Jin had barely closed his eyes. Barely, mind you. A nap that was supposed to be a break from all the ridiculousness he'd been going through. No more weird butlers, no more insane "Bath of Eternal Friendship" events, just a quiet, peaceful nap in his sorry excuse for a house.
Too bad the universe had other plans. Again.
Jin was in the midst of what could only be described as a semi-satisfactory nap, the kind where you're still half awake and half dead—when something shifted in the room.
What... the hell?
A soft rustle. Like fabric brushing against wood. Jin didn't want to believe it, but his gut was telling him something was off. He tried to ignore it, but then—
THUD!
A loud noise followed by a skittering sound, like a mouse with a vendetta against floors.
Jin shot up, eyes wide open. "Wha—who the hell—"
His vision cleared, and there, in the corner of his decrepit living room, was—what? A girl? A tiny, cute, way-too-sneaky girl in a cat costume? She had pointed ears, a tail twitching, and—okay, Jin wasn't sure, but the tail was definitely twitching with suspicion.
But it wasn't just her ears and tail that caught his attention. The outfit she wore was a little... much. Way too revealing, like something straight out of a... game clearly designed by people who thought fanservice was a necessity. Her midriff was exposed, her tight top barely holding in everything it was supposed to cover, and her shorts—if you could even call them that—barely qualified as more than a glorified belt.
Her legs, long and slender, were covered in thigh-high stockings, and her boots had way too many buckles for someone who wasn't in a fantasy battle.
This was not the kind of thief Jin was prepared to deal with at 2 AM.
"W-wait a minute..." Jin squinted. "Is that a... neko thief?"
The girl froze, her eyes locking on his. "...!"
Then she did the absolute dumbest thing she could've done. She grinned. "Oh! You're awake! Good! I was just... uh... testing to see if you were sleeping. You know. So I could borrow some things."
Jin stared at her, his brain running at 2% processing speed. "Borrow?!" He gestured wildly around the room, which was basically a pile of broken dreams. "What, this? You're gonna steal my depressing life? GO AHEAD! Take it, I don't need it!"
The neko girl blinked, then held up a small pouch, shaking it. "I was thinking more like... this!" she chirped, showing a pouch of gold coins. "I saw you got a decent amount of gold in your sleep, and... well, I thought maybe, just maybe... you wouldn't mind me taking some?"
Jin's expression shifted into complete confusion. "Wait. You saw me sleeping? While I was sleeping? And you just decided to steal from me?"
The neko thief shrugged, her chest jiggling a little more than Jin was prepared for. "It's just how things work! You know, I take it, you don't notice, and everyone's happy!" She spun around with a flourish, almost tripping over the broken couch in the process. "It's a win-win!"
Jin rubbed his face. "No. No way. I didn't sign up for this kind of robbery. Do I look like someone who has anything to spare? Look at me! I'm living in a pile of despair!"
She narrowed her eyes. "So you're... not gonna let me take the gold?"
Jin was beyond done. "Take it?! I was just rewarded for suffering! This gold is for my personal emotional distress. You can't just swoop in here like some... feline bandit and steal it!"
She gasped, stepping back in mock offense. "Feline bandit? How rude! I'll have you know I'm an expert in stealth! My skills are top-notch! No one ever catches me!" She stood tall, puffing out her chest, her barely-there top shifting with the motion, causing Jin to look away for his own sanity's sake. "I'm practically a legend!"
Jin stared. "A legend? Lady, you tripped over my couch, and you didn't even hide your tail. You're like the worst thief in existence."
The neko girl looked down at her tail in embarrassment. "It's... still a work in progress."
At this point, Jin was just too tired to argue. "Look, I don't care. You wanna take the gold, go ahead. I'm done. The system keeps throwing gold at me for just... existing. What's a little more to you, huh? Take it. I'll just be over here... wondering how much worse my luck can get."
The neko thief hesitated, looking at the pouch in her hands, and then her eyes flicked back to Jin. "So... you're *sure I can just take it?"
Jin, hands flopped to his sides, sighed. "Sure," he muttered. "Take it. It's all part of the NPC experience."
And with that, the neko thief smiled sweetly, giving him a quick salute before dashing out of the house, tail flicking in triumph.
Jin flopped back on the couch, defeated. "This game... is just the worst."
