wasn't broken."
[Perhaps you could summon one.]
Magnus's eyes lit up. "Finally. Some good advice. System — summon luxury bed."
[Summoning Lesser Minion… Please Wait…]
The dark circle appeared again, swirling with magic. Magnus watched it with anticipation. The shadows pulsed, and then…
"Blorb," said the tiny, round, slimy creature that popped out.
Magnus stared at the thing. "…That is not a bed."
"Blorb," the creature said proudly.
Magnus slowly turned his head to the floating system screen. "Explain."
[You have summoned the Minion of Sloth. It reflects your nature.]
"Are you saying my nature is… this?" He pointed at the blob.
"Blorb," it agreed.
Magnus slumped to the floor in defeat, the blob hopping into his lap like it belonged there.
"This castle sucks.....Wait!" Suddenly magnus eye glew. He had a idea in mind to create a bed with that slime looking creature.
"System, summon more of these balls!" Magnus stated
He knew that could be possible to create a slimy bed with hundreds of these bouncy cuties.
[....]
"System??" Magnus asked in confusion.
[....sistem.]
Magnus faced once again, went back to pure annoyance. But he had to do this nevertheless.
"...sistem..summon more of these monsters.".
[No.]