[No.]
The voice rejected him without hesitation—cold, absolute, and somehow, smug.
Magnus's eye twitched. "Why?" he asked, already regretting it.
[Check the system.]
A sharp pang shot through his skull. The kind of headache that felt like his brain was being squeezed by an indifferent god. He groaned, rubbing his temples.
"Fine. System."
Ttring!
A sluggish, flickering holographic screen materialized before him, loading with all the enthusiasm of a sloth waking from a century-long nap.
---
[System]
Welcome back, M-… You again?
[Title: Demon King of Sloth]
[Status: Alive, for now.]
[Power Level: Beyond Measure (But Who's Measuring?)]
[Stats: Wanna check?]
[Abilities: Wanna?]
[Summon Minion: Cooldown (99:59:59)]
---
Magnus squinted at the screen.
"…There's a cooldown?"
[Yes.]
"For summoning?"
[Yes.]
"Of that?" He lazily pointed at the tiny, gelatinous blob wobbling in front of him.
"Blorb," it said, jiggling in what could only be described as vague embarrassment.
[Yes.]
Magnus dragged a hand down his face. His headache worsened.
"So I have to wait a hundred hours… just to summon another one of these things?"
[Correct.]
He inhaled. Held it. Exhaled. "Alright. Fine."
The slime wobbled in place.
Magnus stared at it.
Then, moving at a speed so slow it almost seemed accidental, he reached forward, grabbed the blob, and pressed it against the floor.
It squished.
"Blorb?"
Magnus laid his head on it. The slime jiggled slightly before settling under his weight. It was warm. Soft. Perfectly comfortable.
A slow, satisfied grin spread across his face.
[What are you doing?]
"Making a pillow," Magnus muttered, already half-asleep.
[That is a living creature.]
"Yeah."
[You are the Demon King of Sloth.]
"Yeah."
[This is disgraceful.]
"Yeah…"
[You should be preparing to rule.]
"Mmhmm." Magnus snuggled deeper into the slime.
For the first time since arriving in this ridiculous world, he felt at peace. Warm. Comfortable. Utterly relaxed.
And then—
CRASH!
The grand doors of his throne room exploded open, sending splinters flying.
A group of heavily armored demons stormed in, weapons drawn, eyes filled with burning hatred. Their leader—a sharp-eyed demon with twisted, obsidian-black horns—pointed a gleaming spear directly at Magnus.
"There you are, false king!" the demon roared, voice echoing across the chamber. "Your reign ends now!"
Magnus cracked one eye open.
He stared at them.
They stared at him.
"...Hi?" Magnus mumbled, voice thick with sleep.
"We are not here for greetings!" the horned demon barked. "You are unworthy of the throne! Surrender now, and we may grant you a swift death!"
Magnus sighed deeply. "Myst."
[Yes?]
"Can the slime fight?"
There was a long silence.
[No.]
Magnus groaned, rolling onto his back. "Then why did I summon it?"
[Unclear.]
The horned demon took a step forward, spear gleaming ominously. "Prepare yourself!"
Magnus yawned. "Alright, alright…" He stretched, popping his neck. "Blorb."
"Blorb?"
"You're promoted."
"…Blorb?"
Magnus lazily lifted a finger. "Go forth, my champion."
The slime jiggled.
The demons did not look impressed.
The horned one narrowed his eyes. "Are you mocking us?"
Magnus ignored him, opening his system again with a thought.
"System. Sloth's Steal: Analyze. The big ugly one."
A pause.
[Processing target: 'Big Ugly One.']
The horned demon flinched. "What are you—?"
[Analysis complete.]
---
[Target: General Varkus, Commander of the Crimson Fangs]
Strength: Extreme.
Speed: Deadly.
Skill: Master Swordsman.
Magic: Explosive Berserker Flame.
Weaknesses: Short temper, bad knees, lactose intolerance.
---
Magnus rubbed his chin. "…So if I take his skill, does that mean he forgets how to fight?"
[Correct.]
"And if I steal his speed?"
[He slows down to a crawl.]
"And if I take his strength?"
[He becomes as strong as a damp tissue.]
Magnus slowly grinned. "Neat."
The demon general growled. "Enough of this nonsense! Face me, false king!"
Magnus raised a hand. "Nah."
Sloth's Steal: Activated.
There was no flash of light. No dramatic effect. Just the faintest shwoop—like a vacuum quietly sucking something away.
General Varkus swayed on his feet. His expression went from enraged… to confused… to horrified.
The spear slipped from his hands. His knees wobbled. His once-imposing aura collapsed like a deflated balloon.
Magnus sat up. He flexed his fingers. He felt… stronger. Faster. Sharper. The knowledge of swordplay settled into his mind like he'd trained for years.
Varkus, meanwhile, staggered back, mouth agape. "What… what did you do?!"
Magnus leaned back into his slime pillow. "Nothing much," he said, yawning. "Just made things a little more… fair."
The remaining demons exchanged uncertain glances. Their commander was trembling.
The power dynamic had shifted.
And Magnus hadn't even gotten up.
He turned to his slime.
"Blorb."
"Blorb?"
"Sloth's Gift: Apply."
[Confirm transfer of stolen strength, speed, and skill to 'Blorb'?]
"Yep."
The system beeped.
A wave of dark energy pulsed from Magnus's hand into the slime.
"Blorb?"
Then—
Blorb expanded.
The once-tiny, wobbly creature pulsed, its jelly-like body growing, stretching, solidifying. Muscles formed beneath its translucent surface. A mouth split open, fangs glistening.
A low, guttural growl rumbled from its core.