Jin laid back down, trying his best to ignore the absurdity of his situation. The neko thief was long gone—likely off to steal from someone with a slightly better life than him—and now, all Jin wanted was a little peace.
Just five more minutes...
He closed his eyes, willing himself into a nap that would hopefully erase the nightmare that was today. He could almost hear his bed creaking in relief as he sank deeper into the thin mattress, his body finally settling into the sweet nothingness of sleep.
But of course, the system had other plans.
DING!
A loud, cheerful chime echoed through Jin's brain, shattering any hope of rest. His eyes snapped open in annoyance. "What now? What ridiculous achievement do you have for me this time?"
[SYSTEM MESSAGE:][Achievement Unlocked: "Neko Bait"]Congratulations, Jin! You've been targeted by a skilled thief in an extra fanservice-y outfit! You really do have the best luck, don't you?
Jin groaned, staring at the ceiling. "I didn't ask for this, system! I'm just trying to get some sleep!"
DING!
Another one. Another notification. Was this some kind of sick joke?
[SYSTEM MESSAGE:][Achievement Unlocked: "Gold Hoarder (Not So Secretly)"]You've accumulated a substantial amount of gold by doing absolutely nothing. You're truly the perfect NPC for this world!
Jin sighed. Okay, I'll take the gold. Not like I have anything else to do with it.
DING!
"NOOO, PLEASE!" Jin wailed, nearly suffocating in the pillow. "I can't take it anymore!"
[SYSTEM MESSAGE:][Achievement Unlocked: "Sleep Deprived Hero"]Congrats! You've achieved a level of exhaustion worthy of an award! Rest is for the weak, but you? You're practically a legend at sleep deprivation.
Jin buried his face into the pillow. "Why do you hate me so much, system?" he grumbled.
DING!
Another one? Of course.
[SYSTEM MESSAGE:][Achievement Unlocked: "Shameless Suffering"]You're still going strong, Jin! The system rewards your unwavering commitment to a life of pain and awkward adventures!
"Just stop!" Jin screamed. "I'm not even the hero, I'm an NPC in my own life! Why are you taunting me with all these damn achievements?"
DING!
Another one? Jin stared blankly.
[SYSTEM MESSAGE:][Achievement Unlocked: "Feline Bandit's Bane"]You survived a robbery attempt from a neko thief in a questionably provocative outfit! Clearly, you're destined for even weirder experiences than anyone could've predicted.
Jin groaned so loudly it echoed through the room. "This can't be real. None of this is real. I just want to sleep. Please. Let me sleep for one minute without getting awarded for just... existing."
He rolled over, pulling the blanket over his head, his body stiff with frustration. But of course, just when he thought he'd finally get some peace...
DING!
"NO!" Jin screamed, pulling the blanket tighter around himself. "I can't take it anymore!!"
[SYSTEM MESSAGE:][Achievement Unlocked: "Gold for Suffering"]You've been rewarded gold for the insane, unbelievable trials you've endured today. Enjoy your hard-earned currency, because it's the only thing that will ever make you feel better!
Jin lifted his head out from under the covers, glaring at the ceiling. "Great. I'm rich with gold and poor in every other way imaginable."
He checked his total amount of gold.
[Gold Balance: 3,001 Coins]
Jin stared at the number for a moment. He'd gone from having nothing to... this. Three thousand and one coins. It wasn't a life-changing amount, but he'd earned it by doing absolutely nothing of importance.
"I'll take it. I guess... it's not like there's anything else in this crazy game that's going my way," he muttered, flopping back onto the pillow. "But for this much, I could've actually had some peace. Ugh, what a price."
DING!
"OF COURSE!" Jin groaned.
[SYSTEM MESSAGE:][Achievement Unlocked: "Endurance of the Desperate"]You've survived a shameless amount of mockery and now you can look forward to the rest of your days filled with endless achievement notifications!
Jin made a strangled noise in the back of his throat. "I'm done. I'm so done. This is it. I'm going back to sleep, and I'm not listening to another word of this stupid game."
But the system, relentless and cruel as ever, kept pinging.
DING!
"NO! I'M OUT!" Jin screamed, slamming the blanket over his head, his mind completely broken by the endless stream of sarcastic achievements. "Why me?!"