Su Nian first heard the word "jinx" at the age of seven. Her mother died when giving birth to her, and her father died in an accident. Later, her beloved grandfather and grandmother both passed away when she was in primary school. Every time someone died, her aunt would point at her and shout, "She's a jinx! She killed everyone close to her!"
Back then, Su Nian didn't understand what "jinx" meant, only that she shouldn't be alive.
She was sent to live with different relatives, but no one truly wanted to keep her. They either made her do chores or ignored her like air. Finally, she was sent to Chenxi Orphanage, a shabby small building with peeling walls marked by long-standing rainwater. Holding her only suitcase, she stood at the gate, too scared to go in.
"What's your name?" a gentle voice asked.
She looked up to see a woman in a simple linen dress, smiling like warm winter sunlight through a window—Huiting.
"S… Su Nian."
"Welcome home." Huiting reached out and gently ruffled her hair.
Home? Would this person also die like the others? Su Nian felt a faint fear, afraid to get close to anyone. She always ate alone, hid in corners to read, and cried secretly at night. But Huiting never pressured her. She always left a bedside lamp on, saved her a bowl of food, and sometimes gave her a warm glass of milk when she sat alone on the swing, lost in thought.
She never said things like "You're not a jinx," but Su Nian knew Huiting wasn't afraid of her.
Later, Huiting became her legal guardian.
She slowly adjusted to life in the orphanage and learned to make casual acquaintances. But she still dared not to smile. She feared that if she was too happy, fate would punish her by taking away her loved ones again.
In middle school, Su Nian met Teacher Lin—her homeroom teacher. He wore rimless glasses and always had a cold, expressionless face, like a robot without emotions. No one in the class dared to mess with him, he was so intimidating that just one glare would shut up troublemakers.
Su Nian was terrified of him but also felt a strange sense of awe.
One day, Huiting told her she'd gotten a grant, thanks to Teacher Lin and a chubby reporter who helped with the application.
"Why did they help me?" she asked cautiously, standing outside the office.
"Nothing special." Teacher Lin glanced up, still expressionless. "You get good grades. Why wouldn't you qualify?"
"…Thanks."
"Don't thank me. Thank Zhao Fa."
Zhao Fa, she later learned, was a young man a few years younger than Teacher Lin, from a wealthy family that ran a charity foundation. Teacher Lin, Zhao Fa, and the chubby reporter would occasionally take her to lunch, and Zhao Fa would even slip her money, saying, "Girls who are too skinny aren't cute."
"…I'm a jinx. You'll have bad luck if you get too close to me…" she mumbled one day after a meal, head down.
Zhao Fa hesitated for a moment, then laughed and flicked her on the forehead. "You're so silly. Teacher Lin is still perfectly fine. If you were really a jinx, he would have died long ago."
She couldn't help but secretly glance at Teacher Lin, who remained expressionless, as if he hadn't heard a word.
But in the afternoon sunlight streaming through the restaurant window onto the table, she suddenly smiled.
...
Everything collapsed that day.
When she came home, she was kidnapped by masked men and locked in a cold warehouse, chained up. The kidnappers made her watch TV, where the news reported that Teacher Lin, the chubby reporter, Sister Huiting, and Zhao Fa were all dead.
Her world felt like it had shattered instantly.
"See? I really am a jinx."
She stared blankly as the kidnappers drew a knife, intent on hurting her over and over until she died. Then, suddenly, she saw flashes of lightning, flying swords, and a familiar silhouette.
Teacher Lin…? But he was supposed to be dead.
When she woke up, a strange girl was bandaging her wounds. The sting in her palm proved she was alive. The girl said, "Teacher Lin was investigating his own death and ended up finding you by accident."
So he'd become a ghost to uncover his cause of death.
Guilt flooded her. She wanted to say "thank you" but couldn't face him.
Later, in the hospital, Teacher Lin sat beside her bed and said, "I'm leaving."
Her heart tightened. She wanted to say, Don't go. Take me with you.
But the girl who'd bandaged her snapped, "Since you're alive, don't rush to die! Think about Teacher Lin saved you even after becoming a ghost. If you die, he'll come back to chew me out!"
That night, she gazed at the sky for a long time.
...
"Sister Su Nian, come eat! Or I'll finish all the food!" Pan Jie's voice called from afar.
Su Nian snapped back to reality, wiped the dirt from her hands, and looked up at the green vegetable field and the dining table where Dao Lord Zhang, Zhang Luo, and others sat.
She stood up and ran over.
Warm sunlight fell on her, and the breeze carried the faint scent of grass.
She remembered Teacher Lin's last words: "Be a good person."
She gently touched the scar on her right palm, a mark reminding her that the past was over. She would drop the "jinx" label, study Taoist magic hard, and protect everyone she cared about.
She smiled, truly and happily.
"Coming!" she shouted, chasing after Pan Jie toward the Taoist temple.
====================
苏念第一次听到 "扫把星" 这个词,是在她七岁的时候.
母亲在生下她后就去世了,父亲也在一次意外中丧命,后来,唯一疼爱她的爷爷和婆婆也在她小学时相继离世.每次有人去世,婶婶都会指着她骂:"她就是个扫把星,克死了所有亲近的人!"
