So, after being knocked out, I'm suddenly drifting in and out of some weird, mind-bending dream, or whatever this was.
And then—bam. I'm back in Tokyo. The same old city, the same old me. I'm standing in front of some game shop, staring at the cover of Eternal Love Fantasia—the one that somehow led me straight into this mess.
I step up to the counter, ready to drop cash on the game. The cashier, some grumpy dude, doesn't even look up as he scans it.
"You sure about this?" he asks, not even blinking. It's like he's seen my type a million times before.
"Yeah," I say, all hyped up. "It's got everything: epic battles, hot characters, romance, magic! All the things a guy could want!"
The guy barely reacts. "You'll regret it. Trust me." He hands me the game like it's a cursed object.
And I'm thinking, "Yeah, okay, whatever, I'm gonna love this."
Cut to 100 hours of playing. My frustration keeps growing as the game becomes more absurd with each passing minute. The plot? Completely nonsensical. The main character, Haruto, the so-called "hero"? Dumb as a brick. Every single time he opens his mouth, I feel my brain cells committing mass suicide.
"Oh, I'm the legendary Thunder Sage!" he announces for the millionth time. "Let's defeat the villains together, best friend!"
...Which, by the way, makes no sense, because he's supposed to be some sort of powerful hero and yet he can't figure out what's going on half the time. The game's events are dropping one after another, none of them making any sense, and there I am, just stuck in this mess of random quests and forced drama.
Every time I think I'm about to make progress, bam, here comes another absurd event. Some stupid love confession. Some random "find the hidden artifact" quest. It's impossible to keep up, let alone make sense of.
And it only gets worse. I'm starting to think this is some kind of cosmic prank.
The worst part? It's all happening because of Haruto, who can't even figure out his own role in the story. At this rate, I'm about ready to snap.
And then, just like that... I wake up.
I'm in the same broken-down villager house from before. The one I can't escape. No flashy game world. No ridiculous titles. No stupid quests. Just... me. A broke-ass villager in a game world I can't escape.
I sit up, rubbing my eyes, like, "Wait, was it all a dream? Please tell me it was."
Sighing deeply, I glance around. Yeah, no. It was definitely not a dream. And I'm definitely still stuck here.
This game, man. What the hell was I thinking buying this thing? It's a mess. This whole damn world is a mess.
---
I sit up in my rickety little bed, the familiar creaking of the wooden beams making me cringe. I rub my eyes like I'm trying to wipe away the remnants of some bad dream, but nope, nothing changes. The dingy villager house with its cracked walls and barely-there furniture is still here, mocking me with its mediocrity.
I groan. "Great. Just great."
Was it all a dream? No, of course not. If it was, I'm pretty sure I'd have woken up somewhere less... depressing. Somewhere with at least a decent Wi-Fi connection. But nope. This is my life now. I'm stuck in this ridiculous world that somehow thinks I'm supposed to be a hero's best friend.
I get up and shuffle to the window, peering out at the pitiful view of the village. Barely any people walking around, just the odd NPC here and there. NPC, by the way, who are way better at living than I am right now. They're all just going about their daily routines, pretending like they actually have a purpose. Unlike me.
I pull myself away from the window and glance at the worn-down corner where my stuff is stashed. No game console, no screen full of stats and progress bars. Just... nothing.
"Maybe it's all part of the plan," I mutter sarcastically. "Right. Just wait for my big moment to shine. It's coming, I can feel it... probably."
I sigh dramatically and sit back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Haruto's stupid face flashes in my mind. Legendary Thunder Sage, my ass. That guy couldn't even light a candle without burning himself, much less lead a group of heroes.
Suddenly, I hear the sound of footsteps outside my door. I freeze, hoping it's not some random quest trigger coming my way.
But it's not. It's worse.
A figure steps inside without knocking. It's Haruto. Of course it is. He's standing in the doorway, looking as clueless and irritating as ever, his "heroic" grin plastered across his face like some kind of badge of honor.
"You up already, Jin?" he asks, his voice loud enough to shatter my remaining patience.
"Why wouldn't I be?" I respond flatly. "I'm living the dream here, you know?"
His grin widens like he doesn't notice the sarcasm in my tone. "Awesome! I was thinking we could go check out some quests today! Maybe hit up a dungeon or something? You know, real hero stuff!"
I stare at him for a long, uncomfortable moment. "You mean your hero stuff, right? Because I'm pretty sure I'm just a... what was it? Thieving Cat?"
Haruto's eyes sparkle with that same clueless enthusiasm. "Exactly! We'll get through this together! You and me! Like best friends, right?"
I rub my forehead. "Yeah. Sure. Best friends. We're totally more than that, right?" I emphasize the last part, practically mocking the whole situation. It's a miracle I'm still sane, or at least pretending to be.
Haruto, of course, doesn't catch on to my sarcasm. "You got it! Anyway, I figured we could tackle some love confession quests—"
I cut him off. "Please, no. I can't do another ridiculous confession quest. Not again. I can barely handle the nonsense this world's throwing at me already."
"Oh, come on!" Haruto says, not missing a beat. "You've got this! Besides, I've been thinking, and I think you're the perfect guy for this one! You're good at... you know, stealing people's hearts!"
I stare at him. Then I deadpan, "You're lucky I'm not currently passing out from sheer disbelief, Haruto. I'd say that was the dumbest thing you've ever said, but you've got a lot of competition in that department."
He laughs like I just said something totally hilarious. "Ha! That's the spirit, Jin! Alright, let's go! Adventure awaits!"
And with that, he's gone, leaving me alone in my shabby little room with the weight of my so-called new life pressing down on me.
"Adventure, huh?" I mutter to myself, staring at the door that just slammed shut behind him. "If this is what adventure looks like, I think I'll pass."
I flop back down on the bed, my thoughts spiraling back to the mess I've somehow found myself in.
What did I do to deserve this? And why, of all things, did I have to buy Eternal Love Fantasia?
I roll over and bury my face in the pillow, hoping for some kind of escape. But no, this is my reality now. All of it.
Just me. Haruto. And an endless loop of ridiculous quests.
"Someone, please, send me back to Tokyo."