My mother's condition continued to worsen as the days passed. Her body began to weaken and get skinnier.
I couldn't believe it. What started as something small that I thought was going to go away was now getting worse. It had been two years since she had gotten sick, and she was getting worse.
I felt I had to work hard to make a cure. I did as much research as possible alongside my princess education. I asked my mother's physician lots of questions and tried to learn more about, medicine making. Once I felt I had the hang of it I felt I could start making I used the same ingredients at the pone the physician made for my mother, but I would add to his recipe and change a few things.
I first time I went to her room and ask her to try the medicine I made. My mother, though surprised agreed and drank it. I was naively hoping that she would get better from my poorly made medicine.
I was disappointed when I returned to her the next day, and she didn't get any better. I thought I had to try harder, I had to study harder. I continued to try making new medicines, trying out new formulas and giving them to her to try. My mother would try every time, but she didn't get better.
"Rian, I love your passion for medicine, but you have to be careful. Your father wouldn't approve of a princess doing things like this," she warned me one time.
I nodded my head in understanding that I had to keep my studies a secret.
My father had become worried about my mother as he frequently visited now, so it added to the likelihood of him finding out about my medicine making if I wasn't carefull.
I wondered why father always came when my mother would get upset at him. She didn't like seeing him.
Months passed and I continued to desperately try and make a cure. I would have my mother try them each time hoping that they would cure her.
"Mother try this one, " I asked desperately for her to try another one I had made.
My mother smiled as she looked at it.
"Rian," my mother said to me a in a weak voice. "You don't have to push yourself so hard. I know you're worried about and I'm sorry you have to see me like this."
Tears streamed down my face. She brought her hand up to my face and wiped away at my tears. "It's okay, okay," she said comfort to me but I didn't feel comforted at all.
"No, I'll work harder to save you!" I yelled out to her in determination.
My mothers' eyes softened "I didn't want to tell you this Rian but you're a big girl now, so I'm sure you can handle this. I want you to stop making me medicines.
"But why?" I cried.
"You have to, because there is nothing that can be done now. The disease has done too much damage to my body," she explained. I was silent as I stared at her in horror
"No," I refused, tears streaming down my face. "No!" I lay doen on her lap and cried.
My mother fell silent for a moment as I cried loudly. I didn't want to believe it.
"You are such a kind, sweet girl," she said as she motioned for me to get closer and hugged me. "I hope you remain kind and sweet as you grow older, but I know it'll be difficult with your father. There's no doubt in my mind that this talent of yours could help people."
I looked up at her as she spoke.
"Promise me no matter what you'll stay kind and help others where you can," she asked of me. "I don't want you to be ruined."
My eyes were full of tears. "Yes, mummy," I said and nodded in response. Though I didn't fully understand what she meant by ruined just yet.
"Good girl," she said and kissed my forehead.
It was a year later that she eventually passed away. I was just 12 years old.
In the end I couldn't save her. I was absolutely devastated. I blamed myself for not being able to.
After she passed on, I continued to do research on the medicine and herbalism in general. I was determined to find the cure, to get the formula right. I did my research in private following my mother's advice and trying to prevent my father from finding out.
In time as I got better and better in herbalism, I discovered that past a certain point there's nothing that can be done to cure a terminal disease. Meaning even if I could've somehow made a cure, it would have been too late since the disease had already destroyed my mother's organs.
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"Finally," I thought to myself as I rubbed the ointment on my skin. I smelled my arm looking for a scent, I noticed it was completely scentless. For a moment I froze, wondering if I was dreaming. I sniffed again just be sure, but the result stayed the same. My arm was completely scentless.
The ointment was working. Finally, I had made it work! After almost 2 months of testing since I discovered the plant. I felt a wave of relief wash over me as I sank in my chair and looked up at the ceiling with a satisfied. It always felt amazing when I finally got a medicine or ointment mixture right.
With this, I could run away without worrying about my scent and my father coming after me and finding me. I'll be able to smell other wolves ahead of time giving me time and run away.
Now I could go on with my plan to escape. Over the years I've thought about leaving the castle and how I would do it. I always got stuck on how I would hide my scent which was one of the biggest issues that would almost immediately get me caught.
With one issue out of the way I could focus on the next one; which was how I was going to leave the castle. I went to my closet, put back my herbalism materials and took out a book and a folded piece of paper. Returning to my desk I laid everything out.