Evren just got his new phone this evening after his parents fussed over him for getting home late and Evren had to calm them down and explain why. He had his siblings help him set up his new phone and create various accounts–Google, Facebook, Instagram, Tiktok, you name it–that made Evren's head spin just by thinking about it. He lays on his bed after taking a warm shower, staring at his phone screen. What should I do? He has to add his friends' contacts and Facebook accounts, doesn't he? He swipes his phone open and adds them, glancing at the sheet Mars gave him to make sure he typed it correctly. He stays there, quiet and unmoving for a couple of seconds. What now? I haven't used a phone before because radiation at a close distance was strictly prohibited for me back in the hospital.
Ding!
A notification from his phone rings. Evren checks it and clicks on the notification message that popped up on his lockscreen.
Marlene Allard created the group.
Marlene Allard named the group SURVIVORS.
Marlene Allard added you and 2 other members in the group.
Marlene Allard nicknamed herself as QueenofMars.
Marlene Allard nicknamed Yuka Elms as Miss Boomer.
Marlene Allard nicknamed Stellan Collins as FieryBoi.
Marlene Allard nicknamed you as Sunshine.
Evren's eyebrows shoot up at the nickname Mars gives him. Sunshine? Why is that? He looks back at his phone, turning over in his bed.
QueenofMars is typing...
QueenofMars: i named this gc as survivors bec we survived from the gangsters today
QueenofMars: couldn't think of any good name for this gc so suck it up losers
Miss Boomer is typing...
Miss Boomer: Did ya really have to give me this stupid nickname?
QueenofMars: yes, why not
FieryBoi is typing...
FieryBoi: why am I here? And what is up with my nickname?
QueenofMars: it suits you so shush.
QueenofMars: and hey, Evren! Stop seeing our messages and send a message too!
FieryBoi is typing...
FieryBoi: don't force him to chat if he doesn't want to bec i don't either
QueenofMars: ugh, you're just like Yuka. Should i nickname you Mr. Boomer too?
FieryBoi: try I dare you.
Miss Boomer: Guys, please stop.
Evren reads the conversation with amusement, a smile lifting the corners of his mouth. He types a message.
Sunshine is typing...
QueenofMars: *gasps* he's actually going to chat!!!
FieryBoi: bec u forced him too. Can i leave this gc?
QueenofMars: no, that's not an option.
FieryBoi: tch
Sunshine: Hello guys:D
QueenofMars: wassup!
FieryBoi: hi
Miss Boomer: Hiii:)
Miss Boomer: How are you liking your phone?
Sunshine is typing...
Sunshine: It's good but I'm not familiar with using a phone. This is actually my first time using it.
QueenofMars is typing...
FieryBoi is typing...
Miss Boomer is typing...
Evren sweat drops seeing how the three of them are typing consecutively. Did he say something wrong?
QueenofMars: no way. Ur joking.
FieryBoi: makes sense, don't strain yourself learning how to use it. Take ur time
Miss Boomer: Oooh, I see. I hope you have fun with it unlike me.
Evren momentarily forgets that he's the odd one out in the group for not knowing how to use a phone due to health reasons.
Sunshine is typing...
Sunshine: Yeah, not joking and thanks for the heads-up guys.
QueenofMars: how do u live without a phone beforehand
QueenofMars: like no, i'm being dead serious
Sunshine: I watch tv and read...?
Miss Boomer: We talked about this Mars.
Miss Boomer: Not everyone's addicted to it like you.
Miss Boomer: And mind you, people can actually survive without a phone.
QueenofMars: but life is boring without it!!!
QueenofMars: and is it just me or is Stellan being unusually silent
FieryBoi is typing...
FieryBoi: i'm always silent, what are u on about?
QueenofMars: LIEEES!!! UTTER LIEEES!!!
Miss Boomer: Sorry Stellan, but I actually gotta agree with Mars on this.
Sunshine: ...
FieryBoi is typing...
FieryBoi: i can't with you guys. Evren, ur on my side right? Right???
Sunshine is typing...
Sunshine: Hm, I would agree if I didn't know you.
FieryBoi: come on
QueenofMars:😋
QueenofMars: you can't escape the allegations hehe
FieryBoi: 🙄
QueenofMars is typing...
QueenofMars: can't believe we're this close now even tho we just literally met today
FieryBoi: who says we're close?
Miss Boomer: Maybe our energies and vibes just clicked?
Sunshine: Oh, yeah! Must be!