那时候,苏念不懂 "扫把星" 是什么意思,只知道自己不应该活着.
后来,她被送去不同的亲戚家,可是没有一家愿意真正收留她,不是让她做家务,就是当空气一样无视着.最后,她被送进晨曦孤儿院,那是一栋陈旧的小楼,院墙斑驳,常年有雨水浸透的痕迹.她拖着唯一的行李箱站在门口,不敢迈进去.
"你叫什么名字?" 一个温柔的声音响起.
她抬起头,看见了一个穿着简单棉麻长裙的女人,笑起来像冬日里透过窗子的暖阳,慧婷.
"苏... 苏念."
"欢迎你回家." 慧婷伸出手,轻轻地揉了揉她的头发.
家?她会不会也像其他人一样死掉?苏念的心中隐隐有些恐惧,不敢靠近任何人.她总是一个人吃饭,一个人躲在角落里看书,晚上也总是偷偷抹眼泪.可是慧婷从不强迫她,总是笑着给她留一盏床头灯,给她留一碗饭,偶尔在她独自坐在秋千上发呆时,递上一杯温热的牛奶.
她没有说什么 "你不是扫把星" 之类的话,但苏念知道,慧婷不怕她.
后来,慧婷成了她的监护人.
她开始慢慢适应孤儿院的生活,学会了在人群中,认识一些点头之交.
可是,她依然不敢露出笑容.
她怕,笑得太开心,命运就会突然降下惩罚,把亲近她的人再一次夺走.
上初中后,苏念遇到了林教师.
林教师是她的班主任,戴着一副无框眼镜,永远板着一张脸,像是没有表情的机器人.班上没人敢惹他,因为他真的很凶,一旦有人在课堂上捣乱,就会被他一个眼神吓到不敢出声.
苏念很怕他,但又对他有一种奇怪的敬畏感.
直到有一天,慧婷告诉她,她的助学金申请下来了,而且是林教师和一位胖胖的记者一起帮忙申请的.
"为什么要帮我?"
她站在办公室门口,小心翼翼地问.
"没什么." 林教师抬头看了她一眼,依然是那张没有表情的脸,"你成绩不错,申请下来不是很正常吗?"
"... 谢谢."
"用不着谢我,谢那个赵发吧."
赵发,后来她才知道,那是个比林教师小几岁的青年,家里开了一家企业,创办了慈善基金会.林教师和赵发,还有那位胖胖的记者,偶尔会带着她去吃午饭,赵发甚至会塞些钱给她:"女孩子太瘦了不好看."
"... 我是个扫把星,你们和我走得太近会倒霉的..."
那天吃完饭后,她低着头说.
赵发愣了一下,然后笑了,伸手弹了下她的额头:"傻不傻?林教师都活得好好的,你真要是扫把星,他早没了."
她忍不住偷偷看了一眼林教师,林教师还是那副面无表情的样子,像是完全没听见这句话.
可是,在那个阳光透过玻璃,窗洒落在餐桌上的午后,她突然就笑了.
...
一切都在那一天崩塌了.
她回家时,被一群黑衣人绑架,关在一个阴冷的仓库里,被铁链绑着.绑匪示意她看电视,新闻里播报着,林教师死了,胖子记者死了,慧婷姐姐死了,赵发死了.
她的世界,仿佛瞬间塌了.
"果然,我真的是个扫把星."
她麻木地看着黑衣人拿出刀,准备一次又一次地伤害她,直到她死亡为止.
突然,她看到了雷光,看到了飞剑,看到了那个熟悉的背影.
林教师...?
可他不是已经死了吗?
她醒来的时候,一个陌生的女孩正在帮她止血,她的手掌心传来刺痛感,证明她还活着.女孩对她说:"林教师想调查自己的死因,才阴差阳错找到了你."
原来,他为了追查自己的死因,已经成了鬼.
她心里充满了愧疚,想跟他说声 "谢谢" ,却又不敢面对他.
直到在医院里,林教师坐在她的病床前,说:"我要走了."
她的心一下子揪紧了.
她想说,别走,带我一起走吧.
可就在这时,那个帮她止血的女孩开口了:"你既然还活着,就别急着寻死啊.想一想做了鬼,也要救你的林教师,你死了,他回来找我算账怎么办?!"
那天晚上,她望着夜空,想了很久.
...
"苏念师妹,快来吃饭啦,不然我就把所有饭菜吃光了!"
潘洁的声音从不远处传来.
苏念的思绪被拉回现实,她擦了擦手上的泥土,抬头看着远处绿油油的菜地,还有饭桌上已经坐着的张道尊,张洛等人.
她站起身,快步跑了过去.
温暖的日光洒在身上,微风吹过,带着淡淡的青草香.
她想起了林教师最后对她说的话:"将来做个好人."
她轻轻地摸了一下自己的右手掌心,那里有一道疤痕,像是某种印记,提醒着她,以前的经历都过去了,他要脱离 "扫把星" 这个称号,努力学习道法,帮助身边所有亲近的人.
她笑了,真心实意地笑了.
"来啦!" 她追着潘洁,奔向道观.