The demons took a step back.
"Blorb…?" it rumbled, flexing a massive, rippling arm.
Magnus grinned. "Alright, buddy. Show 'em what you got."
Without hesitation, Blorb lunged.
It chomped off the hand of the demon on the left. The spear the demon once held disappeared into the cutie's gelatinous body—except Blorb wasn't so cute anymore.
"He's insane…!" one demon gasped, watching in horror.
Magnus sat cross-legged on his throne, clapping lazily. "Nice one, buddy."
[True. He is riva—no. He is overpowering a high-ranking demon.]
In mere seconds, most of the demons were gone—devoured. Only one remained, frozen in fear.
Magnus hummed, deep in thought. Then he smirked.
"Blorb. Stop."
The massive slime halted instantly, flattening slightly like a trained dog.
[I… suppose it got its cuteness back, eh?]
"Huh?" Magnus blinked. That was the first time the system had shown anything other than smugness. Was that… admiration?
He shrugged it off and turned to the trembling demon kneeling near the entrance, eyes wide with terror.
The slime was so strong they hadn't even crossed the carpet leading to his throne.
Let alone touched him.
Magnus rested his chin on his palm, staring down at the last surviving demon. The poor guy was trembling, forehead pressed against the cold stone floor, his whole body shaking like a leaf in a storm.
"P-please… spare me, my lord!" the demon stammered, hands clutched together in desperate prayer. "I was only following orders! I-I swear my loyalty! I'll do anything!"
Magnus yawned. "Uh-huh."
Blorb, now a hulking, muscular mass of translucent destruction, loomed behind the kneeling demon, a low, guttural growl vibrating through its jelly-like body. The demon flinched but didn't dare look up.
Magnus drummed his fingers on the armrest of his throne, thinking. The guy was weak—pathetically so—but he did have some use. A middle-ranking demon might know his way around the castle, maybe even have some connections. Plus, Magnus wasn't exactly in the mood to deal with more annoying minions storming his throne room every five minutes.
He sighed. "Alright. Congrats, buddy."
The demon stiffened. "M-my lord?"
"You're hired."
The demon blinked, hesitantly raising his head. "H-hired…?"
Magnus waved lazily. "You're my minion now. Swear loyalty, do whatever I say, and, uh… try not to suck. Otherwise, well—" He gestured toward Blorb, who let out a slow, threatening blorb.
The demon's eyes darted toward the massive slime, and he immediately slammed his head back onto the floor. "I swear my undying loyalty, my lord! From this moment forth, I am your humble servant!"
Magnus scratched his head. "Cool. What's your name?"
The demon hesitated, then cleared his throat. "I-It's—"
"No, wait." Magnus waved him off. "Lemme guess. Something edgy and demonic, right? Like… Zalthor? Malrik? Vexaroth the Blood Reaper?"
The demon looked away. "…It's Bob."
Silence.
Magnus blinked. "Bob?"
Bob fidgeted. "It's short for Bobaroth the Devourer of Souls."
Magnus snorted. "Yeah, nah. You're just Bob now."
Bob winced but nodded rapidly. "Yes, my lord! I am Bob!"
He turned to Blorb. "Alright, big guy. You did good. Now, shrink back down."
The giant slime tilted its head. "…Blorb?"
"Yeah, yeah, I know, you're enjoying the muscles. But come on, man, you're way too huge to be a pillow like this."
Blorb hesitated… then deflated with a comical fwoomp, returning to its small, squishy form.
Magnus scooped him up, plopped him onto his lap, and leaned back into his throne. "There we go. Much better."
Bob, still kneeling, peeked up nervously. "U-um, my lord… what should we do about the castle staff? The other commanders will surely notice General Varkus's… absence."
"Ah. Now that I think, you said you were following orders. Who are these staffs? I am sure they are from this castle, which demon king do they serve?"
Bob gulped, trembling under Magnus's lazy stare. "T-the castle staff, my lord… they serve the throne itself. They don't have a personal loyalty to any one Demon King. They just follow whoever rules."
Magnus raised an eyebrow. "So they won't try to kill me?"
Bob hesitated. "M-most of them, no. But the real problem is the six other Demon Kings."
Magnus blinked. "Other… Demon Kings?"
Bob nodded rapidly. "Yes, my lord! Pride, Wrath, Greed, Gluttony, Envy, and Lust. They've ruled their own territories for ages, and your sudden appearance has… disturbed the balance."
Magnus sighed, rubbing his temples. "Of course it has. And let me guess—some of them are mad about it?"
Bob winced. "Yes. The Demon King of Wrath is especially furious. He sees your existence as an insult. The Demon King of Pride refuses to acknowledge you as his equal. The Demon King of Greed is interested in what you have but doesn't think you deserve it."
Magnus yawned. "And the other three?"
Bob hesitated. "…Unclear. The Demon King of Lust is unpredictable, the Demon King of Envy might already be scheming against you, and the Demon King of Gluttony is… well, always hungry."
Magnus tapped his chin. "Huh. Sounds annoying."
Bob nodded rapidly. "V-very."
Magnus leaned back, staring at the ceiling. "Alright. First things first—send a message to the castle staff. Tell them I don't care what they did before. If they do their jobs, they can stay. If they betray me, Blorb gets a snack."
Blorb let out a deep, ominous blorb.
Bob swallowed hard. "U-understood!"
Magnus smirked. "As for the Demon Kings… let's see who comes knocking first."
He closed his eyes, settling back into his seat.
He didn't need to rush.
After all, he was the Demon King of Sloth.
And sooner or later…
They'd all come to him.
[Please kill this guy!!]