Evren hesitates before sending another message.
Sunshine: Does this mean we're all friends now?
QueenofMars is typing...
QueenofMars: ofc silly! Why wouldn't we?
FieryBoi: we didn't ask for it
QueenofMars: ouch, you hit me straight in the heart! How could you!!!
FieryBoi: 🙄
Miss Boomer: Guys, if Mars befriends you, you can't escape. Trust me, I've been her victim.
QueenofMars: why are u making me sound like i abused you??
Evren chuckles at the messages, feeling light and bubbly–he can fly high up in the sky if he wants to. I can't believe it. I not only have 1 but 2 more friends. Is this a dream?
"Evren! I know you're excited with your new phone but you gotta sleep now!" Iseul reminds Evren, peeking through his door. Evren jerks at her sudden call but then relaxes. "Oh...uh, sure thing. I will put this off after a few seconds."
Iseul smiles. "You better be. Goodnight dongsaeng."
"Goodnight noona," Evren greets back as Iseul turns off the lights in his room, closing the door. Evren turns on the lamp on his bedside table and goes back to his phone.
Sunshine is typing...
Sunshine: Sorry guys, gotta go. I have to sleep. Goodnight everyone:)
QueenofMars: aww shucks. Gn to you too Evren:)) let's all see each other again tmrrw at school!
Miss Boomer: Goodnight, that reminds me I have some work I need to finish. Bye everyone.
FieryBoi: goodnight, i'm feeling sleepy too. See ya'll
Sunshine: Byeeee:D
Evren smiles as he turns his phone off, putting it on his bedside table. He drapes his blanket over him, snuggling in it.
He did it.
He really did make new friends.
Just like those in the movies he watched.
This is the best day ever in his life.
Evren slowly falls asleep with a soft smile on his face.
. . .
The next day, Mars and Yuka visit (or the right words here should be 'barge in') their classroom, inviting them over for lunch on the rooftop. Their classmates are dumbfounded seeing two students from the other class calling for both Evren and Stellan, wondering how they even know each other when they rarely see Evren and Stellan interact with other students outside their class.
Stellan is about to refuse their invitation, not wanting to do anything with them, but Evren beats him to it, almost bouncing on his feet. "Sure, why not!" He turns to Stellan with eager eyes. "Right?" Stellan stares at him as if Evren has suggested a crazy idea then groans. "Fine, just–let me buy lunch first in the cafeteria."
"We'll wait," Yuka says.
"Or we just ditch him." Mars pipes up.
"Mars..."
"What?"
Stellan sends them a dull glare before going straight to the cafeteria, leaving them behind. "Hey, wait up!" Evren yelps, catching up with Stellan. Mars and Yuka follow close behind, Mars constantly teasing Stellan and Stellan retorting back. Evren and Yuka exchange glances, internally sighing. Are they long lost twins?
For the following days, they frequently visit each other's classrooms and hang out, growing more comfortable with each other's presence alone. They unveil more of their true selves, little by little, in subtle ways that no one but themselves would notice, and they won't question anything. They let it flow naturally, not wanting to disrupt the stable stream. They begin to see each other as family that none of them would like to admit, despite the short span of time they share bonding with one another, their bonds strengthening akin to that of forged steel.
Evren, being the observant type if he wants to, notices this and smiles stupidly to himself. He would bring a digital camera with him to record their most chaotic and fun moments–a gift from his older brother, Caius–with the intent to treasure these memories, wanting to look back on it in the future. The others, especially Stellan, asked him about it when he first brought his digital camera. He smiled at them and merely said, "No reason, I just wanted to." The vague answer puzzled the others but they didn't ask more.
A few days ago, Stellan was picked as the representative of their section for the art competition, much to everyone's surprise. Evren, Mars, and Yuka gave him their big support before the day of the art competition, even offering to help Stellan whenever he was experiencing an art block. When the day arrived, they had been Stellan's biggest supporters–cheering for him loudly as if Stellan was participating in the Olympics and he got embarrassed by their shenanigans and told them to keep it down.
Did they listen?
No.
Instead, they cheered louder.
Stellan pretended as if he didn't know them, but deep down, the gesture warmed his heart. He would never admit that though.
As the judges were announcing the winners of the art competition, they waited with bated breaths, anxiously anticipating. When Stellan got first place, they all screamed loudly and congratulated Stellan, jumping all over the place like grasshoppers and they kept on screaming their lungs out to the point others would tell them to keep quiet. They took a picture with Evren's digital camera to commemorate Stellan's success and printed it out.
Evren keeps it in his drawers to prevent getting dirt or dust on it. He would look at the picture in his room and think; how did he become friends with these wonderful people? It is a blessing to have friends like them who make him feel like he belongs and that his presence matters. Stellan must have felt the same way too. Knowing that Evren is not the only one feeling this way makes him feel reassured.
As the weeks slip past, the dreadful midterms are coming up sooner than they want to and the quartet are forced to focus on their studies. They are currently eating lunch on the rooftop, sitting in a circle.
"I'm not ready!" Mars whines, throwing her hands up in the air. "Can the government just ban exams instead?"
"I wish the same but sadly I think that's impossible," Evren replies gloomily, sipping on his yoghurt drink.
"Just study instead of complaining," Yuka says, leaning against the railings as she stares blankly at the sky. "Should I just jump over...?" she mutters under her breath.
Stellan flips through his comics lazily, yawning. "The midterms aren't that hard though?"
Silence ensues.
Three pairs of eyes turn to stare at him with unimpressed gazes. "Stellan, I know that it must be easy for you, but consider us average beings who aren't that good at studying," Evren says in a monotone voice that is contrary to his usual cheerful one. Even Yuka's face is scrunching in disagreement. Mars points a finger at Stellan. "Oh, please. Maybe Evren here is just exaggerating but bold of you to assume that the exams are easy. I bet you get the lowest grades in your class."
The statement is so wrong that Evren has to gawk at Mars, the latter not noticing his bewildered stare. Stellan quirks one of his eyebrows in amusement. "Really? You must be right then." He shrugs, turning back to his comics. As someone who knows Stellan fairly well, Evren knows that it's a huge lie. Stellan is not only good in Math but as well as the other subjects–he gets remarkably high grades that encompasses everyone in their year. Evren thinks that he must be the reincarnation of some renowned genius based on his intellect. He wonders how Stellan is only known for his terrible reputation but not for his astounding intelligence. Do their classmates even know that Stellan is the top student of their class? If they knew, they would be following Stellan like a baby duck instead of avoiding him entirely as if he's a serial killer on the loose. An intrusive thought wanders in his mind upon thinking about it, prompting Evren to speak up. "What if," Evren says slowly, gathering the attention of everyone in their circle. "We form a study group?"
Mars and Yuka seem pleased with the suggestion, their faces lighting up like a light bulb. "I don't see a reason why we shouldn't," Yuka smiles, already swiping her phone from her pocket and typing something furiously. Evren worries that her phone might crack at the sheer amount of strength Yuka is using. "I will make plans for it, like what time to study and how long we need to study." Mars sways her body from side to side, grinning ear to ear. "I wouldn't have to study all those boring subjects on my own then!" Yuka rolls her eyes at her. "You'll just scroll on your phone instead of studying." Mars sputters at that, offended.
"How about you? Are you up for it?" Evren asks Stellan after confirming that everyone's on board with his idea. Stellan chews on his bottom lip, thinking. For a while, he hasn't said anything, making Evren think he would refuse. His expression drops, upset at the possibility but it's not like he can force Stellan to join them in. Stellan must have noticed it because he quickly answers, attempting to act all cool. "I mean–sure, why not? I don't mind."
Evren visibly brightens at his response, reminding Stellan like that of a gleeful puppy. "Then it's settled! Our journey to ace those exams starts tomorrow!" Mars declares, pumping a fist in the air, Evren shouting a 'Yeah!' in the background.
For the next couple of days, Evren and the others study in the library before and after classes and during breaks, renewed vigor surging through their veins. It came out as a great shock to them–sans Evren–when they found out that Stellan would be the one to tutor them. At first, they thought it was a prank–why would Stellan even teach them and is he capable of doing so? (Evren nagged Stellan relentlessly and Stellan caved in) But Stellan started to discuss Math and Science, sharing with them his notes that are written neatly and organized accordingly that left their jaws hanging on the floor. Evren should have taken a picture of their reaction, it was hilarious witnessing the doubt and disbelief etching on their faces. When it comes to Literature and History though, Evren would be the one to teach them and everyone pays extra attention to his discussion. As for their Computer subject, it would be Mars who is a tech junkie and as for Health, it would be Yuka who is stern with taking good care of her (and their) health.
There are days when they feel an intense fiery passion sparking their desire to excel in their exams–and then there are days when they just stare at the abyss, contemplating on their life decisions. Still, in defiance of the challenges that are thrown in their way, they overcome it and crush it into pieces, leaving no crumbs. They don't let it deter them from reaching their goal–instead they use it as a boost to spike their motivation and drive to study.
But then again, it's easier said than done.
When the midterms roll around, everyone except Stellan swears that all the knowledge they have worked hard to attain and get it stuck in their brains the past few weeks, disappears into the void without a moment's notice. But they get through it, and eventually, the midterms come to an end, allowing them to finally breathe once more.
. . .
SURVIVORS:
QueenofMars is typing...
QueenofMars: guys!!! It's finally oveeeeeeeeeeeeer!
FieryBoi is typing...
Miss Boomer is typing...
Sunshine is typing...
FieryBoi: it was easier than i initially thought.
QueenofMars: ...
Miss Boomer: ...
Sunshine: ...
Sunshine: So was I the only one struggling in Math?
QueenofMars: no, dw ur not alone, i struggled with it too
QueenofMars: it's just Stellan being a weirdo
FieryBoi: rude
Miss Boomer: Stellan, share with us some of your braincells.
Sunshine: Yeah:D
QueenofMars: 100% agree!
FieryBoi: no thanks
QueenofMars: booooooo
Sunshine: :(
Sunshine is typing...
Sunshine: What are you guys currently doing btw?
QueenofMars: nothing much, scrolling through tiktok as usual
Miss Boomer: Nothing new here. Anyways, I'm just watching this interesting crime documentary.
Sunshine: Woah, really?:0 I didn't know you were into those kinds of things.
QueenofMars: i would never do the same, i can't handle seeing blood
FieryBoi: i'm at the bookstore looking for a new manga to read
Sunshine: Cool! Can I read it once you're done?
FieryBoi: np, how bout u?
Sunshine: Just rereading a novel:)
Evren climbs down the staircase of their house, temporarily putting his phone
away so he can grab a quick snack in their kitchen. A number of rings buzz his phone; he quickens his pace. I will just get whatever snack I can find in the kitchen and return to my room.
"Haaaaa...what did the doctors say?"
"They said they haven't found the right treatment or cure for Evren's heart condition, especially since his condition is an unusual case."
"Really? Up till now? They keep on saying that..."
Evren stops, listening to his parents' conversation.
"They aren't even sure that Evren's seemingly good health will last–"
Evren's hold on the railings tightens, nausea bubbling in the pit of his stomach that threatens to rise in his throat. He swallows, holding it in.
"Then why did they discharge Evren from the hospital knowing that?"
"I don't think you would want to hear it–"
"Just tell me."
"...they said they want Evren to live a normal life despite the–"
"–are you saying he might have to go ba–"
Evren suddenly doesn't want to listen anymore, he might vomit if he continues to eavesdrop their conversation any longer. He scurries back in his room, abandoning his short trip towards the kitchen. He turns off his phone that has been vibrating since earlier, probably because of the messages in their group chat. Everyone might be fretting over him for abruptly going offline but for once–Evren doesn't care, his mind addled. His breath hitches and he screws his eyes shut, crouching on the floor. It's fine. It's all perfectly fine. Don't think much about it. You will be okay. Just like always. There's no need to overthink.
Everything will be alright.
Evren opens his eyes again and the first thing he sees is the clock on his bedside table, currently unable to function as it is broken. He stares at it. Evren doesn't know why but he hates the fact that his clock is just standing there uselessly when he can just throw it away. He stands up and takes the clock to toss it in his garbage bin– when a loud tick echoes in the air. What? Is it working? But I thought it's broken?
Evren stays fixed in his position, confused before shaking his head from thinking of useless thoughts and placing his clock back on the bedside table. Each tick of the clock increases in frequency, prickling Evren's skin like sharp needles but he ignores it. It must be nothing. He goes to his bed and covers himself in his blanket, shivering. It's weird. His air conditioner isn't turned on. So why is he feeling cold?
It's nothing. It's nothing. It's nothing.
Evren repeats it in his mind, burying himself further in his blanket. His mantra does nothing to ease the unnamed feeling settling in his chest, because all he can see are white walls and ceilings binding him from all sides, all he can smell are the chemicals lingering in the air, all he can hear are the concerned voices of the doctors and nurses–and it is as if he's stuck in his room at the hospital all over again. Alone in his lifeless, empty room.